Teen Pregnancy Forum - All Alone..scared..:(


All Alone..scared..:(

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forever_dreaming

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 1

All Alone..scared..:( Posted: 02-12-06 21:18pm


Hey.. This might be a long one.. Here's my story.. 18 yrs old/5 months pregnant/moved in with bf in october/he hit me in january/going thru court still/moved back home with my mom/still in love with bf/he has a drug problem/lies constantly/hides everything/lives an hour away/expects me to tell him all that im doing but won't say what he's doing/he owes money towards stuff but says he lost the check/probably spent it on drugs/allows his sister to control our relationship/talks caca about me to his friends/denies everything he says if people find out and makes me look like the liar/says if he moves in with me and my parents he will be a better person/blames me for him hitting me and says that I deserved it/i never wanted to have a baby ever/i said I was going to put it up for adoption/brother said he would never talk to me again/bf said he would fight it/parents said they are willing to pay for everything/bf says hes gunna get a job/been saying that since october2005/and im left alone with this child to raise all by myself/ i think it may be obvious what I should do, but it seems what I should do is the hardest.. I'm so lost about everything and have no one to talk to that understands any of it.. I use to watch those shows on girls that got beat by their boyfriends and say how stupid they are for going back, now being pregnant and scared of doing it all on my own, i'm not sure if I can tell him it's over.. :s.. sigh

jewelskye

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 172
Location: Los Angeles

Posted: 02-12-06 21:23pm


You poor thing! I'm sorry you got hit, and i'm sorry that you're going through court. In my opinion you should distance yourself from this jerk. Even though you think you love him, he's the worst thing for you, especially since you're pregnant. You're not alone.

hunterjumper

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 18 Dec 2005
Posts: 203
Location: British Columbia, Canada

Posted: 02-12-06 21:35pm


You're on the right track. I know it's scary. It's terrifying. We've all been there. The problems with your ex don't help anything either but you have to realize that his problems are his own. He's not a table or toy that can be "fixed". He's not a computer that just "malfunctioned". His problems are serious. They run deep. Far more then just you doing whatever to annoy him. No one ever deserves or asks to be hit. That is childish. That's the kind of thing my son does but that's because he's 13 months old. There's no reason for a grown up to hit someone else. You have to realize and accept how serious these problems are. They're not something that are just going to go away. You've already seen that he doesn't follow through with his promises. October was 5 months ago. There's no excuse for not having a job now....Even if it's something menial. If he had actually wanted a job and wanted to get straight...He would be. He doesn't want to so he won't. A baby won't change that. So many women hang around for years, hoping that something will change and giving up everything that they are for these guys who just stomp all over them...Physically and emotionally. It's not worth that. You are worth more. There are other guys out there better then him..By far. You don't really love him because who loves being put down? Being hit? Being disappointed all the time? Pulling all the weight in the relationship? You love the idea of him. You love the person that maybe he was when you first started going out. You love the idea of a person that he can't be. You have to do this on your own. And if you want to put your baby up for adoption, do not let anyone stop you. It is your choice and it sounds like a mature decision if ever I heard one. Good luck and stay strong.

~rubmybuddahbelly~

Active User, Really EHEALTHy

Joined: 08 Jan 2006
Posts: 752
Location: :( N.O. Evacuee now in TEXAS

Posted: 02-12-06 23:06pm


Omg my story is so much like yours... But my boyfriend actually pretended to want this baby, he calims he still does and I have and always will want my child. My ex now is a drug addict was raised a drug addict and as hard and painfull as it is to say will always be a drug addict. We were involved in hurricane katrina and he had all of our money then we split up. He left me homeless ( living with family now ) and with no money and 10 weeks pregnant. He spent all our fema money on drugs and useless crap. He talked trash to me to his family and all his friends calling me a ho' and saying the baby wasnt his untill muh cousin went and straightend everything out I couldnt even speak to people with out hearing horible made up things about me. He gave me and std called hpv from him sleeping around ( it cant cause harm to the baby ) but I do I have pre cancerous cells and the hpv virus is a form of cervical caner so muh risk goes up. He swears that he's going to change but hes been saying that since I can remember. I can show you pics from the hospital stays where he would beat the crap out of me. He busted my lip and everything and made me belive that I desserved it cause I mad him mad and he was stressed. I drew the line when he hit me and threw a beer bottle at me while I was pregnant. Im sorry but they never change. I would have loved to hear from people I told my story to that he would get better and we would live happily ever after but things 99.9% of the time only get worst. I rarely talk to him not and this is after going back in forth again with getting back together or not. I love him and I always will but the best thing for me and my child is to let go. I think if you have such supporting parents you should keep your baby... Thats a decession u should make. Yet the next best thing is adoption if thats what you really want to do. All I can say is the guys dont get better. It really does hurt to know that people go threw this kind of thing because I know from first hand experience. If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here for you and im sure alot more other girls are too... I really hope you make the right choice for you and that baby... Good luck hun.. -jen

yellow ribbon

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL

Posted: 02-12-06 23:13pm


Well you did a good thing coming here we are all here to talk to. As for your boyfriend anyone who tells u its your fault is not worth your time. You really need to just cut relations with him off dont talk to him at all not even to tell him its over jsut stop talking to him. He cant do ne thing about u giving your baby up and you should worry what your brother thinks I no its your brother but if you think adoption is the right thing its up to you your brother doesnt have to raise this baby u do and you can always do an open adoption where u can get pics and updates of your baby and depending on the ppl you select to raise your baby u ca nget some visitation if you think u have enough support and want to keep your baby thats fine to its all up to you its your child and your its mother your bf is just a sperm donor lol you will do whats right for your child thats what good mothers do

AlliE_18

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 20 Dec 2005
Posts: 2129
Location: uk

Posted: 02-13-06 06:00am


If I were you, i'd leave him for the baby's sake, because as everyone else has said, its not going to get better, he'll say hes going to change, but he wont, its empty words and broken promises over and over. If you want to keep the baby, it sounds like you have a lot of help and support from your family, which is lucky. Or adoption is also good for the baby, whatever you think is best you should do. Dont let your brother or boyfriend stop you. The baby is what's most vulnerable and important now.