Jolie_3110
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 1755
Location: Essex, England
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What Do We Tell Him?
Posted: 02-21-06 18:37pm
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I know this probably isn't meant for the
pregnancy forum, but I had a question and
didnt know where it would belong!
Well I have a 4 yr old son, he will be 5
in july, at the moment my partner and I
are ttc for baby number 3 and we have been
very open with my son and told him there
will be another baby in the house one day,
today he started asking the dreaded
question of how babies are made... We
have already talked about how babies grow
in mummies tummies and how they come out,
but I was stumped by the lastest
question!
I don't want to lie to my son but do you
think 4yrs is to young to know about the
facts of life? My mum never really told
me anything when I was young so I don't
really know where to go with this, what
would/have you done?
I dont want to make a big long fake story
about it, but I dont want to spoil his
innocence either! We are stuck!! Whats a
mother to do?!
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 02-21-06 20:14pm
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Hes 4 chances are u can distract him next
he asks I wouldnt tell my 5 year old I
think its to young. If u needto tell him
something try mommys and daddys love makes
the baby
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Kimmeh
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2005
Posts: 1104
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
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Posted: 02-21-06 20:49pm
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Yeah I wouldn't lie but I wouldn't say
anything very detailed...At that age like
macysmoma said something that he can
understand like "mom and dads love" or
something along those lines.
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 5041
Location: to hell with this crap
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Posted: 02-22-06 10:20am
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I would do the "mommy and daddy love each
other, and when they love eachother they
show their love" speech...Just leave out
the "sex" part. I remember my mom and
dad telling me that they make a baby
together just thought that they made my
little sister some how. I didnt' really
think much about it.
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QueenBee2_3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Posts: 194
Location: CT U.S.
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Re: What Do We Tell Him?
Posted: 02-22-06 11:45am
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| jolie_3110
wrote: | i know this probably isn't
meant for the pregnancy forum, but I had a
question and didnt know where it would
belong!
Well I have a 4 yr old son, he will be 5
in july, at the moment my partner and I
are ttc for baby number 3 and we have been
very open with my son and told him there
will be another baby in the house one day,
today he started asking the dreaded
question of how babies are made... We
have already talked about how babies grow
in mummies tummies and how they come out,
but I was stumped by the lastest
question!
I don't want to lie to my son but do you
think 4yrs is to young to know about the
facts of life? My mum never really told
me anything when I was young so I don't
really know where to go with this, what
would/have you done?
I dont want to make a big long fake story
about it, but I dont want to spoil his
innocence either! We are stuck!! Whats
a mother to
do?! |
don't lie but keep it simple. Tell him
only what he literally asked for. If
you're religious and believe in god, you
have an easy out. Tell him that when
it's time, god will send a baby for you to
love, and it will start growing in your
belly. Chances are he won't ask how it
literally got there, because he doesn't
have the comprehension to think that far
yet. When I told my own 5 yr old (she
asked when she was 3 or 4 and we were
expecing baby #3) I told her this, and her
response was "oh yeah, babies are from
heaven. They have to be cuz they're so
sweet! Thanks mom!"
if you're not religious, you can simply
say "when a mommy and daddy love each
other very much, and they want a new baby
to add to the family for everyone to love,
mommy and daddy's love becomes so special
that a baby gets started in mommy's
belly." then wait until he asks "but how
does it get there" to say "mommy and daddy
share a special kind of grown up hug, and
a baby starts." that should satisfy him
until he's old enough to ask what kind of
hug.
So basically, answer only with what he
literally has asked you. Keep it simple,
don't give excessive detail cuz it'll go
over his head. And if you're
comfortable, and he's persistant, you can
talk about the birds and the bees :wink:
i believe there are special books and
literature out there to help with this
sort of thing. I don't have it on hand,
but this is a good reminder to look it up.
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Tamadrummer
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2004
Posts: 710
Location: Zephyrhills,Fl
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Posted: 02-22-06 11:51am
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I would go with the stork story myself.
He is 4, no sex discussion would ever be
appropriate with him.
You can be totally sure that whatever you
tell him, he will repeate to every kid he
goes to school with and in my opinion, the
stork is the best answer.
Good luck, ;>)
brian
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 02-22-06 14:24pm
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I'm with tammadrummer.What ever you tell
him he will tell everyone,cause you know
kids like to talk.I like mama2bubba's
response "mommy and daddys love"
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 3173
Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 74
Thanked:104
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Posted: 02-22-06 18:52pm
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Be honest, my mom explained pregnancy and
how to when I was 8 she even read books
with me, now she left some parts out which
is only expected at such a delicate age
your child may get upset if he feels lied
to they do have books available for kids
about babys/pregnancys etc at chapters go
check it out
good luck!
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pachopperkyle
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Feb 2006
Posts: 60
Location: pa
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Posted: 02-22-06 22:15pm
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I disagree with all of you...Not to be
rude but I was always taught this
way....If your big enough to ask a
question then your big enough to be told
the truth....Please tell this child I mean
you dont have to get so graphic but you
need to be honest with this child.
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Tamadrummer
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2004
Posts: 710
Location: Zephyrhills,Fl
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Posted: 02-22-06 22:28pm
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| pachopperkyle
wrote: | | i disagree with all of
you...Not to be rude but I was always
taught this way....If your big enough to
ask a question then your big enough to be
told the truth....Please tell this child I
mean you dont have to get so graphic but
you need to be honest with this
child. |
and again, I completely disagree with you.
I am in college to become a teacher and
my wife is already a teacher. I have been
volunteering more than 500 hours a year at
her schools since 2000 and I know first
hand that it is a huge mistake to teach a
baby how babies are made. It is hard
enough to stop the 12- 17 crowd from
engaging in sex, and even harder to make
them choose to have protected sex if they
are going to do it. Don't have the
elementary school kids talking about it
too.
The little kid in kindergarten cop is a
prime example of teaching a baby about
sex. They simply don't need to know. It
will not hinder their ability to have sex
when they get older. That is one thing
that just happens, people don't need
instruction on having sex. They know how
due to instinct. So not telling a 4 year
old will not stunt his growth.
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QueenBee2_3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Posts: 194
Location: CT U.S.
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Posted: 02-22-06 22:47pm
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| tamadrummer
wrote: | | pachopperkyle
wrote: | | i disagree with all of
you...Not to be rude but I was always
taught this way....If your big enough to
ask a question then your big enough to be
told the truth....Please tell this child I
mean you dont have to get so graphic but
you need to be honest with this
child. |
and again, I completely disagree with you.
I am in college to become a teacher and
my wife is already a teacher. I have
been volunteering more than 500 hours a
year at her schools since 2000 and I know
first hand that it is a huge mistake to
teach a baby how babies are made. It is
hard enough to stop the 12- 17 crowd from
engaging in sex, and even harder to make
them choose to have protected sex if they
are going to do it. Don't have the
elementary school kids talking about it
too.
The little kid in kindergarten cop is a
prime example of teaching a baby about
sex. They simply don't need to know.
It will not hinder their ability to have
sex when they get older. That is one
thing that just happens, people don't need
instruction on having sex. They know how
due to instinct. So not telling a 4 year
old will not stunt his
growth. |
respectfully disagreeing here, but you're
talking about giving graphic, detailed
explanations to a child that's not at a
level of comprehension that's appropriate.
My suggestion was to tell the truth but
as briefly as possible, and in a way that
their brain can wrap around it aka "god
sends a baby to mommy's belly when mommy
and daddy are ready to welcome another
baby" or if you're not religious "mommies
and daddies decide together, and have a
special alone time."
there's nothing wrong with some honesty,
and using the old stork story or the
cabbage patch as how a baby exists is just
unfair to the child. My 5 yr old
daughter had no issues at all with my
explanation that god sends babies to
mommies who want to add to their family.
She took it as if it were
self-explanatory. In fact, she was more
concerned with how a baby comes out. My
response? "with help from some doctors."
she figured out on her own that babies
are delivered vaginally.
Give kids at least a little credit,
because you can be honest and still
withold graphic details. Simplicity is
best.
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Jolie_3110
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 1755
Location: Essex, England
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Posted: 02-23-06 05:09am
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Thanks for the replies they have really
helped.
I think we will definitely go with mummy
and daddys love making the baby, that way
I am telling the truth without having to
explain every detail!
The story with the stork might be alright
for some children but I am sure if I said
that to my son he would look at me as if I
was mad! Thing is so far he already
knows that babies grow in mummy's tummies
(he remembers me carrying my second child)
and he once asked where the baby's 'door'
was. He was born by c-section so I just
showed him my scar on my stomach and said
... 'there it is!' (i will wait untill
he's older to explain the way his brother
was born!) so the whole stork thing is
going to confuse him no end.
I believe you should be truthful and open
as much as you possibly can with children
so that they dont get confused and dont
worry about asking you questions later
on.
I have also got hold of a book which
explains pregnancy and stuff in a
childlike way, so if he starts asking
again, we can sit down and look at it
together!
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 02-23-06 13:19pm
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Jolie you had a vbac? How far apart were
your kids? I want to ahve one with this
one but im worried ill never go into labor
and I was told I cant b induced with this
one because of my c-section.
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Jolie_3110
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 1755
Location: Essex, England
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Posted: 02-23-06 13:25pm
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Hi! Whats a vbac?!
Lucas was born when aydan was 2yrs 10mths.
I was induced with lucas after having a
c-section with aydan. They didn't warn me
of any problems - mind you, the doctors I
see aren't exactly the best!
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 02-23-06 13:32pm
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Vbac stands for vaginal birth after
cesarean. What medicines did they use to
induce u? I ordered a book online about
it and ive read online that pitocin is ok
but they wont use prostagladins like
cervidil becuse there isnt enoguh research
on it. But ill have my book b4 my next
appt and I will b sure to fight the docs
cuz I dont wanna go to far with this kid
he wont fit out!
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Jolie_3110
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 1755
Location: Essex, England
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Posted: 02-23-06 13:53pm
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Right, I get you now!
Don't ask me the names of what I had
because my memory is terrible but I had
planned c-section because baby no1 was
breech and wouldn't turn.
2nd time round they said I could deliver
naturally, I found out during this
pregnancy that I carry group b strep.
2weeks before my due date my waters broke
but labour didnt start so I had to be
induced straight away (i couldnt be left
because the strep b could of infected the
baby)
anyways for starters they gave me this gel
stuff,(i think! As I said my memories
terrible)it hurt like hell! Whatever it
was it didnt work, I do remember being
told that there was a another procedure
that some women have but I couldn't have
it due to the c-section, (this might be
what you are talking about)
in the end I had to be put on a drip for
contractions to start. Believe me this
was no fun I had to have another drip for
the antibiotics for the strep b too, also
had the moniters on my stomach checking
the heartbeat. I literally couldnt move
or the moniter would strart bleeping
because it lost track of the h/b! This
was definitely the worst bit, if I was
able to get in a different position I
think I would have been able to cope
better but unfortunatly I spent the whole
time on my back!
Labour went really slow at first and they
were threatening me with another
c-section, which I didn't want. Then out
of nowhere I just started pushing him out,
it took 5 hours in all. I had pethidine
for pain relief because I didnt want
epidural but I wouldnt recommend it, it
made me really drowsy and slowed babys
heartbeat and certainly didnt seem to help
with the pain much!! Lol!
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 991
Location: South Carolina
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Posted: 02-23-06 13:57pm
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Just curious.... Does anyone remember
asking their parents about where babies
came from? Cause I don't.
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michelle1981
Supporter
Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 7236
Location: Toronto, Canada
Thanks: 7
Thanked:6
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Posted: 02-25-06 08:07am
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I don't either lalee.
I have something for you guys.......
A little boy goes to his father and asks
"daddy, how was I born?"
the father answers: "well, son, I guess
one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your mom and I first got together in a
chat room on yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your
mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We
sneaked into a secluded room, where your
mother agreed to do a download from my
hard drive. As soon as I was ready to
upload, we discovered that neither one of
us had used a firewall, and since it was
too late to hit the delete button, nine
months later a blessed little pop-up
appeared and said:
"you've got male!"
so smile :)
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Tamadrummer
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Oct 2004
Posts: 710
Location: Zephyrhills,Fl
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Posted: 02-25-06 14:07pm
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Michelle,
that is classic and I am going to print
the story and give it to my techy friends
at school. Since I am in college to
become a computer programmer iformational
technologies. They will get a kick out of
it.
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kirztensmummy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005
Posts: 326
Location: london
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Posted: 02-25-06 16:11pm
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Lol michelle you never fail :d its like
you're broadcasting my story well the
you've got mail bit took a bit longer tho
lol :d :d :d
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