Joined: 21 Feb 2006 Posts: 5 Location: victoria,australia
Feeling Helpless And Lost Posted: 02-22-06 01:14am
:( hi all,im 20 and live with my partner.I
was independent at a young age but thats
another story,anyway I have been with my
bf for almost 4 years and he loves me so
much.I met him when I was going through
some things in life and we hit it off
straight away.To cut a long story short we
dated long distance and in the end I moved
here(3 years ago)to be with him.Our
relationship has been full of ups and
downs,but we've always worked through
them,but about three months ago I started
feeling like I want to be single and out
with my friends,i tell him when im drunk
that its over and that im not ready to
settle down,but the next day I can't bring
myself to tell him again sober.He just
carries on like nothing happened.
He wants to marry soon and the kids and
the whole caboodle but im focused more on
life and my career.
Another thimg is I don't want sex from him
anymore but he is so attractive and girls
swoon over him when we go out,but im not
interested in doing anything.I don't want
to break his heart and cause ive moved
away from home im mostly alone.My friends
are not in a relationships and have no
idea what its like.!!!!!!1
i used to want everything in life to
happen with him,now when he comes home I
wish he didn't sometimes..... : :cry: I
don't know what to do?
|
Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 02-25-06 22:32pm
If you aren't happy, then you aren't
happy. There's nothing that can make that
untrue.
That being said: you're not married, i'm
gathering you don't have children....
What's the problem? You say "he loves me
so much," but never even hint at loving
him. Are you afraid no one else will love
you and you might be giving that up?
That's ridiculous.
Also, how old is he? I'm guessing by the
difference in life goals here that he must
be older. That's something that you have
to consider... People are at different
stages of their lives when they're
different ages.
I'm not going to pretend to know what's
happening, but this is what I gather from
your post: you've been with this guy for a
really long time. You don't want to
settle down.. Least of all with him...
But you also are afraid to leave. You've
gotten so comfortable with being in a
relationship that you don't know how to be
out of one. Also, the fact that he was
basically your knight in shining armor
when you were having some tough times
makes it even harder for you to leave
because you feel like you owe it to him to
stay. Am I close?
If he is just pretending nothing is
happening after your drunken confessions,
he is apparently having a problem, too.
He obviously knows how you feel, but he
probably thinks that, because you say it
when you're drunk, he can pretend it never
happened and not have to confront it. But
you have to confront it. And the sooner
the better. You don't want to be cruel to
the man, but you also don't want to spend
the rest of your life being unhappy and
wondering what your life could have been
like. You're young, and there's no reason
for you to have to stop your life just
because a man wants something you don't.
The only strings attaching you here are
emotional and, while emotional strings are
tough, they can also be broken.
Sorry this is so long. Good luck to you,
and I hope you get everything you want.
|
MizzPurty28
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Feb 2006 Posts: 25
Posted: 03-13-06 14:04pm
Well kelly it sounds to me like you have
made your decision, especially if this is
how you have been feeling for a while. I
was in a relationship more than once when
it was over for them for they held that
back from me momentarily. That hurt more
than anything the fact they couldn't just
be real with me about the way they felt.
It just hurt so bad that they drug it out
knowing all the while they were done with
me and wasting one anothers time.
Someone told me something once and it may
be beneficial to you as well. At first I
thought it sounded mean but it makes
sense.
