Background: my husband, myself and our son
(1.5 at the time) lost our home in a
flood. We were suddenly homeless and
living all over the place. We didn't
have (in my eyes) the strongest
relationship to begin with. More like
friends. He was always very distant and
not very loving or emotionally available.
We hired a builder to reconstruct our
home...
I started going to conseling before the
flood, my husband drank, alot. I would
find him sitting in his truck drinking
before he'd walk through the door. He
works in manhattan and has a long day
leaves the house by 7 and gets home about
7:30 his commute is about 1.5hrs each way.
He continually used this "excuse". All I
had to do was sit home with the baby, he
pays for everything, etc. We discussed
before the baby our intentions of my
staying home.
I eventually had enough, asked for a
seperation. He didn't find that to be
acceptable and eventually I had an affair.
We were getting divorced but, I couldn't
go through with it, it was too scarey.
We got back together and he just keeps
digging on me. X-mas morning I woke up
to a huge bag of coal in my front yard,
valentines day liquer filled bottles of
chocolates, most recent a myspace.Com
website dedicated to what a horrible
person I am.
Is this hopeless??? I feel like I hate
him. What do you do???
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lsipes
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jan 2006 Posts: 325
Posted: 02-24-06 00:12am
First of all, the tired excuse of him
paying all the bills and you sitting on
your a.S.S and doing nothing is old and
lame. My ex did the same thing. Those
aren't his only responsibilities, he has
emotional responsibilities to the family
as well. And you are raising his
child!!!!! That's the most important job
in the world! You're shaping your child
into what he will eventually be as an
adult! Ugh. I stayed home with my son
for the duration of my marriage too, and
i've heard everything in the book as far
as insults about it. You two chose
together for you to be a sahm. If he has
issues with it now, that's his problem and
it would be much more productive to talk
to you about it.
As far as the huge bag of coal and liqeur
filled candies, they could've been a
stupid, immature practical joke gone awry.
I wasn't there. But it's a pretty
suckers thing to do. And the myspace
account? What kind of loser has the time
to devote an internet site to his life
partner's unworthiness? What adacity he
has. He obviously doesn't give a hell of
a lot about you if he's basically
slandering your name all over the internet
for the entire world to see.
I'm so sorry. I felt so helpless in my
marriage and it kills me to think of other
women suffering in the way that I did.
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kellyrichter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Feb 2006 Posts: 5 Location: victoria,australia
Posted: 02-24-06 17:46pm
Although not married and have no kids, im
in a relationship that should have ended a
long time ago.Im much the
same.....Staying for whatever reason?It
seems I fantasise leaving but dont have
the courage to....
Is it maybe its what we're used to....And
we'd find ourselves lost and not knowing
what to do without that stability?Even if
it is no good?
There is a whole new world out there thats
waiting for you and ur baby....
You don't need no mans money to make a
stable and loving home for u both...After
all thats what you deserve....No matter
what mistakes you've made!
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 02-28-06 13:23pm
Thats insane,i can't believe you let him
treat you like your a worthless piece of
crap! Get out while you can!
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 02-28-06 15:08pm
Hi! It is not so much that you hate him
it is just that you no longer have the
respect for him. You did what you could
by going to a couselor, you deserve
better! Do not let him bring you down!
Take him to court and get some child
support, get a job and move on. You do
not have to live or raise your child in
that type of abuse!
Good luck!
Let us know how you are doing.
We are here for you.
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ronnienicho1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Feb 2006 Posts: 3
Thank You... Posted: 03-01-06 08:04am
I just want to thank anyone who has
replied to this message. Things are in
such a state of disarray and i'm trying to
keep my head together. The support the
responses give really help despite the
fact I don't really know anyone.
