Khaie, you are not alone. I've had
bipolar for roughly 9 years now but in all
actuality i've had the disorder longer
longer since I wasn't treated until I was
18. My recommendations to you are one,
stay on your medication to find out if
it's truly working. If the medication
gives you suicidal thoughts, consult your
physician immediately. Some medications
can cause for suicidal thoughts, more than
what you were having previously. Also,
seek therapy asap.
I know what you speak of when you stated
your family and/or friends would pick on
you for not being normal, so to speak.
You are normal, know that. As a matter of
fact, my life is happier than everyone
else in my family. They are ignorant to
understand the disorder, hence why they
would make fun of you. Stand your ground
and do what you need to do regardless of
how they feel about it. I walked away
from my family to rid of the negativity
for quite some time and it wasn't until
then they realized the true aspect of the
disorder and they were willing to accept
who I was. Having bipolar is not a
personality flaw or any other flaw of you.
It's the changes in the chemicals in your
brain which can be treated with
medication. As for therapy, you must find
someone who specializes in bipolarism.
Anyone else could lead you down the path
of destruction. Keep these tips in mind.
I find that having bipolar has defined who
I am moreso than before. I don't use it
as a crutch in my life but see it for what
it is as I accept it. I makes life
interesting and my life is never dull and
boring with it. As a matter of fact I can
honestly say without it I would feel less
of a person. Imagine that?!
I was majorly suicidal from the ages of
7-24 until I was prescribed zoloft and
lithium, which I only take for a few
months a year when I know mania and
depression will act up the most. I'm
scarred for life physically but you don't
have to remain emotionally scarred from
the disorder. Also, I too was scared of
treatment because I did not understand it.
I was hospitalized for a month which is
like a sobriety test in all aspects.
Therapy helped after I found a good
therapist but that took time. I went
through 5 therapists prior to finding the
one for me. I've gone through 3 different
medications to find the perfect one as
well. I'm quite impatient when it comes
to getting better but it all paid off in
the end.
You are not alone. Although I may not be
able to be there to help you in person I
am an e-mail away. Feel free to write if
you wish. Email address is
j
essie_appleby@netzero.Net
take care of yourself khaie and think of
nothing but getting better and helping
yourself. To be scared is normal so don't
think you are flawed. Live life to the
fullest girl.
Jessie
