I Dont Think My Heart Will Ever Heal Help!!!! Posted: 02-27-06 23:01pm
I am getting ready to turn eighteen years
old. Almost two years ago I meet this
guy through friends and we started dating
the beginning of spetember 04'.
Everything was perfect with us, we spent
all out time together, we had fun, we were
like best friends as well as boyfriend and
girlfriend. He even bought me an
engagment ring that I never got. Any
way, the beginning of last year we started
fighting a lot ver stupid crap for no
reason. He wasn't an angel but I do
admit that I started to take him for
granted and forgot all about why we were
together at all, which was because we were
in love. For me and him we were each
others first love.
He called one day out of the blue
and broke up with me because he said we
were fighting too much and we needed time
apart. I took it so hard that I had to
be rushed to the emergency room because I
overdosed on pills and about died. I
moved out of my dads house in with my mom
and would not get out of bed for almost 3
months. I was miserable.
Anyway I started coming back around and
trying to hang out with friends some this
past july and I was doing ok, although I
missed him a lot. This past september me
and him started talking again and in
october we started dating again. I was
so happy and I was determined to do things
better this time. We only dated about a
month and a half when he hold me to go to
his house one day and when I got there he
told me we needed to talk. He said that
he still loves me with all his heart but
it flet different betwenn us this time and
that he had so much goin on now that it
wasnt going to work.
I knew god was with me that day because I
didn't even cry although I could feel my
heart breaking all over again. I agreed
with him about thigs feeling different, I
mean I know no matter what happens with me
and him things will never be the same as
it was in the beginning.
Anyway, I stopped calling him and stuff,
but he still calls me and we talk and
still see each other at least once every
week or two. And everytime we spend time
together we act like were dating. But
what I have no told him is that it is
killing me not to be his girlfriend. I
love him with everything inside of me. I
miss him so much, I don't even think about
any other guy. Everytime a guy asks me
out I say no because it ain't him. He
does not have another girlfriend, he says
he wont be ready for that for a long time.
But everyday I cry and miss him, and I
can't see myself with someone else. It's
like something is telling me to not let
go. I just don't know what to do
anymore, it is literally starting to kill
me. My appetite has changed, I stay
stressed out and I don't know how to fix
this. Please help!!!
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 02-27-06 23:08pm
I think you need to stop spending time
with him. Seriously. You're letting him
call the shots here, and he's just going
to continue to do so as long as you go
along with it.
You say that every time you're together,
you act like you're dating. Well, he's
getting the perks of a girlfriend without
the commitment when you do that. I'm not
saying he's a jerk or he's out to break
your heart... I don't know the guy. But
the best thing you can do for yourself is
stop torturing yourself by being around
him. And tell him that. Tell him that
you want to be with him, that you love him
(everything you feel about him). Tell him
you understand if he can't be in a
relationship right now but that it's too
hard for you to be with him and he needs
to understand that you have to have your
space away from him now. Not forever.
Just until you can better handle it.
The more you spend time with him, the more
you're going to think about how much you
want to be his girlfriend. The
expression, "time heals all wounds" is not
a lie. Trust me.
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kezia333
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2005 Posts: 133 Location: Texas
Posted: 02-28-06 00:31am
Trust me I have thought about telling him
to stop calling and let me have my space.
It's just everytime I want too I chicken
out because im not strong enough to do
that right now, if I was then I would be
fine, but it has a lot to do with the
place I live as well. I mean it's a
small town, everyone gets in your business
and either way I am going to have to see
him when I am out.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 02-28-06 12:45pm
If your not strong enough now,you will
never be strong enough to help yourself.It
does not matter if you see him out and
about,say hi and keep walking.The other
girls is right,he has you when he wants
without a commitment and it is making
things worss for youyou need to break him
off girl,the more time you spend away from
him,the more you will feel better
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Nyla
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 21 Location: New Zealand
Posted: 03-01-06 16:27pm
Not that i'm ancient at 27, but when your
young, you tend to love so intensely and
so passionately that when your heart gets
truly broken for the first time it feels
like the end of the world. Trust me it
isn't! Women tend to mourn
relationships in order to move on - for
your own sanity distance yourself from
this guy, tell him so. If he doesn't
listen take it as a con against his
character (pros and cons) you think about
him all the time and probley mostly the
good times together - there must have been
a reason for all the fighting - and no not
all your fault - remember those reasons,
it will help with the staying away from
him thing. All the energy your putting
into him in thinking, seeing etc...
Could be best used elsewhere. Just
breath, redirect that energy into you ...
Hobbies, whatever else it is you do.
There really are more guys out there,
don't let this experience put you off.
Talk to someone, counseling, somebody.
And please know I want you to live.
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wifeandmomtoone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: OR
Posted: 03-02-06 01:01am
I agree with nyla. I remember how hard
it was for me to break up with my first
love. It actually took 2 years of on
again/off again for me to muster up the
courage to cut the ties for good. I
would have been a lot better off just
calling a spade a spade and ending it when
I knew it was over, because we both
suffered from hanging on. As hard as it
is to imagine, you will love again...And
even more intensely than you do now.
But, that can't happen if you are
investing all your energy into a
relationship or the hope of a relationship
with a guy that you know isn't right for
you. Be honest with yourself, be honest
with him, you will both be better off for
it.
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w0rldd0minat0r
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 238
Posted: 03-02-06 18:40pm
The more you spend time with him and while
its gd your going to want to spend more
time unless something is going to happen
for definate you need to get over him and
move on with your life find something you
want to achieve and go and go until you
have done that maybe spend sometime in a
different part of the country completely
splitting yourself from him because if he
was a drug then u'd be an addict
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kezia333
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2005 Posts: 133 Location: Texas
Posted: 03-05-06 20:33pm
Just thought that I would let yall know
that I did tell him the other night how I
felt, and told him I couldn't take it
anymore and I have not talked to him since
because he got pretty upset about it so I
don't know what his deal is but like I
said I have not talked to him for about
four days, and I am feeling a little
better. Thank you all for all your help.
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kezia333
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2005 Posts: 133 Location: Texas
Posted: 03-05-06 20:33pm
Just thought that I would let yall know
that I did tell him the other night how I
felt, and told him I couldn't take it
anymore and I have not talked to him since
because he got pretty upset about it so I
don't know what his deal is but like I
said I have not talked to him for about
four days, and I am feeling a little
better. Thank you all for all your help.
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Nyla
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 21 Location: New Zealand
Posted: 03-05-06 21:52pm
Good on you! :)
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Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 03-05-06 23:06pm
Good for you, and i'm so glad to hear
you're starting to feel better. Keep it
up!
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 03-05-06 23:21pm
Please, do not jump for him when he calls.
Just take a time out from him and see
others, this will help you to deccide,
just do not go out and be on the rebound
with these other guys.
Good luck to you!
Keep us posted,
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kezia333
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2005 Posts: 133 Location: Texas
Posted: 03-09-06 05:53am
I am trying so hard not to be weak right
now. He started calling me again and all
that but I am trying to distance myself
from him as much as possible and avoiding
him as much as possible. Thanks for all
the advice, it helps. I don't know what
will end of this but I do know it is about
to wear me down.
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firedsoul
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005 Posts: 10 Location: Netherlands
Posted: 03-25-06 16:05pm
Kezia... Listen to my words... Walk
away. Now...Why? Its simple kezia.. Hes
bad for you.. If someyone is bad for you
walk away! Please listen to me because I
know how it is and I went too far in it
myself but I did learn from it!.
Eventually it will break you. Walk away
now!! It will hurt for a few weeks but
you need to let him go. If someyone is
bad for you then there not ment for you.
Accept the fact that its never ganna work.
Thats how life works. Its hard I know
but in time you will feel a lot better
once this person is out of your life! He
doesn,t deserve you. You should be with
the person how is good for you. Your only
making it longer to meet the one who is
good for you if you keep diong this too
yourself. Walk away <- take this
advice its important.
