Ahaha before anyone freaks out everything is .F.I.N.E!!
But
it's so soon now :( I wasn't scared before, especially about giving birth but now that it could happen, a.N.Y.T.I.M.E I am starting to freak out. Today I went to take the dog out and I walked to the mail box (across the street) and I could feel sooo much pressure from the babies head, I .K.N.O.W for sure it's going to be soon! And then tonight as I was sitting here i've felt some stronger contractions (i went to the hospital on saturday with contractions and they sent me home to wait for stronger ones) but they're still not strong enough, but still. I've been counting them and they're pretty regular and under 10 minutes...So I know it will be any day now, and i'm starting to get myself psyched out...I've never done this before and i'm not one for the unknown. I .R.E.A.L.L.Y want to do this drug free, mostly for myself and baby, as it is better if you can do it. I have an okay pain tolerance, so I should last for atleast a while. It makes me feel better to know that I don't .H.A.V.E to suffer but I kinda didn't wish I knew I could have them too...Lol.

I'm kinda scared about after she comes (although as labor comes first that's number one on my agenda at the moment) not so much as taking care of her...But what a huge responsibility it is...I'm still having problems with her father and I dunno whats going on there (like amonth ago he hung up the phone and me and called back to accuse me of being with someone else just because I said I wouldn't be getting back together with him- and he hasn't talked to me since, sometimes he calls my mom for whatever reasons and if I answer hes a complete jerk to me or acts like I am a stranger...Plus he just called to say that tomorrow he moves into his own place, but he doesn't have a phone so i'll have to call his work and leave a msg for him...But he works nights and he doesn't work fridays and saturdays...I dunno but to me that sounds really bad as .H.E apparently wants to be involved...He makes okay money at this job and has no intentions of paying me child support (ass) so I dunno why he doesn't have a phone...But I think a responsible adult and parent would have a number to reach in emergencies.) so yeah when she is born I dunno what kind of hectic days that is going to cause. Plus I have to go back like 2-3 weeks after she is due to school...It's crazy...I dunno what happens if I deliver late and they induce me 2 weeks after she is due...Ack. I am counting on getting on student finance but I mean I don't know for sure and I missed so much time this year that it doesn't look good. If I don't get on it i'm going to have to get a job and finish school later because I wont be able to work part time and hold school and a baby (i know lots of moms do, and I think they're amazing, but I .K.N.O.W me, and I wont be able to, i'll just end up skipping all the time) aww I dunno I am worrying a lot about stuff I shouldn't worry about now with...But as I sit here my contractions getting kinda stronger and more frequent I can't help it!

Anyways thanks for listening to my rant girlies! The best to you! And hopefully I will have pictures of this kid soon! Maybe in the next day or two if they keep up with tonights progress!

But I am off to bed as I didnt nap today and its 1:56 am and I am .P.O.O.P.E.D hehe and this may be my last sleep before my labor...Hehe although some of these are .R.E.A.L.L.Y getting painful :shock: I may not be able to sleep very long! Lol how exciting!