Joined: 31 Dec 2003 Posts: 1 Location: Hayward, California
Can I Get Advive Please Posted: 12-31-03 03:23am
Hi ,i'm new here and I was wondering if
you can help me with a question I have .I
need a 'grownup's point of view.I'm 16 and
just found out that i'm pregnant i'm
afraid to tell my mom because I just
really feel like she would not understand
me at all.On top of that i'm not sure
whether it's a good thing to keep the baby
or have an abortion. I really feel like
keeping it but i'm not sure can you please
help me.
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Suzy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2003 Posts: 530
Posted: 12-31-03 08:11am
Hi enana,
i was 16 when I had my first baby, and
when my mum found out she was kind of
shocked, maybe even a bit upset about the
whole thing, but eventually she was
actually quite excited about it. It's
hard to tell how your parents are going to
react with something like this, but it is
always much easier if you can get their
support. I'll be blantantly honest with
you, it is incredibly hard raising a child
at 16. Probably the hardest thing you
will ever have to do, but it is very
rewarding aswell.
Good luck
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DismalEuphoria
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2003 Posts: 99 Location: US
Please Think Long And Hard About This! Posted: 12-31-03 15:54pm
Abortion is your choice, but there are
soooooooooo many families out there who
would love to have a baby, and just
physically can't. I have lost 3 of my own
due to various medical reasons, but we
still want to keep trying. A baby is a
blessing, and if you aren't ready for this
baby, you should look in to adoption
agencies. You can choose a family who can
provide the kind of love and financial
support for your baby that you would've
wanted for him or her. There are also
open adoptions so that if you want your
baby to be able to eventually contact you
when they're older, your information is
available to them.
As far as your mom goes, she will probably
be upset. You are young, and obviously
not totally ready for a baby if you are
having doubts. However, this baby is also
her grandchild. She will probably be
upset at first, but as time progresses and
you start to grow and feel your baby kick,
she will undoubtedly become excited. Once
you tell her, then go from there. What's
the worst she can do? Yell at you? Talk
to her. Tell her your plans, share your
fears...Moms can be incredibly comforting
in times like these! Then once that's
past, you can move on and start planning
your life for you and your little baby.
also, no matter what you decide to do,
please, in the future, use protection. At
least a condom! Not even just a condom,
use the pill as well, if you don't want
any more babies just yet.
goodluck and please, keep me updated. I
will be here for you if you ever need to
talk, just message me!
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jloazz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2003 Posts: 16
Enana Posted: 01-01-04 23:10pm
Hey enana! I am eighteen and just found
out I am pregnant a few weeks ago. I'm
still in school and everything so my
parents were pretty upset when I told
them. They know that I will be a good
mother so it eases their worrying a
little. I know that, for me, it was the
absolute hardest thing i've ever had to
do, but once I told them it took a big
load off my back. It is gonna be hard,
i'm not gonna lie to you, but after the
shock passes your parents should be just
as accepting as mine. I thought that my
parents would be the worst to tell
something like this to but it wasn't that
bad. My dad, believe it or not, is
taking it the best out of anybody. I
think that you should definetely think
twice before having an abortion because
once you do it its done and you cant take
it back. I know a lot of people who have
had abortions and regret it for the rest
of their lives. I think that you being
mature enough to seek help makes you a
very resposible person. I hope evrything
goes ok with the folks and that you take
my advice into consideration! I will
keep you in my prayers!
Good luck and god bless!
~jennifer
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latoya_bryer
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2004 Posts: 73 Location: New Orleans
Do the Right Thing Posted: 01-02-04 11:15am
First of all you must tell your mom. I
dont know how strong your relationship is
with your mother but if you respect your
mother's feelings you would tell her.
When I first found out I was pregnant I
was scared to tell my mother and I was 19
years old so I can understand if you are
afraid. Just know that that's what
mothers are there for. If you cant trust
her who can you trust. Just be prepared
because this will really shock her. Ask
her opinon about the abortion because she
has to be there because you are a minor.
Just trust you good judgement and do the
right thing okay. If you need to talk
just reply to the message. latoya
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pregmommy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2004 Posts: 15
Posted: 01-02-04 21:22pm
Well this is a really hard decision, I
might not be a grown up I am only about to
be 20 yrs old, but abortion is such a
horrible word, think about the future, my
sil had an abortion 5 yrs ago and till
this day she regrets ever doing it, like
someone said earlier,there are so many
couples that are trying to have kids but
cant and if you really dont want to keep
the baby that could be another choice. I
got preggers when I was 16 too, and I was
very happy, but also scared, now all I can
say is that having this baby has been the
most precious gift or blessing god could
have ever given me and I would die if
anything were to ever happen to her! My
mom did get a little upset and not to say
my dad almost had a heart attack but that
just lasted a few days or maybe a couple
of weeks but they couldnt do anything
about it anymore what done is done and
thats it, so now let me tell you they love
her more than they love me!
they get mad and upset at me when I dont
come over to visit them just cause they
miss the baby so much! I think that you
should tell your parents and see what
happens, catch them when they are in a
good mood and hopefully they dont take it
that bad, sooner or later they will
eventually get over it and you'll see they
will fall in love with the baby as soon as
they see him or her for the first time!!
~*~*~*best of luck to you and hope you
make the best decision for yourself and
for the little angel inside of you*~*~*~*
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caracook
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2004 Posts: 464 Location: Richmond, KY
Posted: 01-03-04 12:38pm
My step mom got preggers when she was 15,
had my step sister at 16 and her parents
(who were extremelly strict) were so upset
with her. In the end they supported her
and helped out so much. If your parents
aren't willing to help you out and they
don't change their minds you should
definately consider adoption. Also, don't
let anyone bully you into anything.
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saross78
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2004 Posts: 14 Location: newcastle, uk
Posted: 01-03-04 15:51pm
I was 21 when I had my daughter and I was
also scared to tell my parents, at first
my dad didnt want to know, he didnt
dissown me or anything, he just didnt want
to hear the word baby or hear about
pregnancy, but then when I was about 6
months he came round to idea bought me
things ready for baby even offered to take
me to hospital when I went into labour, as
scary as it feels for u, your parents will
come around to what ever decision you
make, and remember there reaction may be
down to the fact they are realising there
little girl has grown up, they will be
fine parents support you through
everything, un written rules of parenting
good luck x
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jplundeen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Jan 2004 Posts: 25 Location: usa
Scared Posted: 01-04-04 21:49pm
Hi my heart goes out to you and I wish I
culd hug you and tell you the day that
that baby is born will be unbelievable you
will wonder what you did
before!1! And I hope your mom will love
you and open her heart.
As for abortion the rest that replied
answered it best "no" so many would love
the baby therer's a reason for you being
pregnant don't give it up!!
I will be thinking of you!! God bless
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syl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 3
About Hypoglycemia Posted: 01-04-04 22:30pm
I was wondering if this hypoglycemia is
gonna affect my pregnancy, I am about 3
weeks pregnant.
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uncertain
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2003 Posts: 18 Location: missouri
Posted: 01-04-04 23:07pm
Tell your mom yes she is proably going to
be upset but not forever I was 15 when I
found out I was pregant my mom was there
when the doc came in and said I was
pregant we both cried my biggest fear was
how to tell my father he did not say award
to me for weeks but now my son is his life
and to even think abortion is silly a few
weeks after finding out I was pregant I
was in a car accident I broke my back and
the doctors was not even sure if my baby
was going to make it through the night
will he did so then they were not sure if
he would make trough the pregancy and if
he did something maybe wrong with him the
day did come for me to give birth and I
was so scared and he came into this world
alive and healthy and to this day I say he
is my miracle in more than one way he was
the one who taught me about life he kept
me fighting for his and my life and I will
thank him for that every day and we did
this alone (no father) together and know
my fiance who is in school to be a phycian
will be adopting him when we are married
this year so yeah thing are going to be
scary hard and mom and dads are going to
be upset but things will work out just
stay in school so you can take care of you
and your baby but it is a life one god has
given you a piece of heaven so love it
enjoy it cherish it fight for it its a
life
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14goingonmommy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 17 Location: Georgia
Posted: 01-04-04 23:14pm
Hey enana, i'm going through the same
thing and I am only 14 about to be 15.
Thank you so much for asking this question
because I was even afraid to talk about it
in here. So you really helped me a lot
too. I'd love for us to talk so pm me if
you want to. Again, thank you so much.
And good luck with your desicion.
Brianna
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jonsbaby2003
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Minnesota
Enana Posted: 01-06-04 02:19am
I was 16 when I got pregnant with my first
son, and believe me!, I know hat you're
going through. My parents were very
strict, and immediately told me to have an
abortion when I told them. They made the
appoinment for me and everything. When I
went to the clinic, I was given a lot of
time to think about it because it was
practically an all morning process. I
saw girls crying about it, but then some
were laughing and talking about the party
they were going to later on that night,
and it all just made me sick! I didn't
want to have an abortion, but was doing it
to please my family.
Long story short - I left that clinic.
When I got home, I sat down with my
family, told them how much I loved them,
and very politely yet firmly told them
that there was going to be a new edition.
I kept my baby. Once my family saw how
committed I was to keeping my child, they
quickly warmed to the idea, and even threw
me the most wonderful baby shower
imagineable! :p
i'm not saying that things will or won't
be the same for you, but I am saying that
whatever decision you make has to be your
own and no one else's because ultimately
you'll be the one who has to live with it.
Talk to your mother, and be truthful
about the way you feel. Adoption is
always an option, but abortion is
permanent and irreversible. I think
you'll be surprised because parents really
are a lot more understanding than we think
they are. Good luck in whatever you
choose to do!
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Farah
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2003 Posts: 201
Posted: 01-07-04 00:28am
Here's what you have to consider: it's
easy for you to see abortion as an easy
fix right now because you've never had a
baby to understand the love it generates
inside of you. But it is not an easy
solution. It is not a solution at all.
It will bring you far more pain than you
realize. Yes, it's scary to tell your
mom, at first she might freak out. But I
think it would hurt her to think her
little girl couldn't tell her this.
Just talk to her. I'm a mom and I know
how much we love our babies. :d
latoya
they get mad and upset at me when I dont
come over to visit them just cause they
miss the baby so much! I think that you
should tell your parents and see what
happens, catch them when they are in a
good mood and hopefully they dont take it
that bad, sooner or later they will
eventually get over it and you'll see they
will fall in love with the baby as soon as
they see him or her for the first time!!
