Losing 4 Years?- Big Time Drama! Posted: 03-07-06 00:34am
:cry: well... How do I start?
When I was sixteen, I wanted the boys
that didn’t want me. Hard to get,
well I met robert and totally fell head
over heels. He was 18.
Perfect teeth, perfect body. He was
the whole package. Within a week
friendship turned into like.
Eventually like turned into love...
And here I am! Miserable!
For the past 4 years I thought our
relationship was perfect. I loved
to show him off... We have a house
2 dogs and a picked fence. We are
perfect! So I thought. Today
I just found out what I sometimes would
get gut feelings about. The truth.
He has cheated on me...I found out
from his sister who is currently living
with us. Oh did my heart just come
right out. Not only did he cheat,
but everyone and their mom knows but me!
(he has 10 brothers and sisters and
not to mention all of his friends) I am
hurting! I am mad. And the
worse part of it. The girls he was
with were my friends, the people I would
introduce my perfect boyfriend to.
Man! How dumb do I feel now!
I need advice! His sister told me
that it was about a year ago and he has
"changed" since but has he? Today,
I confronted him about my suspicions and
told him I want him to leave and I no
longer want to be with him. But in
my heart I feel as if what I did was the
right thing, but if he has been good...
Is the past the past? Let me
remind you when he cheated he was only 21.
I’m not justifying it, but all of
his friends are single and it would have
been easy. He did leave, but his stuff
is still here. And he hasnt called or
anything. I really need advise.
Is my "perfect" boyfriend really perfect
for me? Help please!
Last edited by Corie209 on 03-08-06 15:47pm; edited 3 times in total
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 03-07-06 14:36pm
This is a tough decision.I know you are
hurt about all of what he did,as I would
be too.To tell you the truth,cheating is
no different if they did it yesterday or
last year,it is still cheating and you
need time to heal from that whether you
still want to be with him or not.You need
to take time for yourself to sort your
feelings out and decide whether you want
to be with him.Ask his sister if she is
sure he has not done it in the past
year,b/c he might have and she is also
oblivious to it.Don't feel
stupid.Sometimes friends aren't your true
friends if they did not concider you or
your feelings.I would not talk to them
anymore if you have not done so yet.You
deserve better than that.
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Corie209
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2006 Posts: 5 Location: CA
Respond Posted: 03-07-06 15:31pm
Thanks so much for the advise. I have
talked to his sister, but she says she is
not sure. And more than likely he
has. 4 years is a a long time, but I
am young and still able to mingle. I
have not talked to him at all. He
hasnt called since I asked him to leave,
but all of his things are still here!
So l am going out with some of my friends
shopping and hopefully he comes by when I
am not here. Another thing is, last
night his friend called my friend to tell
her about the breakup (what a girl, huh?)
and then he said that robert(my ex) said "
oh she'll call and well get back together"
I guess that is what he suspects, but
whatever! Im gone.. And that
song "cheatin" by sara evans is perfect
for him! Thanks again for your relpy!
-corie :)
Last edited by Corie209 on 03-08-06 15:41pm; edited 1 time in total
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 03-07-06 15:44pm
No problem girl.It sounds like he is a
little cocky thinking you will put up with
and get over what he did.I would call him
and tell him to come get his things.If you
want tell him when you will be shopping
and to have his things out by then and if
he does not you will put all his things
outside.Maybe he will start trying to
crawl back to you!He does not sound like
the right person for you to be with.You go
out and have a good time,forget about his
cheatin a$$!
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 03-07-06 17:12pm
I am sorry that you are hurting, I know it
is hell! Now you know that their is no
such thing as a perfect relationship.
Are you sure he is cheating, didn't you
say that his sister was unsure? I
understand what you are going through, I
have been there before and it is not you
fault, even though they try to make it out
like it was your fault but don't believe
it.
You have a choic of what you want to do or
feel iss the right thing to do and I am
not here to judge or tell you as it is
your choice he feels that ass long as his
stuff is their that he is still there.
I wish you luck on what you decide to do
as kong as you are happy, that is the main
thing!
The best to you!
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 03-08-06 10:56am
I think she meant the sister was unsure if
he had done it in the past year. She said
everyone knew about it except her.
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Corie209
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Mar 2006 Posts: 5 Location: CA
Update!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 03-08-06 15:38pm
Exactly... Everyone knew that he was
cheating on me, except me! And his
sister did not know if he had cheated
within the past year, but she thinks so.
Also...
Update! So.. Last night he came over
at 1:00am when I was in bed. He opened
the door with the key and came and sat
down on the computer desk, next to the
bed. He said" can I talk to you", and I
told him “no. I am sleeping I don’t
want to talk about it.” I don’t know
if it was the smartest thing to say,
but...My brain was shut down. He grabbed
the phone he just bought me and left.
(inside the phone, was pictures of
everything I had done yesterday) for
example: I went shopping with my friends.
The reason why I am so worried about the
phone is because (long story) one of my
friends is dating his nephew. The whole
day she told him that she was with other
people not me! And i’m worried because
I don’t want my problem to get them into
any kind of disagreement. I bet you are
wondering why we wouldn’t just tell them
we were together. It is because we are
immature, and the whole time we were
hanging out her boyfriend was telling us
the situation about robert and the family.
I know it sounds childish, but she
didn't tell him right away when we met up,
so she thought she didnt want to tell him
after he has spilled the beans about the
whole sitution. Plus, it seemed like the
smart thing to do at the time, to get the
low down on when they were going back into
my house to get their things. :x don't
ask I feel like you go to the extreme when
you are hurting!
Anyway...(oh by the way... Robert has
not yet seen the pictures, so we might be
in the clear), but in the mean time,
robert called me this morning and said
"the reason why you broke up with me is
because you didn’t want my sister and
her family here anymore" I told him that
that is not the reason, and that our
relationship is just superficial and based
around lies, and that I am glad that it is
better now.. Only 4 years in than
more..With children. So.. I stupidly
took it upon myself and called his sister
and said" I just want to let you know that
it is not because of you living in my
house, that me and robert are not
together" and she said " oh really I
thought it was, are you sure" (what an
fool!) she really believed that that was
the reason. So he called her and said
"well corie said it wasn’t about that
and I want to know what it was about." so
she said" I told her". Meanwhile she
called me (she'll really dumb!) and was
cursing at me saying" you are a
twoface..Blah blah..And was really
yelling; now my brother is mad at
me..Laalal." I told her "nobody but
yourself brought up your name, you told
him without me even having to say
anything" so... He called me really
upset saying " I want my sister out of my
life, she is just doing it to break us up
and that she doesn’t want us to be with
each other" at that same time she called
my cell phone and said "just tell him I
said it tell him everything" so I told
robert " robert our relationship is bad,
your family is in our lives way too deep,
and I am uncomfortable with you, them, and
the lies." that was at 10:00 am pst. It
is currently 12:40pm, and I haven’t
heard anything from either of them! I am
really lost I feel as if I made a bunch of
mistakes and that this is a big mess.
But more importantly I feel as if I am
correct though. The relationship is
about lies and I should have not been so
naive about it and ended it a long time
ago. I guess everyone learns the hard
way... But what I am afraid of.. Is
that when im here alone, both of them will
confront me and tag-team it. I really
don’t know what to do! This is crazy
and stupid! -help!!! -corie
