Ed And Self Harm, My Story.

Hello people, im new to this site and I just wanted to introduce myself on here as well.

My story goes as followed, I used to self harm my arms with broken glass and after a while I found the process becoming a ritual to any stress in my life, I used to be at school a while back and even though im older now I still get the urge to cut my arms, the stress wasn't even that bad thinking back and it seemed silly, I never told anybody nor did I tell any family members of it, the scars from the cuts have mostly healed to little more than white marks that don't really show up normaly, but some at the top of my arm are red and deep, some people have asked but I just explain I cut my arm on glass when I fell over and caught my arm on a sharp corner of a shelf at home, now about a 6 months on I havn't cut my arms but just the other day I was told by a friend I take too many laxatives, and I don't eat right in the day, now this came as a shock and left me feeling silly at my age of 20, I hadn't realised that I was becoming relient on laxatives to go to the toilet, because of my lack of food throughout the day I began to have constipation, I took laxatives to ease that and now im loosing weight and my friend beleives im taking laxatives because I want to be thin, I don't really but the fact was I wasen't eating due to a slight depression and took them to ease the constipation that was begining to become painful and effect the way I live to the point I wasent going to the toilet for up to days and wouldnt leave the house which in turn makes me more depressed.

I am glad that people are helping me, and im starting to eat properly but now that people have mentioned the facts I feel more vunurable and don't want to eat, I see myself as having nothing to do so if I eat I will gain weight and basicly become a vegetable, the simple fact I was told was that if I don't eat I will get bowel irregularaties and take laxatives again, it has hit me hard and I never realised I was starting to have a problem, I don't think the ed is a result of my self harm but thinking about I always have a feeling of self doubt and incentives to cut, I think the thing is that im very outgoing and lively which recently has began to drain me as ppl have seen, but people don't realise I have depression and harm becasue I am very happy to them all but inside I hurt.

Anyway thanks for reading and I hope to hear some feedback and again hello and I hope to hear and help other people who can help me on this forum in the future :d