Your Take On Responses And Communication...

Important information:

~i am trying to start a home business and a new contact, via im. Her screenmane is not necessarily professional and references 2 of her body parts. She had problems with the methods of payment I used in the first and second experiences in dealing with her and this caused some delay in ordering from her.~

last night my girlfriend was on my computer and saw there was an im from lisa, my contacts real name, stating she wanted to know if I was upset at her and she was sorry and had a :( face on it. My girlfriend, having not known about her or her sn, looked at me a little hurt/jealous/upset and said who was it. I told her it was my new contact. She made a comment about her name and said she was being flirtatous with her im. I did not know if she was talking about the last one I know of (the above one) or maybe sent a new one. I asked her what did she say? She repeated that she was being flirtatous. So I asked her again, what was it she said. This lead to her saying that it wasn't a very professional name and that she was going to delete her from my contact list. She wanted my password to see what our email coorispondance was on the im webiste. I told her she can see it through outlook express, because it would have all of that. She asked me again what it was, and I told her that it would be easier to just click on outlook express adn see it all there. This upset her, because she thought I wouldn't give her my password. I gave her my password and she logged on. There was nothing there that wasn't on outlook express.

Later I asked her why she didn't just tell me what it was she said and played this sort of i'll-tell-you-after-i-feel-comfortable-wit h-your-responses. I expressed to her that it hurt me that she was using this method, instead of just letting me know what she said. She told me that if she responded to my question about what she said, then maybe I could have switched my response and wanted me to say something first, before she said anything, incase maybe I "slipped up."

we both agree this method of communication is more on the slick way of getting information and rather deceptive. It is a way of getting all the facts or supposed facts, before having to "put yourself" out there and ensures your comfort level.

(i.E. "how much would you sell that to me for?"
"well, how much do you want to pay?")

I told her I understood why she reacted that way, but was hurt that she used a tactic for a *method of communication* as opposed to just communicating with me and honestly responding.

Here is where the big problem arises. She appologized for doing it, but thinks that there is nothing wrong with communicating that way. She agrees it is not the best way, but an acceptible way and there is nothtng wrong with it.

I firmly believe that, in a relationship, two people should not feel that it's "ok" to use "alternative ways" to get things and that it is a non-trusting way that does not build trust and keeps a invisible barrier, also perpetuating and solidifing the use of these non-honest ways as acceptible.

Again, I am not arguing her reasoning behind doing it or looking for the psychological reasoning behind why she did it, I know all this, but the "ok-ness" of it going forward.

Is it really ok? Am I over reacting? What's your take...