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Carrie-Lucie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 188
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Dylan Jacob Lost Hios Battle With Life
Posted: 03-11-06 13:03pm
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Last edited by Carrie-Lucie on 04-05-06 11:20am; edited 2 times in total
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 8004
Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
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Posted: 03-11-06 13:18pm
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Oh my god carrie
i'm so sorry, I don't know what to say.
That letter was so touching, i'm sitting
here sobbing :cry: ugh if you ever need
anything i'm here to talk, you're still in
my prayers, i'm so sorry.
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hunterjumper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2005
Posts: 203
Location: British Columbia, Canada
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Posted: 03-11-06 13:32pm
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That's a beautiful letter. Truely
beautiful. Thank you for having the
strength to share it at such a hard time
in your life. I give you major kudos.
I have tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry for
your loss. May you find strength and
beauty in the time you shared together.
Prayers your way. :cry:
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Eyes Wide Shut
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 7892
Location: *UPTOWN*NEW ORLEANS*, La
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Posted: 03-11-06 13:34pm
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I'm sooo sorry for your loss. He is still
with you no matter what....
I'm praying for you and your
husband.......
Sarah
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hopefulmjz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2005
Posts: 4777
Location: , USA
Thanks: 3
Thanked:11
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Posted: 03-11-06 16:30pm
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Carrie, i'm very sorry for your loss. He
may be fading in your memory now, but just
give it time and i'm sure it will be
back....You are going through an extremely
hard time right now. I really wish there
were words to say to make you feel better.
Dylan was extremely lucky to have you for
a mom, and is now a sweet angel looking
down on you, making sure you are safe. Pm
me if you need someone to talk to.
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DaliciaLynn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2005
Posts: 2322
Location: Missouri
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Posted: 03-11-06 17:50pm
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This post brought tears to my eyes.
I've never understood situations like
this...How a little child has to go
through so much, a baby who has never done
wrong.
I don't know what to say, but can only
imagine what you're going through. I look
at my son & can't even think about
anything bad happening to him without
feeling the need to kill myself if
anything ever did.
You have to be really strong, and know
he's in a better place & isn't in any
pain anymore.
Smile everyday knowing he's smiling back.
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snowygirl
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Posts: 807
Location: hawaii
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Omg
Posted: 03-11-06 18:10pm
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Im so sorry for your lost. I feel really
sad reading this post, here I am sitting
down with tears crying. But I know dil is
happy knowing he has such a wonderful and
loving mom who love him so much. I will
keep u in my prayers.
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Jolie_3110
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 1755
Location: Essex, England
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Posted: 03-11-06 18:43pm
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Carrie I am so sorry, your letter is
beautiful, I can not even try to imagine
what you are going through right now, your
story and strength has brought me to
tears.
We are all here to give you support if you
need it, bless you and your partner and
most of all baby dylan.
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michelle1981
Supporter
Joined: 20 Jul 2005
Posts: 7236
Location: Toronto, Canada
Thanks: 7
Thanked:6
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Posted: 03-11-06 18:55pm
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| dalicialynn
wrote: | | smile everyday knowing he's
smiling back. |
that's beautiful!
I'm so very sorry to hear about our little
fighter! My condolences to you and
everyone around him that has been touched
by his short(but never forgotten) life!
Keep your memories close to your heart!
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AshBoBash
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 277
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Re
Posted: 03-11-06 20:34pm
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I'm really sorry
i dont knwo what to say for advice about
that icant imagine how you are feeling
you have my condolences
i'm sorry :(
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oh_mommy
Supporter
Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 3689
Location: vancouver island, bc canada
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Posted: 03-12-06 02:30am
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My heart has dropped, and my eyes have
started to water as I read your letter.
But everything will be ok, even if it
dosnt seem so. He's gone to a better
place where he wont have to deal with
bullies or pressures like drugs. Once day
you can join him and hold him in your arms
again. He may seem like he's gone but he
isnt, he's still where it matters most, in
your heart. Dont ever forget how much he
loves you and he will be watching out for
you just as you watched out for him
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Carrie-Lucie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 188
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Posted: 03-12-06 06:40am
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All of your posts have made me cry, but
not because I was sad - which is a new one
for me these days. It's so comforting to
know that we have so many people thinking
of us in this difficult time. Matt and I
sat here and read this and tears were in
both our eyes as we read each post.
We have to sort out the funeral today -
the hospital have taken it upon themselves
to "help" but really I just wish they'd
leave us alone. They never told us the
truth about dil - we found out yesterday
the 20% chance dil had of surviving was
statistics not the surgeons instinct and
dil had really had no chance of surviving
the post-operative stress and that his
condition was deteriorated so far that
there was really nothing they could do.
Had they told us this we would have asked
for the time rather than the operation I
think. They took the two and a half hours
before our sons death and knew they were
going to fail.
You guys have been simply amazing - there
is no right or wrong thing to say at a
time like this it just helps when someone
says something. All your posts were
beautiful and in a way I feel so lucky
that my life was touched, even briefly, by
my son as so many people never get to have
those precious weeks we had with dil.
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 8004
Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
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Posted: 03-12-06 12:34pm
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Every post you make makes me cry carrie
lol
i'm really sorry you have to go through
this, my heart goes out to you and your
family. But like oh_mommy said, he'll
always be in your heart.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 6594
Location: Planet Tampaxia,
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Posted: 03-12-06 14:50pm
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Carrie I am so deeply sorry
i understand the loss of a child, and I
also understand that as every child is
individual so is the loss felt by the
parents.
I honestly don't know what to say, except
I know nothing can make you feel better
right now.
I hope you choose to stay here, at least
stay in contact.
I know it helped me when oliver died to be
here, although in the early days I didn't
come on much. I found that while the
peopl ein real life I had to becareful not
to upset and had to explain things to them
on here I didn't have to.
If I wanted to scream and shout I could do
it here, I could write posts about what
had ahppened and it really didn't matter
if the reader understood what I said or
not I didn't have to explain it all to
them they just understood my grief.
Take care and I really do hope you choose
to stay in touch.
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sweetlildakota4e
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jan 2006
Posts: 71
Location: greece, ny
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Carrie
Posted: 03-12-06 17:43pm
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Hello,
when I read your post, I couldn't think..
I was dropped in horror but glad to see
that you're brave enough to calm your
child down but the only thing that is
wrong of them is that they didn't tell you
the statics of post tramua stress things.
May we all god bless you and dylan was
grateful of having you as a mother, you're
a great mother. We all cannot possibly
think of what its like to live without a
beautiful child that it was once born into
life.
The letter was beauitful... Made me
sad/teary about your son.
God bless you and your family
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Rodge
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2006
Posts: 905
Location: , England, UK
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Posted: 03-12-06 18:43pm
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Damn, that sucks. I'm really sorry.
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 3173
Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 73
Thanked:104
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Posted: 03-12-06 20:34pm
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Carrie you have my condolences, my lil man
is in icu he has tubes everywhere although
hes a month old its heart wrenching my lil
man is getting stronger but not al of us
are lucky and get to expierence that. I
do wish that you futur kids are healthy
and born at term as I dont know what I
would do without either of my kids, yes,
they drive you nuts but when they go you
miss them tons.
Please take care of yourself and family,
it took me time to post because I was
afraif for my lil man and you post made me
cry best of luck carrie
jess
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Carrie-Lucie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 188
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Posted: 03-13-06 02:33am
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Thank you guys - just a brief update...
We have decided for the funeral that we
are going to have a little wicker bassinet
and are going to have him cremated. This
way we get to take up my aunts kind offer
of making the bassinet she wanted for him,
and also he gets a more nomal feeling
about the funeral.
His ashes we have decided are going to be
scattered off the top of a cliff in port
isaac, cornwall, uk... This is a really
special place for both me and matt as it
is a childhood spot for both of us. It's
also by the sea and the thing I was most
looking forward to about taking dil home
was taking him down to the sea. We were
going to move so he could grow up by it.
It's weird for us at the moment - we're
living in a kind of bubble here.
Everything goes on around us but time
seems to have stopped for our little
family since we lost dj. Again, thankyou
so much for the kind words you have no
idea how much it means to have people not
just avoiding eye contact and mumbling
things under their breath. I guess that's
the joys of being on the internet.
Jess, i'm really sorry for your son, I
will keep him in my thoughts... I really
honestly do hope he gets better very soon,
the nicu is a very scary place to see any
child let alone your own.
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*~Bree~*
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Posts: 77
Location: South, MS
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Carrie
Posted: 03-13-06 09:08am
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Im so sorry. I just hope one day i'll be
a great mommy like you. Just from reading
your posts I can feel that he was your
world and as we all know you were his. Im
a strong believer that everything happens
for a reason I know right now that may be
hard to understand but god has a plan for
you. And maybe little dil just wanted to
meet you but wasn't ready to stay here.
Just keep him in your heart and know you
gave him all your love and that he took
that to heaven. He's prolly up there now
telling all his friends, " look thats my
mommy and daddy." he knew that from day
one. Just keep your head up and know that
everyone here has our thoughts and prayers
with you. God bless you.
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 5041
Location: to hell with this crap
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Posted: 03-13-06 10:09am
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Carrie,
i just wanted to say that I know where you
are right now loosing your little guy.
My husband and I lost our little hunter in
2004. It was really hard and know how
you are feeling right now and the future
looks really dim and not worth living.
Just please know that you need to thrive
knowing that your little man is in a
better place watching over you and your
husband. He is no longer hurting or in
any pain.
The pain of loosing your baby may never go
away, I know that it hasn't for us. I
have just become numb from all the pain.
Now we are expecting a little girl and we
are very happy, but not a day goes bye
that I don't think of him.
May god bless you and your husband. Your
letter was beautiful, much like the one I
wrote to my little one. I buried my baby
with it and a picture of me and his daddy.
Your letter brought tears to my eyes.
I know your pain. I don't believe that
you are going to forget his memory.
You will be in my prayers.
Genipher
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