Absent Father Vs Supportive Boyfriend Posted: 03-14-06 16:07pm
Well im 17 and due in 4 weeks. When I
found out I was pregnant the father of the
baby left me saying it wasnt his. I soon
after got another b/f that I have been
with for about 7 months, the father of my
baby has talked to me about twice during
this pregnancy. I want him to be there
for my baby and he says he will if the
paternity comes back positive. My my now
boyfriend cant understand why I talk to
him, I want my baby to have a father,
cause I never had one growing up. My now
boyfriend has just turned 17 and says he
wants to help. But if the father of my
baby wants to be there than hes going to
b*tch about it all the time. So I dont
know what to do anymore? Please help!
|
Rodge
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Feb 2006 Posts: 905 Location: , England, UK
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 03-14-06 16:09pm
Your father isn't necessarily the man who
ejaculated inside your mother. If your
boyfriend is willing to be a father to
this child, let him. The man who
impregnated you left, after all. He
didn't trust you. He can have weekends.
|
Eyes Wide Shut
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 7892 Location: *UPTOWN*NEW ORLEANS*, La
Posted: 03-14-06 18:07pm
I agree. Anyone can be a father, it takes
a real man to step up and be a dad.
Sarah
|
QueenBee2_3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Posts: 194 Location: CT U.S.
Posted: 03-14-06 18:41pm
The baby is entitled to the financial
support of his biological father. You
can get a paternity test when the baby is
born, but make sure it goes through the
courts. When the baby turns out to be
his, he reimburses the court for the
test.
As for your new boyfriend, he doesn't get
to just move in and take over. If he
plans on sticking around and marrying you
and adopting the baby, then he needs to
show those intentions legally so that the
biological father can legally sign away
his rights.
Y.O.U are the one in control because you
are the one who's pregnant. You have all
these men around you trying to control
what you do and how you handle the
situation, but honestly you shouldn't be
worried with their feelings right now.
The most important concern should be that
baby.
|
~*~Jillian~*~
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 1759 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: 03-14-06 21:09pm
queenbee2_3
wrote:
the baby is entitled to the
financial support of his biological
father. You can get a paternity test
when the baby is born, but make sure it
goes through the courts. When the baby
turns out to be his, he reimburses the
court for the test.
As for your new boyfriend, he doesn't get
to just move in and take over. If he
plans on sticking around and marrying you
and adopting the baby, then he needs to
show those intentions legally so that the
biological father can legally sign away
his rights.
Y.O.U are the one in control because you
are the one who's pregnant. You have
all these men around you trying to control
what you do and how you handle the
situation, but honestly you shouldn't be
worried with their feelings right now.
The most important concern should be that
baby.
so your saying that the biological dad
should take care of this baby ...For one
he denys the child..Probably because he
isnt mature enough to take the
responsiblity for the child...And secondly
he walked out on her and the baby...Why
would a child need to grow up to love
someone like that..He might decide when
the child is three or four that he doesnt
want to be around again..And at that point
its not only going to hurt the mother but
the child also...If her boyfriend is man
enough to be with her during her pregnancy
and tell her he wants to be there for her
and baby ..Then that must show
something...I mean what guy is going to be
with a girl ...And her being pregnant with
another mans child...And him not have good
intentions...I think that she should get
things done legally...So that in the long
run ..The biological dad doesnt butt in
and think he is going to run this childs
life...Because to me he sounds like a
piece of caca ...In the first place to
walk out on his girlfriend/wife...And baby
...And use the lame excuse of "oh its not
mine"....That is immature at its best...!!
If I were in the situation...If the ex
wanted to have some part in the childs
life...Then I would allow it ...But I
wouldnt let him just up and return back
and think he is going to run everything
..In my and the childs life...
|
HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8004 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 03-14-06 21:16pm
Jillian I couldn't have said it better
myself :wink: good point.
My dad was never around either
he's a piece of shiii*t :p
|
Lalee
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jan 2006 Posts: 991 Location: South Carolina
Posted: 03-14-06 21:18pm
I think she meant the biological father
should financially support the baby...
Not take care of it. There's a
difference.
My opinion, just let things flow as they
will. If the biological father wants to
be involved when he is proven to be the
father, then let him. If he doesn't, then
you do what you need to do as a mother. I
didn't have my father around growing up,
and i'm extremely grateful for what my
mother has done for us. I think it's a
greater appreciation for one, when you
become a mother and understand how hard it
truly is to raise a child!
Whatever you choose to do, never hold your
child back from his father, even if he's
the biggest a$$ to you....... Your child
may grow up blaming you for that.
I'm sure you'll do what's best for him.
I hope everything works out for you and
your child.. Best of luck!!!
|
QueenBee2_3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Posts: 194 Location: CT U.S.
Posted: 03-14-06 21:53pm
~*~jillian~*~
wrote:
queenbee2_3
wrote:
the baby is entitled to the
financial support of his biological
father. You can get a paternity test
when the baby is born, but make sure it
goes through the courts. When the baby
turns out to be his, he reimburses the
court for the test.
As for your new boyfriend, he doesn't get
to just move in and take over. If he
plans on sticking around and marrying you
and adopting the baby, then he needs to
show those intentions legally so that the
biological father can legally sign away
his rights.
Y.O.U are the one in control because you
are the one who's pregnant. You have
all these men around you trying to control
what you do and how you handle the
situation, but honestly you shouldn't be
worried with their feelings right now.
The most important concern should be that
baby.
so your saying that the biological dad
should take care of this baby ...For one
he denys the child..Probably because he
isnt mature enough to take the
responsiblity for the child...And secondly
he walked out on her and the baby...Why
would a child need to grow up to love
someone like that..He might decide when
the child is three or four that he doesnt
want to be around again..And at that point
its not only going to hurt the mother but
the child also...If her boyfriend is man
enough to be with her during her pregnancy
and tell her he wants to be there for her
and baby ..Then that must show
something...I mean what guy is going to be
with a girl ...And her being pregnant with
another mans child...And him not have good
intentions...I think that she should get
things done legally...So that in the long
run ..The biological dad doesnt butt in
and think he is going to run this childs
life...Because to me he sounds like a
piece of caca ...In the first place to
walk out on his girlfriend/wife...And baby
...And use the lame excuse of "oh its not
mine"....That is immature at its best...!!
If I were in the situation...If the ex
wanted to have some part in the childs
life...Then I would allow it ...But I
wouldnt let him just up and return back
and think he is going to run everything
..In my and the childs
life...
please reread my op before you jump down
my throat. I said that the baby is
entitled to the financial support of the
biological father. I also reinforced
getting things done legally, even if that
means he signs away his rights if another
man is willing to adopt the baby.
If he's going to act the way he has been,
the courts won't find him entitled to
spend time with the baby until he proves
himself.
|
~*~Jillian~*~
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2005 Posts: 1759 Location: Tennessee, USA
Posted: 03-14-06 22:33pm
queenbee2_3
wrote:
~*~jillian~*~
wrote:
queenbee2_3
wrote:
the baby is entitled to the
financial support of his biological
father. You can get a paternity test
when the baby is born, but make sure it
goes through the courts. When the
baby turns out to be his, he reimburses
the court for the test.
As for your new boyfriend, he doesn't get
to just move in and take over. If he
plans on sticking around and marrying you
and adopting the baby, then he needs to
show those intentions legally so that the
biological father can legally sign away
his rights.
Y.O.U are the one in control because you
are the one who's pregnant. You have
all these men around you trying to control
what you do and how you handle the
situation, but honestly you shouldn't be
worried with their feelings right now.
The most important concern should be that
baby.
so your saying that the biological dad
should take care of this baby ...For one
he denys the child..Probably because he
isnt mature enough to take the
responsiblity for the child...And secondly
he walked out on her and the baby...Why
would a child need to grow up to love
someone like that..He might decide when
the child is three or four that he doesnt
want to be around again..And at that point
its not only going to hurt the mother but
the child also...If her boyfriend is man
enough to be with her during her pregnancy
and tell her he wants to be there for her
and baby ..Then that must show
something...I mean what guy is going to be
with a girl ...And her being pregnant with
another mans child...And him not have good
intentions...I think that she should get
things done legally...So that in the long
run ..The biological dad doesnt butt in
and think he is going to run this childs
life...Because to me he sounds like a
piece of caca ...In the first place to
walk out on his girlfriend/wife...And baby
...And use the lame excuse of "oh its not
mine"....That is immature at its best...!!
If I were in the situation...If the ex
wanted to have some part in the childs
life...Then I would allow it ...But I
wouldnt let him just up and return back
and think he is going to run everything
..In my and the childs
life...
please reread my op before you jump down
my throat. I said that the baby is
entitled to the financial support of the
biological father. I also reinforced
getting things done legally, even if that
means he signs away his rights if another
man is willing to adopt the baby.
If he's going to act the way he has been,
the courts won't find him entitled to
spend time with the baby until he proves
himself.
haha I didnt jump down your throat
...Sorry that I didnt read your post
correctly...I hate when people think im
trying to be rude or jump down their
throat ..Lord its the internet...Its not
like im up in your face screaming ...I was
just typing back ...To your post...Because
I thought you meant something
different...Sorry my bad!!And yes I think
the biological father should pay...Because
its his child...And as for the father
seeing the child ..Yeah if he wants to
then I would let him..But as for him
thinking he is going to come back and
everything go his way...Ummm no ...There
are many children in this world that have
never even met their bilogical parents
...And they are much better off that
way..So maybe this guy shouldnt even have
that chance...He seems like a jerk
..Because I think this girl will make it
better without him ..Or his money..I think
her guy now has a good head on his
shoulders and will help her and the baby
...Without conflict...
|
whyte_kissez
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2005 Posts: 87 Location: Minnesota
Posted: 03-14-06 22:53pm
I just wanted to thank all of you for your
advice. Im young and just need some
advice on what would be best for my
child.. Thank you!
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
