We Don't Have Sex For 20 Days After He Came Back From Hk Posted: 03-20-06 23:52pm
Before bringing up my question, a brief
background about us, I am a chinese girl
from mainland china and he is a german who
lives in london for more than 10 years, he
is 28 and I am 26.
We were dating for almost 7 months, I
believe we are in the stage of a committed
relationship since he told me several
times that he loves me and wants to be
with me. He likes sex which I can tell
from the beginning when we dated. But we
did not have sex almost for 20 days after
he came back from hk for a 10 day
vocation. We used to have sex for 2-3
times because both of us are students,
once we met, almost everytime we had sex.
We now still kiss, making out but he did
not initiate sex like what he did before,
what is wrong? I really want him, how can
I remind him and let him know? I feel so
frustared and hurt since every time when
he wants sex he just comes over, but every
time when I want him, he always has lots
of excuses to avoid it.Yesterday he said
he was really exhausted because of long
time flight, today we met up just for one
hour and half at the cafe which is just
one mile from his place, he did not invite
me to come over to his place and also said
he wanted to go to sleep earlier since he
still feels tired because he got up very
early due to jet lag.
He went to hk just for vocation, what he
did I have no idea, but I knew he hanged
out his single girl and guy friends there.
He remained distant after he got back,
which made me think of something, I feel
hurt and not be wanted.
He never considers my feelings in term of
sex, he even never made me come, every
time he stoped after he came, after I did
for him. I felt I was just his sex toy or
slave.
I really love him but he can not sexually
satisfy me at all, I really work hard on
my patience at his case. I even gave up
self-esteem and told him about my feelings
several times directly before he went to
hk. One night before he went to hk, I
really wanted to stay with him since we
would not see each other for 10 days, he
agreed to spend night together but after I
did service for him, he just wanted to go
home to pack and totally forget his
promise that we both agreed to spend night
together. I told him I felt hurt and by
then he asked me to come over, but when I
came over, he still did not want to have
sex with me, I felt so rejected and
embarrassed. The culture I grow up and my
personality do not allow me to initiate
this again, and I used to be spoiled in my
past relationship, it was never ever
happened in my life and my ex-boyfriends
who never treated me in this way.
Sometimes I think he just takes advantage
of me since he knows that I love him so
much, my mood went up and down every day
and I had already spent too much thinking
and trying to make this relationshp work
out, but it is not mutual anyway. I feel
I can not take more rejections from him, I
was not happy in this relationship at all.
I could not tell him my feelings
again,since I told him about my feeling
before, but he still does not care too
much about my feelings anyway. I do not
want a boyfriend who is too self-centered
and always unavailable whenever I
physically need him. I tried to end this
relationship several times but failed
because I still love him so much. How
could I just end this relationship and get
this over? There are many guys around me
and try to approach me but I rejected them
because I still love this german guy a
lot.
I appreciate any suggestions or feedback,
what went wrong and what I should do.
|
Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 03-21-06 11:26am
Wow,that sounds like my first love,who was
also german.It was the same as you.
However I did not end it,he did by going
back to germany. I know you love him and
all but its not fair to torture yourself
for the sake of staying with someone who
does not acknowledge you and your needs.
1 reason you might get scared of breaking
up with him is tha fact that he might not
chase after you,which was a fear of mine
with my x but it's something you have to
get past in oreder to feel better.There
are plenty of men out there who wil treat
you better and like your worth something!
|
NYC MOTHER
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Mar 2006 Posts: 10 Location: New York
Posted: 03-28-06 16:01pm
Damn do I agree with melissa_20.....If
this guy treats u like crap...Ditch
him....There are other men out there that
will treat u with some resect. But if u
want to know something...Or is suspecting
him of infidelity....Try talking to him.
Ask him whats wrong.....If he met someone
else, or if he did something with someone
he shouldn't have. If he tells u nothing
happend and u still feel like something is
wrong...Take some time off from the
relationship. Try being on ur own, to
try and sort ur feelings out. If he does
admit to cheating on u....U may want to
sit back and seriously evaluate ur
realtionship with this individual and if u
want to stay with him. I personally think
that its better to be alone....Then to be
so very unhappy. If u do decide to leave
don't think of it as ur loosing something
great, but as he is the one who is loosing
someone great. If he didn't know how to
appreciate a good, sincere, and faithful
woman....Then u deserve better....
I hope this helps...Best of luck to
u....I'm sure almost all of us have nursed
a broken heart....U'll find someone
better.... :d
|
sandy78
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Mar 2006 Posts: 81 Location: Cali.
Posted: 03-28-06 16:42pm
Dont waste your time with someone who
treats you wrong. You are still so young
and have so much to offer someone who
would actually appreciate it.
I think a common problem us women have is
staying in a dead relationship too loong
and then regreting that we did. Move on
and the faster you do the faster you'll be
happy.
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