Okay here is my situation. I need to
"bond professionally" with this lesbian as
my boss call it in order to get the job
that I really want. It aint any job but
my dream job. The thing is I really
find it uncomfortable to try to bond with
this lady. She is the kind of lesbian
that is very obvious she is and I kind of
find hard to bypass that she is lesbian
everytime I try to approach her or look at
her. I am not homophobic and it is not
that I look her in any bad way but I would
like to look at her in the way I do to
heterosexual people and I find it
difficult most of the time. It is no
big deal but I would be like to read on
your opinions.
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Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 03-27-06 06:57am
Whether you realize it or not, I think you
just defined homophobia. Why should you
treat her any different?If she's new to
the job, she's probably feeling like an
outsider already. Be the first to extent
a welcoming hand. I mean really, what are
you afraid of? :)
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christy_babe
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 25 Location: US
Posted: 03-30-06 00:28am
spirit
wrote:
whether you realize it or
not, I think you just defined homophobia.
Why should you treat her any different?If
she's new to the job, she's probably
feeling like an outsider already. Be the
first to extent a welcoming hand. I mean
really, what are you afraid of?
:)
I agree with this.
Lesbians are people, just like you. Are
you also uncomfortable around people who
are visibly of another race or religion?
Do you only find comfort around people who
are just like you? If so, it's time to
broaden yourself.
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AvatarOfUrDreams
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 67 Location: Chicago
Posted: 05-17-06 11:04am
Think about it this way...
I know quite a few women and men that
simply scream gay! Guys that dress well,
get manicures, and talk with a lisp yet
are 1000% into women. Chicks that hunt,
camp, dress in boots or burkinstock
sandals, and sometimes even have mullits
yet they are 1000% into guys!
Then people look at me and if they think
about it too long then their heads
explode! I love to hunt and fish and camp
but then I get home and put on that dress
and makeup...No one knows what to think.
People come in so very many variety's that
deciding on anything is a mine field.
And like they said above... What if she
were a jew, or catholic, or black, or
latino, or in a wheelchair? Would that
change how you act around her?
I know that anything that is unfamiliar is
scary but she is just as human as you are
and that is all that matters!
Don't get me wrong... I am really open
minded but still have a hard time around
lots of different people. I went really
racist against blacks for a good week
after my car was broken into, and I have a
horrible time dealing with a few family
members/friends that are total homophobes.
I haven't "come out" or labeled myself or
anything but having to sit there and hear
them go off about their religous beliefs
that say that it is evil is really hard to
do. All I can do is say "you are welcome
to your opinions but you are adding to the
problem." and try to enlighten them that
they are no the only person in the world
and people hate them as much as they hate
gay's!
It will be hard but you just have to learn
to cope with her as you have learned to
cope with everyone else.
Good luck!
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brionnas mama
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2006 Posts: 14 Location: USA
Posted: 06-22-06 11:03am
I agree I hate when ppl label me or my
friends. We are who we are and we cant
help it. We are ppl to so why should we
be treated differently...
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AvatarOfUrDreams
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 67 Location: Chicago
Posted: 06-22-06 11:14am
Oh, and if she or your boss exc. Find out
that you act differently towards her
because she is a lesbian then you could
end up in sensitivity training because you
are discriminating over something that has
no bearing in her work performance...
Stupid, I know… but a possibility…
again, just imagine if she were disabled
or really showed her religion or something
else that makes her “different” then
you…
you would know better then to ask the
question: “i really hate jews or the
disabled exc. How do I deal with her?”
it’s all the same… maybe she doesn’t
like you because of what you are?
(whatever that might be!)
just a thought...
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brionnas mama
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2006 Posts: 14 Location: USA
Posted: 06-22-06 19:29pm
avatarofurdreams
wrote:
oh, and if she or your boss
exc. Find out that you act differently
towards her because she is a lesbian then
you could end up in sensitivity training
because you are discriminating over
something that has no bearing in her work
performance... Stupid, I know… but a
possibility…
again, just imagine if she were disabled
or really showed her religion or something
else that makes her “different” then
you…
you would know better then to ask the
question: “i really hate jews or the
disabled exc. How do I deal with
her?”
it’s all the same… maybe she doesn’t
like you because of what you are?
(whatever that might be!)
