Falling For My Good Friend!? Posted: 03-21-06 12:00pm
Im starting to fall for my close friend
who I have grown up with. We also dated
throughout school on and off and we have
been talking alot alot lately about his
relationship problems with his serious gf
(they were engaged but she called it off
and now hes really thinking about breaking
it off) and hes having alot of trouble
with what hes going to do about her. So
anyway I have great communication skills
and trust me hes taking full advantage but
im starting to question my own motives.
Im having feelings for him again and his
family sort of hints that he might as well
but hes so caught up in his current
relationship right now so I dont want to
say anything now but I really want to keep
talking ot him because I dont want to see
him unhappy. Im single by the way and im
confused as to what to do. Help!
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Jennifer23
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2005 Posts: 76 Location: Texas
Posted: 03-22-06 22:27pm
Well, the last thing you want to do is
catch him on the rebound (even though it
seems a lot easier to do than wait).
Just let him know that you're there for
him if he ever needs to talk and let him
work out his own problems. A broken
relationship is never a pretty thing and
he's, more-than-likely, gonna be unhappy
regardless of what you say or do. I
mean, he was gonna marry this woman for
gosh sakes! There's gonna be a broken
heart that he will need to mend on his own
so he can move on (if that's what he so
chooses). You can still talk to him ...
But do it as a friend without ulterior
motives. Then ... (if the time ever
comes) you can express how you feel and,
possibly, y'all can move forward as more
than just friends. Good luck! :-)
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Kiemister
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 136 Location: ,
Posted: 04-03-06 23:11pm
If you really care for him, you would not
interfere with his current relationship.
Just be tehre for him, talk to him, but
dont indicate u want him back untill the
other relationship is 100% finished.
Otherwise while u are doing him, he may
just get 2nd thoughts.... U dont want
that
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mongirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 93 Location: Michigan
Posted: 04-04-06 15:14pm
Yes your right about that. I make sure
that what I tell him and talk to him about
is what he wants not what I want. I have
tried to get them back together and ive
tried to help him figure out what may have
happened and im just supporting him and I
am not telling him that I have feelings
for him any time soon. Its just hard
being the person that everyone runs to for
help and im left there without anyone. I
want him to be happy but hes not and he
says that he thinks about us being
together and what it would be like so I am
just taking it in im not saying anything
but its just really hard. I wanted to
make sure I wasnt doing the wrong thing.
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Kymmie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2005 Posts: 80 Location: Texas
Posted: 04-04-06 15:29pm
My advice is not to date him. I dated my
best guy friend once and now I hate him.
He promised me that if we ever did break
up things would still be the same between
us but then when he broke up with me (eya
he broke up with me I was crushed) he shut
me off, ocassionally we would hang out but
then he would turn cold the next day,
finaly I started dating my ex again (not
the friend, the boyfriend before him) and
he started calling me a prostitute, b*tch,
all sorts of things behind my back...Which
I didnt get at all because he was the one
who broke up with me.....I dont think this
will necessarily happen to you but its
hard to put back the pieces of a
friendship after youve been through a
relationship becaue when you take that
next step its hard to step back and act as
though it never happened.
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Kiemister
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 136 Location: ,
Posted: 04-04-06 18:50pm
Its a tough decision. Just go with your
heart, but if things dont work out, you
will never wonder "what if I said sumthing
to him" later on in life. At least you
would have found out.
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mongirl
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2005 Posts: 93 Location: Michigan
Update Posted: 04-17-06 11:16am
Ive got newer info this time. The
relationship that my good friend was in is
now over with and he said he now wants to
move on and try to see what happens with
me. He sort of hinted alot that he wanted
to try a relationship with me and so did I
so im not going to get my hopes up but he
says wants to make sure that he is
completely ready to commit to a
relationship with me before he does. That
is just what I want too because I dont
want to rush things and make a mistake but
we have had feels for eachother for a long
time and our families like eachother and
we both think it would work but we are
going to take everything slow. Does
anyone have any advice with the newer
situtation?
