Pregnancy Forum - Should I Stay With My Baby's Father?

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Q: Should I Stay With My Baby's Father?

asked by: aqueeda on March 22nd, 2006

New User

I am 9 weeks pregnant, the baby belongs to my ex who has been away with work, due to arrive back this weekend, we are still very close friends but I refuse to tell him over the phone so im waiting til he gets back. I had a miscarrage last year and he didnt want the baby anyhow, he says when he wants kids he wants to be married and be able to give them their needs and wants and he cant do that right now, he and I both grew up in christian homes and I know that if he felt I was definatly not going to terminate he would be honorable and step up to father hood but I dont know what I want, thinking about it, I cant see a define good point of having a child when the father who I love and loves me would sooner or later marry someone else? I know I could do it but I dont know how id feel if I didnt have a termination, would it be the biggest regret of my life???

Please reply and tell me your opinion.

Rebeka

Replies(8)

Rodge

replied on March 22nd, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

...What about the baby? Do you actually want it, or is it simply a way to get the guy to stay with you?

Melissa_20

replied on March 22nd, 2006

Especially eHealthy

I have heard from a lot of people who terminated that is messed with them emotionally so it may not be good.But do you want the baby?Are you willing to take care of it and make it first in your life?

jaime_elms

replied on March 22nd, 2006

Experienced User

Hi same with my bf, im 19 and well 2months pregnant, he has dumped me :( and left me alone, and said he wud stand by me if I get rid, and we can get nice house, and give it everthing, do u guys agree with him. Im starting to hate the baby beacuse of all the stress:(

Melissa_20

replied on March 22nd, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Don't hate your baby bc he does not want it.Thats no fair b/c it was not the babys decision to be made.If you want to keep it,keep it and tell him you want child supposrt.Go find someone who will respect your decisions and stand by you! : )

Sunflower_pie81

replied on March 22nd, 2006

Extremely eHealthy

First of all it's not the baby's fault that you and your boyfriends arent getting along. You need to think about the baby because you spread your legs and made the baby. It didn't ask to be here.

I dont' have any room to talk because I terminated a pregnancy, (under different cercomstances) and I still have trouble with the emotional rollercoster that it causes. I do dream about it and it ruined my life. I would never choose a guy over a baby. Just because he doesn't want the responcibility....He doesn't have a choice to make like you do. It's easy for them to say get rid of it and i'll be with you the rest of our lives...We will get married...But as soon as they find something better they are gone anyway.

If you don't want the baby, think about adoption.

wannababy25

replied on March 24th, 2006

Experienced User

jaime_elms wrote:

hi same with my bf, im 19 and well 2months pregnant, he has dumped me :( and left me alone, and said he wud stand by me if I get rid, and we can get nice house, and give it everthing, do u guys agree with him. Im starting to hate the baby beacuse of all the stress:(

here's the thing...If he's so insensitive that he dumped you in the first place...What makes you think he'll stay once you aborted the baby?? He probably wants to trick you into getting rid of the baby so he wont have to pay child support for the next 18 years. Meanwhile...You'd have to live with the fact that you 'got rid' of the baby as you put it. I hope you make the right choice.

Best of luck to you and the original poster!

lsipes

replied on March 24th, 2006

Experienced User

It depends on how stable you are *before* the abortion, what affect the abortion will have on you later. For some people, it's a relief. For others they wonder "what if"? You will hear people that went either way. For me, it was kind of both. Mostly relief. The occassional thought crosses my mind where I wonder if I made the right decision, but when it comes down to it, I know I did. And it's pointless to beat yourself up over a decision that cannot be reversed.
If you want the baby, keep it. If you don't, then don't. Sounds simple enough, huh? I know it's a difficult decision but it's yours to make and I wish you the best of luck.

Lalee

replied on March 24th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Just don't let the fact that you and the baby's father aren't going to be together dictate whether or not the baby gets a chance to live. The truth is that nobody really knows how long a relationship is going to last, and there are tons and tons of single parents out there who do just fine. This isn't about you and the father. This is about you and the baby.

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