Joined: 20 Nov 2004 Posts: 209 Location: San Diego, CA United States
Help! I'm the Girl And I'm the One Paying Posted: 03-22-06 18:16pm
Okay girls and guys...I'm almost 18
years...And my current bf is my
second...On my first bf he sometimes pay
for minor stuffs like bus fare but we
share money when we date...Now on my
second bf ...At first he offers to buy me
stuffs but I feel anxious because i'm not
used to making my bf pay for
stuffs...Before there was a time when we
had gone to lunch together...He said he
doesn't have money I looked at him and he
looked hungry so I offered to pay for both
of us since it's just a small amount and I
can't stand eating alone while he's just
watching...But suddenly I think he got the
idea that I would pay for him
everytime...Freom then on, everytime we go
for lunch even dates, even valentines!
I'm the one paying...As a girl w/o
work...It really bothers me...But the
problem is he always doesn't have money
and sometimes when he does he kinda
expected that I will pay since it's like a
routine...I wanted to tell him that I
can't pay forever since i'm a girl and my
money is limited...Plus! I need to save
money to buy stuffs I like (like clothes,
make up, etc.) and lately my mom
discovered the receipts in my wallet and
she got really mad at me...I wanted to
tell my bf but I don't know how!! Please
help!!!
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lynnsie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Mar 2006 Posts: 4 Location: Chicago
Re: Help! I'm the Girl And I'm the One Paying Posted: 03-22-06 19:45pm
Why do not you send him an email to
explain it seriously? I think any man who
really loves you will take care of your
concerns, it is very odd to let girlfriend
pay for lunch everytime, I think that is
the way he does not show respect to you or
does not treat you well as you are a
girl.
Tell him, if he does not agree, move on
and you deserve a better parter.
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pinksalter
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2005 Posts: 124
Posted: 03-22-06 20:58pm
Call me old fashioned but there is no way
a girl should be paying for everything,
period! I`ts ok when your in a
relationship and you buy the odd thing but
it should be some give and take. I think
the guy has no shame to expect you to pay
all the time. I would maybe broach the
subject by maybe spending more time at
places where you don`t have to pay.
Mention the fact that you have no money so
you will have to hang out places which
don`t cost anything, he might suggest to
pay himself if not I would really think
about your future with him, you can`t pay
forever!
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Lauttie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 8 Location: Manchester
Posted: 03-25-06 05:47am
I think that the boy should always pay or
then he pays his
and you pay yours. Just tell him u don't
have money on you. Then if he keeps on
like that, tell him what's your problem.
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Eternal
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Posts: 38
Posted: 03-25-06 18:33pm
It is somewhat unjust that you should pay
- only as a general reason, not because
you are a girl. Why should a girl pay
any less? Is it unfair if he paid for
everything all the time? Of course it
would be, but nobody would care. Of
course, it is more frequent that the man
will offer to pay, and so the man will
tend to pay more often, but I don't see
why it is such a shocking idea that a
woman could be courteous enough to pay
sometimes as well. You should talk
about it, simply for the reason that he
isn't paying and that your money is
limited, not because you are a girl and
having to pay.
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Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 03-26-06 08:35am
You didn't mention whether your bf or
yourself had jobs, so i'll assume you do
not. This would probably figure in my
final answer...That is, if one is making
some dough than they'd probably foot the
bill.
I don't see any problem with a woman
paying(older and wiser)....I enjoy doing
it for someone I love, although he hardly
ever lets me do it.
I think doubts are starting to pile up,
eh? Is he using you?Is it always going to
be like this?Am I buying "love" or
friendship?
Since your both so young, i'd stop, cause
as you said you have set the
"routine"......Why should he change? :)
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miller2190
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2004 Posts: 58 Location: GA
Posted: 04-11-06 22:43pm
Im the cheapest guy youll ever meet, and I
always pay. Does he have a job?
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toocrunkfaya05
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2006 Posts: 49
Posted: 04-12-06 16:36pm
I think u should just tell him in person
if u dont tell him then eh will never know
an dhe will always expect u to pay for
everything. I would tellhim in person so
that he can see how serious u were but if
u cant tell him by email or a letter good
luck.
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p0lkad0t
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 14 Location: NJ,USA
Posted: 04-27-06 18:02pm
It gets me furious when my bf thinks im
gonna be paying for everything..When he
first started going out he would pay for
stuff and actually be patient with me and
small things like that and now he says he
doesnt have to cuz were going out for over
a year and I know the real him. It angers
me off and I dont know how to get him to
pay sometimes..He pays for his gas..And he
thinks its an argument
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lilpinoy52
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Feb 2007 Posts: 12
Posted: 02-12-07 23:10pm
Ok for starters in any relationship...Id
probably be like the guy because im
seriously broke. But, i'm on your side
because there is no way that you can be
the one paying for stuff. Especially on
valentines day!! Well what you do is ask
why he never has money. If he gives some
lame excuse the next time you all are just
goin around and he gets hungry be like,
"well you should have gotten some money."
if he says he has none then say "well then
you should have borrowed from someone else
because im tired of having to pay for you.
Better yet get a job!" or ou could alwayz
leave the last part out lol. If he goes
whining to everyone else let him cause
that will show how worthless/broke he
really is. At the very least this guy
should at least make it up to you. I mean
geeze!!!. Im still shocked that you pay
for valentines day. God this guy owes you
a lot. What would he do without you ya
know?
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Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 02-13-07 07:48am
It does not matter if what sex you are.
Pay your own freaking way in the
beggining. After a while, when you guys
get close and can trust each other more,
then offer to pay for things every now and
then. The guy nor the girl should have to
foot the bill for every thing, all the
time.
There is one exception, if you invite some
one out, then you should offer to pay for
the expenses. You did the inviting in the
first place. However, that works only for
so long.
Personally, if I invited a girl out, and
she did not offer to pay for anything, she
does not get a second invite. Especially,
if I do not get anything back in return,
like not even a kiss good night. She does
not get a call back.
I suggest you tell your bf to either start
paying his way, and buy you a few things,
to make up for the imbalance or you are
going to find some one who is willing to
try to be fair.
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Re: Help! I'm the Girl And I'm the One Paying Posted: 02-20-07 00:37am
Dayumm... 2 boyfriends? and not yet 18?
I'm kidding!
Sharing is a wonderful thing.. and
sometimes, you will just have to crush his
pride, and pay when he is not looking Or in the john!
Dutch is nice too... I used to alternate
with my last ex. He'd pay one date, and
I'd pay next. back and forth. You need to
check that boi right now- I'd say- well..
hope you gots the $$- cause I don't have
nada. HIde it if you have to in your
pockets. This dude needs a lesson..I'd do
more than that...it's 20 oz sirlon steak
time for you! There's one thing- being
kind- then another- being taken advantage
of for your kindness.
I would start this:
You "I can't go out tonight"
Him "Why? I want to go eat out with you."
You "That's just not going to work for me.
I am short on $$."
Him "Whaa..?"
You "Unless you want to treat this time- I
can't swing it this time."
If he says no..then..bye bye. That is
very trashy of him...making you pay for
everything! Not to mention selfish.
You've treated him enough.. he should be
able to alternate - at the very least-
with you!
Dont let this pez walk over you! He needs
to grow up and make some $$--this isn't a
donation bank!
-=Red=-
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Hottness Posted: 02-20-07 00:40am
Makoto
wrote:
It does not matter if what
sex you are. Pay your own freaking way in
the beggining. After a while, when you
guys get close and can trust each other
more, then offer to pay for things every
now and then. The guy nor the girl should
have to foot the bill for every thing, all
the time.
There is one exception, if you invite some
one out, then you should offer to pay for
the expenses. You did the inviting in the
first place. However, that works only for
so long.
Personally, if I invited a girl out, and
she did not offer to pay for anything, she
does not get a second invite. Especially,
if I do not get anything back in return,
like not even a kiss good night. She does
not get a call back.
I suggest you tell your bf to either start
paying his way, and buy you a few things,
to make up for the imbalance or you are
going to find some one who is willing to
try to be fair.
I've missed you and believe it or
not I agree with you!!
That guy should not be expected to do
everything.. I hate when other woman
"expect" that..where is their sense of
pride?
So when are you taking me out lol? [jk] I
want my 20 oz steak!
-=Red=-
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Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 02-20-07 07:39am
I respect any woman who can eat a 20oz
steak. WHen are you free. lol
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RedDelight
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 131 Location: I'm a Yettie!
Posted: 02-20-07 12:45pm
Makoto
wrote:
I respect any woman who can
eat a 20oz steak. WHen are you free.
lol
Like now- medium rare please! lol How
have you been?
-=Red Light Special=-
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Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 02-23-07 10:40am
I have been good. Had some good steak
recently. How are things with you?? You
past problems with your BF. How is that
going. If you dont want to say it is okay.
You can PM me too if you want.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
Or in the john!
