My Stress On Meeting New People Stems From.... Posted: 04-12-06 15:31pm
Im over weight and very shy meeting new
people.... Hate it to be honest.
I am happy my bf loves me how I am and
that took a long time to except.
Ive met his family once over dinner. Was
not comfortable with that situation. Now
its easter and were invited over there
where alot of people will be. Omg im
stressed!!!!!!!!!!!! :oops:
|
tony3595
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006 Posts: 68 Location: IL
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-12-06 16:03pm
Stormy,
you admit that you are oerweight, but you
also said that your bf loves you just as
you are, and his parents accept you just
as you are. You should concentrate on
that while at dinner.
Does your bf know how stressed you are?
Ask him to give you a hand with handlint
this with you. He will stand by you and
help you through the dinner. Trust him,
or try to. It might turn out to be fun.
|
stormyf2
Supporter
Joined: 16 Mar 2006 Posts: 146 Location: Canada
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Thanks Posted: 04-12-06 16:15pm
Good advice and I do trust my bf . I just
am not comfortable with new people,
although I do work with the public. Thats
just different. I need to focus on
something. Maybe deep breathing might
help oh man im such a stressed out person.
He says worry is my middle name!!! Haha
|
tony3595
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006 Posts: 68 Location: IL
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-12-06 16:27pm
Good show. Focus on your bf, and think
about the love you have between you. With
this as your focus you can receive two
benefits, reduced stress and great
thoughts of love. Who is better than
you.
I do expect a reply on monday. Focus -
focus - focus
|
stormyf2
Supporter
Joined: 16 Mar 2006 Posts: 146 Location: Canada
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
4 Sure Posted: 04-12-06 16:43pm
Will give u the results on monday or
tuesday gotta go to my parents on monday
oh goody! Kinda nervous bout that
to but no as nervous!
Thanks for your support!
|
worrier4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006 Posts: 17
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-12-06 17:35pm
I also got very excited in public
situation especially public speaking. I
almost quit my job. It is difficult for
me to control it. Does anyone know some
good herb/medication/ to calm you down
when you need to give a speach. I think I
need something strong. Appreciate your
help?
|
tony3595
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006 Posts: 68 Location: IL
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-12-06 22:12pm
Hey, I was there when I first started out
in my career. I went from material
control to marketing because I was
"bored". Well, I didn't think the
requirments was to speak in public.
Before I gave my first presentation in
front of the management team (4 people), I
threw up from the night before up until I
walked into the confernece room. White as
a sheet, bags under my eyes, knees
knocking together (am I painting a good
picture for you yet). I stumbled and
stuttered my words out even though I knew
them like the alphabet. When it was over,
I hugged the toilet like it was the only
love I had in my life.
From there, I learned how to deal with my
feelings. I had to because this was going
to be a part of my life for the rest of my
career. This is what I learned:
1. You are the expert. If not, you
wouldn't be standing there.
2. Perpare. Not only on the topic you
are covering, but also try to get others
to give you ideas of what type of
questions might be asked and prepare.
3. Look good. Internal confidence
builder. If you think you look good, your
confidence level raises 500%.
4. Humble. If someone asks you a
question out of the blue and you don't
know the answer, it is not a sin to say
that, and don't appologize. Take their
name and number and when you get the
answer, you will get back with them. (if
others in the crowd ask for you to get
back wtih them, pass a sheet around asking
them to put their phone or email address
on it, and you will get back with them)
5. Defuse confrontations quickly. This
is tough, but you are in control, not
them. If you feel that they are out of
control, they are invading on your
territory. Shut them up or move on.
6. Gratitude. Thank your audience for
their attention. They were patient with
you, and you hopefully gave them something
that interested them.
It took me about a year to develop a form
or comfort. It took me another year to
build the anti-fear factor to talk in
front of 20 people. It took me another
year to be able to speak in an auditorium
(100+). After that, give me a microphone
and I will talk about anything that I
believe in to as many people as you want.
The key words are "anything that I believe
in".
It is not how many people you speak to, it
is the message you are trying to get
across. If you believe in it, you can say
anything to any number of people.
Most importantly - no medication - just
determination and realization, this is
what I have to do for a living.
Soap box has left the building.
|
worrier4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006 Posts: 17
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-13-06 08:08am
Thank you very much for your reply.
That's exactly how I feel (trembling,
shaking, fear, rubbery legs and more).
However, my problem is that I have
confidence and that I know the subject. I
am not afraid that I am not gonna know to
answer the questions or so, I am just too
obsessed with my fright stage and the only
thing I think about is :“ god, people
will see that my voice is shattering, I am
trembling....”. So, it is not like
usual that I dont have confidence but 98%
of the time I think about this fear or you
call it. I know I need to work on it,but
when you are at this stage you really
think that you need something to relax
you and keep you so until you get used to.
Thats terrible feeling, and it really
ruins your life. I am happy there are
people here who share the same problems
and we will find the solution. Once I
was thinking lets get up and tell them hey
I have public speaking problem-social
phobia, and see how I would behave then.
|
tony3595
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006 Posts: 68 Location: IL
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-13-06 08:50am
Sometimes being honest and open is the
best policy, if you know your audience.
Repetition was my only method I used.
That was before the time of medication for
relaxing. I have to say, it was great for
my weight control, but not on my nervous
system.
My voice shook and cracked often and to
top it all off, I was a profuse sweater,
so there was not way of hiding the fact I
was nervous. Not a pretty sight.
You might want to talk to your doctor to
see if he would recommend anything. I am
not aware of anything otc. Make sure it
will not have the reverse effect and hit
you too hard where your relaxed state
effects your presentation or become
addictive.
If I find out anything else, I will let
you know.
|
stormyf2
Supporter
Joined: 16 Mar 2006 Posts: 146 Location: Canada
Thanks: 0
Thanked:0
Hi Posted: 04-24-06 08:34am
All went well... Stayed calm. Ate dinner
and stayed quiet but did well over all.
Thanks 4 your replys!
The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealthForum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealthForum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made.
Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on April 1, 2008
