Teen Pregnancy Forum - Bad Habit!!!!!!!!


Bad Habit!!!!!!!!

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DaliciaLynn

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Joined: 29 Jul 2005
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Location: Missouri

Bad Habit!!!!!!!! Posted: 04-13-06 01:50am


Bray is driving me insane. I think i've spoiled him too much. When I put him down for a nap he wakes up like not even 2 minutes later and does this throughout the day!! I have this one thing, it's a foam pad (for babies) with 2 side things on each side so he won't roll over or etc, and i've been putting it in my bed with me. I'm not sure if he's spoiled because of that comfort, or if he's just been a whiney little sh*t. What the heck am I gonna do, he's ruined! =(

Kia

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Posted: 04-13-06 03:26am


You can not spoil a baby with love.

Melissa_20

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Posted: 04-13-06 07:04am


If you mean he's been sleeping with you in your bed,that probably did spoil him.My older sister slept on the couch with her baby on her chest(the doc said it was bad but she didn't care) for 3 or 4 months and when she wanted him to sleep in his crib,he would cry and would not sleep in it.Finally she would just gave him a bottle and upt him in there and he wouls whine but eventually he fell asleep. . .

hopefulmjz

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Posted: 04-13-06 13:05pm


D, i'm having the same sort of problem with adriana. She wakes up right after I lay her down for daytime naps, but if I lay down with her in my bed she'll sleep 2 or 3 hours. It doesn't matter where else I put her she doesn't want to be there. At night tho, she will sleep for a 2 or 3 hour stretch in her bassinet. Sunday she was awake all day, literally. So about 9pm I gave her a bath and fed her and she slept either 4 or 5 hours after that...In her bassinet. But during the day she doesn't want to sleep. She loves her swing now, and lately if she falls asleep in it, she stays there cuz otherwise she gets sooo tired. Maybe that would work with bray if he's got a swing.

Melissa_20

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Posted: 04-13-06 13:08pm


Yes I never thought of that.My sisters newborn falls asleep in her rocker thingy too.They take her out of it though and put her in her car seat cause she don't like her crib

hopefulmjz

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Posted: 04-13-06 13:12pm


Adriana likes to go for car rides, and almost always falls asleep....So when we get home I don't even attempt to take her out and lay her down cuz she's just gonna wake up and get really pissed off. She's got quite the attitude, and lets you know when she's pissed! It's so cute tho

~*~Jillian~*~

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Joined: 01 Feb 2005
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Re: Bad Habit!!!!!!!!
Posted: 04-13-06 14:07pm

dalicialynn wrote:

bray is driving me insane.

I think i've spoiled him too much. When I put him down for a nap he wakes up like not even 2 minutes later and does this throughout the day!!

I have this one thing, it's a foam pad (for babies) with 2 side things on each side so he won't roll over or etc, and i've been putting it in my bed with me. I'm not sure if he's spoiled because of that comfort, or if he's just been a whiney little sh*t.

What the heck am I gonna do, he's ruined! =(

jace does the same exact thing...He sleeps longer if I hold him longer...And then let him get to sleep..Like a really deep sleep then lay him down and I always bundle up blankets on each side of him ...To make him think im laying next to him...He always sleeps longer at nap time...So you could try that! :wink:

Jolie_3110

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Joined: 04 Dec 2005
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Posted: 04-13-06 17:08pm


Jillian I used to do that with aydan... I was still cuddling him to sleep when he was 2!! Then when he got a proper bed I had to stay beside him till he had gone off! Needless to say I had learnt my lesson by the time baby no2 came along lol!

hunterjumper

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Joined: 18 Dec 2005
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Location: British Columbia, Canada

Posted: 04-13-06 19:36pm


You can't spoil a baby, at all. No matter how much you cosleep, nurse, how many toys they have. Some babies sleep well from the start. Some babies don't. All babies change and one day babies who sleep well might suddenly stop. And parents always get all high and mighty and say it's because of their parenting or discipline techniques. It's not. Brayden is going through a phase right now and it's separation anxiety. They all do it and it comes and goes. My 5 week old nephew is doing the same thing. As did my son at around that age. The worst thing you could do right now would be to change something just because you're frustrated. He's anxious enough and it would make him even more scared and cranky. It's frustrating but eventually they all wean and move in to their own beds and sleep through the night. I coslept and nursed on demand and basically held my son night and day until he was 7 months old and he moved in to his own bed. If he can do it, all your babies can too. :-)

diamondsz

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Posted: 04-13-06 19:56pm


You can spoil a baby....The nurses say you cant but omg I learned with elisa the hard way, when I was trying to break certain habit which was pure hell, it took 4 months to set her in place and she became more indepedant. I let cameron cry if I did the feeding,burping,diaper change etc I put him down he cries for about 8 mins and passes out. I wish I would have done that with elisa, elisa would scream and I would run right away to her and then she would never sleep the first month I beleieve in not letting them cry long but after 2 months "d" give hime some time alone they need to learn to comfort themselves they need to become indepedant. Im not saying do this all the time, im just starting to get cam to sleep later during the night cause im working again and I have no choice so anyways its your choice but I believe a child can be spoiled. Btw they dont recommend co-sleeping especially if you smoke just as fyi but my motto is were the mothers and we know what is doing it best for our children, its not someone else raising our kids its us!!

hunterjumper

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Joined: 18 Dec 2005
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Posted: 04-13-06 20:20pm


You can't spoil a baby. You can spoil an older child, sure. I'd say maybe...8 or 9 months and up and they're starting to figure out they can get things by crying even when nothing is wrong and such. But certainly a baby of that age cannot be spoiled. It will not turn into a 20 year old that is still cosleeping with you just because you hold it a lot when it's like 5 weeks old. A baby has no long term memory whatsoever before like 14 months. They forget things after like 10-20 minutes. So of course they can't sit and think "well gee, mother held me a lot yesterday. I guess the world is safe. I'll just sit quietly from now on." it is important to set boundaries but I think too many mothers do it far too early and forget that a mother's main role is to nurture. Like I say, it's all personality. You can have two kids and do the same thing with both and one might turn out clingy and one might be indepedent. I personally did everything that you would consider "spoiling" my son from the time he was born until he was 7 months old. And yet, he's slept through the night pretty much from 7 months on. He went from cosleeping to crib sleeping in his own room with zero problems, form the very first night. He weaned at 13.5 months with almost no problems. He's now an almost 16 month old and perfectly normal. So where's all this "you can spoil" nonsense where he's suppose to be all scared and still cosleeping and nursing for like the next 16 years since I didn't toss him in his own room and ignore him til he behaved better from the time he was like 5 weeks old? :wink: i re-iterate. Some babies do sleep well and some don't. It has little to do with how much they're held or what you buy them.

michelle1981

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Posted: 04-13-06 20:51pm


Imo, children at any age can be spoiled. It's especially hard when it's your first. They are like your guinea pig! You try to do everything right, but you really never know if it is.

SamanthaM

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Posted: 04-13-06 21:27pm

michelle1981 wrote:

imo, children at any age can be spoiled.

It's especially hard when it's your first. They are like your guinea pig! You try to do everything right, but you really never know if it is.

in a book i'm reading, it says it's not possible to spoil a baby until they are over 3 months. Think about it, before they are born you are "holding" them 24 hours a day. Even if you held your newborn 12 hours a day that is still alot less than before.

diamondsz

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Posted: 04-13-06 21:31pm


You can nuture a kid in different ways, if you pick up a 2 month old everyday for a week and put him down for a break on 1week1day that kids is going to scream because he is used to a certain habit take... A child can be spoiled at any age but I think at the first month their too young to be let screaming all day young, my son cries cause hes bored almost all day im sorry but I need to take a shower, I need to p!Ss so he can cry for 10 minutes and I dont doing it guilty at all. Look at the children now and back when our parents where younger, the ones that are spoiled and allowed to walk all over thei parents are the f*ck ups we have in society today, the bullies, the gangs etc yeah there are good ones but that applys to small percentage of any group there will always be good people. My mother gave us all love never picked us all the time and there is absolutly nothing wrong with me emotionally or my sibling, every child demands a certain level of attention but im not going to sit there the way ur suggesting and cater to my son when all his basic necessities have been met! Michelle is right children can be spoiled I have parenting books in french in english that refer to this babies/toddler/kids arent stupid they know how to wrap us around their pinky so I start early you only have till age 4 to discpline you kids/ teach them basic moral etc... Ill quote books if you want I have nothing to hide and I dont think I have left one book unturned since I have alot of time on my hands(because of more indepedant children)

diamondsz

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Posted: 04-13-06 21:36pm

samantham wrote:

michelle1981 wrote:

imo, children at any age can be spoiled.

It's especially hard when it's your first. They are like your guinea pig! You try to do everything right, but you really never know if it is.

if that is the way you feel then do it but do not sit here and tell "d" what is right and wrong im referring to personal expierence but every baby is different just as the parents and parenting style!! One child is easy two is harder until you are in the shoes of a mother you will never understand the full concept of kids. Babysitting does not count as a being a mother because you arent the one that kids is with 24/7, they arent screaming in ur ear but the mothers ear.........

SamanthaM

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Posted: 04-13-06 21:42pm

diamondsz wrote:

hmm...I don't seem to recall trying to tell her what is wrong or right. I was simply stating what the book says. What are you talking about babysitting for? No one said anything about anything like that.

DaliciaLynn

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Posted: 04-13-06 22:40pm


Jillian, I do that to bray aswell and he still wakes up! Brayden hates car rides, he never goes to sleep. I think you can spoil a baby at any age, brayden will be 6 weeks tomorrow and if you don't call my situation not being spoiled then I don't know what is lol.

rasuyoung

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Posted: 04-13-06 23:14pm


Hmm... Dalicia, did you ever try putting him down for a nap with a fan blowing? That helps a lot of babies fall asleep. Of course, it's yet another habit that's hard to break... I actually even use the sound of a fan to fall asleep... My bf bought me a cd for babies that has sounds of soothing things to make them fall asleep... blush it works though! Good luck :)

DaliciaLynn

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Posted: 04-13-06 23:22pm


He has a cd, his lullabys that he likes a lot, but only when he doesnt feel good, when he just wants to be held or etc then he'll scream until he gets his way, same with putting him down to sleep, he'll wake right up and cry unless i'm right next to him, he'll even keep peeking for a while when he's half way out of it to see if i'm still there and if i'm not he'll wake up and whine!!

hunterjumper

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Posted: 04-14-06 00:39am


Dalicia, my son was exactly the same. He would scream and cry as soon as you put him down, even if you had just held him for 3 hours, 6 hours, 12 hours. I think at around 5-7 weeks they start getting separation anxiety. They've started being more "quietly alert" by that point and have realized that mom tends to disappear sometimes, when they close their eyes. So they get fussy and refuse to sleep unless it's near you. It usually passes within 3-4 weeks or so. From experience, the best thing you can do is tend to him as much as possible. Obviously yeah...People have to use the bathroom and shower and such but if you can wait to shower or do longer things until someone else can hold him it's better. I've seen babies that were going through that separation anxiety and left to cry for long periods of time a lot and they tend to take a lot longer to get over that anxiety. Might last for like 2 months instead of like 3 weeks for a baby who was tended to all the time. That's just what i've seen though. I "spoiled" my son and he's now a completely unspoiled toddler who loves to share and is fairly adventurous and loves to go out with his grandma and aunt and dad without me...So shrug. We found a swing really helped. Those baby einstein dvds are also really good. Or going for walks with him in a stroller. He was never much for car rides either. Have you tried one of those snuglis or a sling? They can be awesome for small babes and let you be hands free as well so you can go about your business. Good luck. :-)