Sexual Health - Men Forum - What Is My Orientation? ( Long Description)

Hi,

im 25 year old guy. Im 5 9" tall, about 73 kg weigh, and moderately hairy.

My problem relates to my interests in various sexual activities.

From my childhood, I liked to show my privates to other people without showing that im doing this intentionally. Mostly I wanted to show them to old men and women. I prefer showing my penis as well as backside. These things happened since I was around 10 years.

When I was around 14 years, a guy ( aged around 25 – 30 ) started to use me for his sexual fantasies. Initially this included only touching and similar things with clothes on, but later changed to serious activities. From the start I liked to be with him but not allowed him to do any serious things. How ever after some time, we even started to have anal sex ( I was the receiver ). I liked this very much and we did it for around 3 times a week.

This continued until my age reached around 23, where I was changed so much physically (basically I became more hairy, little fat, etc) and he stopped seeing me. (but I still wanted it ). I don’t think he is gay, because he didn’t love me. He is married and having kids. I think his wife is not wild enough to satisfy him.

Similarly, I never loved him. I always wanted to sex with him, and always wanted to play the female role. Generally I never feel romantic about men, but always like to do sex with matured men, playing the female role. (however I never had sex with any other men). With them, I liked being very wild and liked to do anal sex, sucking, ass spanking on me and some fetish and bsdm activities.

I love girls. Mostly I like very slim and tall girls and I visualize having sex with them most of the time I masturbate. Things I visualize are perfectly straight.
Similarly I love matured and wild women. Still I like only slim ones and the sexual things I visualize about mature women while masturbating is quite different from that for girls. With girls, I visualize things like kissing, hugging, licking her privates and anal/normal sex with her. With mature women, I mostly visualize very wild things like anal sex, anal fisting, anal licking and some fetish and bsdm activities.

In addition to girls and mature women, I also think about mature men doing with me while masturbating. Things are little wild as in mature women here, where I think about anal sex, licking anal, fisting and sometime activities related to fetish and bsdm.

Apart from being with that guy, I have had real sex with several women, all prostitutes. I never had a chance to meet a prostitute with the figure I loved ( slim, clean, shaved). And all of these prostitutes wanted just the money and were not willing for hot sex. In almost all cases I was very disappointed ( had almost no pleasure) because I wanted to give them some pleasure by licking, kissing, etc but they never responded positively. Some didn’t allow me to touch their privates even. Therefore still I never had a chance of being with a girl or a women who is slim, tall and hot and willing for sex, so im still not quite sure whether I can get a good pleasure by being with them.

Sometimes I use a dildo and simulate sex with a mature man by my self.

In summery here is my situation.

I never love men, only girls. In-fact I go nuts when I see gay lovers.
I love girls, and I love to have romantic sex with them. Definitely this will also involve anal sex.
I love mature women and love to have wild sex with them. This might involve fetish and bsdm.
I love to be with matured men and play the female role. I like to be very wild with them. This might involve fetish and bsdm.

I like things like ass spanking on girls and love to do that on slim girls. Similarly I love to be spanked by mature men.

If some one gives me a slim girl or a women together with a mature man to select from, i’ll definitely go for the girl or women.

Still I don’t have a girl friend. I’m looking for a good one these days.

Now my questions is ,
am I gay? ( specifically a gay bottom?)