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Jako188
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 15
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Problems
Posted: 04-17-06 19:40pm
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Hi everyone,
my girlfriend and I have been dating for 3
years now... I got her pregnant in
december and it ended in a miscariage...
Ever since then she has been wanting to
get pregnant again. When I first found
out she was pregnant I was terrified and I
wanted her to get an abortion , but then
we talked and I told her I wanted to keep
it ( and like I said at the beginning a
couple weeks later she had a miscariage
).... I just dont know what to do and
what to tell her.... I say what ever
happens happens.. She is on b-control
right now and im only 18 and she is almost
17.
Any advice on this situation.....
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Jako188
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 15
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Posted: 04-17-06 20:03pm
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Thanks ... I needed that kind of advice
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DylanJacob
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559
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Posted: 04-18-06 05:31am
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| sandralynn
wrote: | | you're young.. Act it.
Be stupid.. Get tattoos... Go bungee
jumping.. Cow tipping.. Make prank
phone calls.. Teepee your neighbors
house.. Flush all the toilets at ur
school at once.. Stuff an orange in ur
principals tail
pipe.. |
ha ha - young people can make good parents
though! But only when they are .B.O.T.H
ready (otherwise not so)
talk to her about it.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 04-18-06 06:48am
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[quote="sandralynn"]wait wait wait wait
wait.....
Finish school... Go to college get a
degree... Get a good job... Support
the two of you financially .... Get
married... Establish a home, a savings
account...
You're young.. Act it. Be stupid..
Get tattoos... Go bungee jumping.. Cow
tipping.. Make prank phone calls..
Teepee your neighbors house.. Flush all
the toilets at ur school at once.. Stuff
an orange in ur principals tail pipe..
My point is.. Shes 16.. Ur 18.. Live
it up. Dont worry about kids right now.
You have the rest of your life to do
that. Take advantage of the fact that
you can sleep a whole night thru without
having to stumble into the kitchen at 2 am
to make a bottle and end up with coffee
instead of formula. Its not easy staying
up all night with a newborn. They are
also expensive. I spent over $1000
before my son was born, and I still didnt
have everything. And they grow out of
all that within 2 months and you gotta
spend .M.O.R.E. Money on clothes...
Then comes the food.. And diapers...
And wipes.. And doctor apointment...
And medicines..
I liked your asdvise sandra.I think it
would put almost anybody's thoughts into
perspective! Lol
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 04-18-06 13:34pm
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Lmao,how old are you,if you don't mind me
asking?
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 04-18-06 13:42pm
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Oh shut up! You are not old.I'm only 3
years younger than you.I don't think your
old until about 60. . .Then your old,but
then again it depends on how you think.My
b/f's dad is 52 but he said he still feels
like he's 35!
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notafan
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2006
Posts: 95
Location: pa
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Re: Problems
Posted: 04-18-06 13:50pm
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| jako188
wrote: | hi everyone,
my girlfriend and I have been dating for 3
years now... I got her pregnant in
december and it ended in a miscariage...
Ever since then she has been wanting to
get pregnant again. When I first found
out she was pregnant I was terrified and I
wanted her to get an abortion , but then
we talked and I told her I wanted to keep
it ( and like I said at the beginning a
couple weeks later she had a miscariage
).... I just dont know what to do and
what to tell her.... I say what ever
happens happens.. She is on b-control
right now and im only 18 and she is almost
17.
Any advice on this
situation..... |
yes - if you must continue to engage in
sexual intercourse, use condoms to protect
yourself, because if she really wants a
baby, she'll lie about being on birth
control. Saying "whatever happens,
happens" is a bad way to go through life,
especially when it comes to something as
important and life-altering as
childbearing.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 04-18-06 13:53pm
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Ah,thats hight school,your on to bigger
and better things now! : )
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 04-18-06 14:04pm
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Lol,it happens! You know what I was
thinking about? If I had a kid I would be
keeping track of how old they were and
probably forget how old I was,lol
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 04-18-06 14:22pm
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Oh pshh! Lol but your wiser!
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rasuyoung
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 464
Location: Long Island, NY
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
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Posted: 04-18-06 15:25pm
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Have you explored why your girlfriend
wants to have a baby so badly? It could
be that her miscarriage has caused her to
suffer from a sort of post-traumatic
stress disorder. She might be struggling
with the loss of the fetus and thinks that
another pregnancy will help "compensate"
the one that was lost. I think it's
advisable for you to broach the subject as
gently as possible with your girlfriend,
and encourage her to seek therapy in the
matter if she hasn't already. It would
certainly be understandable if she needed
some outside help from a therapist.
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Jako188
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 15
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Posted: 04-18-06 20:54pm
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My girlfriend and I talked last night
about the situation. We got into a really
deep convo about the whole topic on
pregnancy. Anyways she told me that when
she really thought about it she knows she
isnt ready. I think its the fact that the
pregnancy ended in a miscariage. I love
her with all my heart and soul and the 3
years ive been with her has been amazing.
She is staying on b-control and we are
going to use a condom. I think we just
really needed to sit down and talk about
the whole thing.. To this day she still
crys randomly and cant be around babys
cause she will start to cry ,but I think
we are going to talk to someone about it
and try to move on because I think we have
been at a stand still in our relationship.
We are now both ready to move on.
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Jako188
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 15
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Posted: 04-18-06 21:34pm
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Lastnight we had along talk about the
whole situation... We really needed that
talk. She told me a lot of deep things...
Im really happy that she finally came out
and told me everything. I think we are
going to talk to someone about the
miscariage because I think she never got
over it. I love her with all my heart and
soul and so does she. I cant see myself
with her anymore. She told me she knows
its not right to have a child because she
wants the child to be brought up in a
healthy enviorment ( stable loving ect) I
just wanted to let you all know where we
are at right now.... We saw eachother
today ( at school ) and we were so much
closer I feel like she is becomming
herself again and it makes me so happy!
Anyways just wanted to let you all
know...
Thanks everyone for all of your comments
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 04-19-06 07:41am
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| sandralynn
wrote: | | yeah as wise as a talking
watermelon on
crack. |
lmao!
I think if I got preggy right now(highly
doubtful since i'm on b/c) I wouldn't feel
ready but I would keep it.I want to go to
college but I could still do that
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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lsipes
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jan 2006
Posts: 325
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Posted: 04-19-06 15:15pm
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| sandralynn
wrote: | | what she needs (what they
both need) is a college education and some
structure in their life before persueing a
family. |
i think we'd all agree with that but it's
a very good point. I'm sure the first
pregnancy was unexpected, but sometimes
when it ends in tragedy there's a void
that needs to be filled, which could
explain why she wants to get pregnant
again (whether it's the smart thing to do
or not). I think he needs to talk to her
about all of the issues.
By the way, you're not that old. I'll be
25 in a month. :) 3 year old son,
divorced, graduated high school 8 years
ago. I f.E.E.L o.L.D!!!
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rasuyoung
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 464
Location: Long Island, NY
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
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Posted: 04-19-06 16:14pm
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Jako, i'm glad you talked with your
girlfriend and that you two made such a
mature decision. All the best to you two.
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Jako188
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 15
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Posted: 04-19-06 16:24pm
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Yeah thanks! We feel better now... I
mean she still kind of crys when she see's
mothers with there children and everytime
we talk about a baby or the miscariage she
will cry... I feel bad though that I
wasnt there for her enough during the
miscariage so I think that is a factor on
why she is so hurt..... And yes she is
useing her b-control she is having her
period right now but then we are useing a
condom and she will be on b-control ( lol
). Anyways thanks everyon!
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Jako188
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Dec 2005
Posts: 15
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Posted: 04-19-06 16:32pm
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Whoops I didnt proof read well I ment to
say I cant see myself without her anymore
( meaning I want to be with her forever I
love her so much ) sorry that didnt come
out right ( lol )
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