Help!!! I Just Want to Die Posted: 04-18-06 06:03am
My mind's going crazy thinking what I have
just done. I think my mum's partner might
have left her because of me!!! She has
been seeing him for bout 3 years but I
never wanted to meet him, cos I thought
his job was not good enough for my mum.
Recently mum suggested I meet him finally
and had a plan that the three of us live
together!!! I hate the thought of living
with a stranger but also the thought that
my mum will be alone!!! He told mum the
other day there was no point continuing
and I became so paranoid and depressed
about it...Cos I think that because of me
mum will be by herself forever. I thought
mum could do better than him...But now i'm
so desperate that he not leave my
mum...Wish he stays...I don't know what to
do, my life is so darn complicated, wish I
could run away and start from scratch
somewhere else...Just love my mum so much,
she is the only family I have in this
world.
|
tony3595
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2006 Posts: 68 Location: IL
Posted: 04-18-06 09:24am
I can understand how you feel about being
protective of the ones you love the most.
Sometimes this protective feeling plays a
bigger part of life than you would like.
You want the best for your mum and want
her to be happy. The one thing that we
all want for our loved ones.
Can you talk honestly with your mum about
what is going on? Open up to her and let
her know how you feel, and encourage her
to be honest with you on how she feels
about you and her friend. Talking is the
best way for finding out the truth and get
to know the feelings involved.
Talk and let us know what happens.
|
Spirit
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 387 Location: Canada
Posted: 04-18-06 20:56pm
Tony's right....Talk with your mom and let
her know how you feel. Maybe the guy's
just taking a breather....And once he
knows your cool with the relationship
he'll make an appearance. If not.....He
probably wasn't the right one anyway.
And by the way....Something you'll learn
as you get older and wiser....The job
doesn't make the person....It's their
kindness...The person who just by knowing
makes you feel like a better person. :)
|
loopy-one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 19 Location: UK
Posted: 04-28-06 04:32am
Hi there hun. Don't blame yourself for
this, i'm sure it is not all down to you.
People make decisions for all kinds of
reasons, partly to do with what is going
on for them not just other people's
pressure or reactions. I'm sure it is not
all down to you, if at all.
Your mum maybe will manage being "alone"
better than what you anticipate, and she
has you so she is not totally alone
anyway!
It is only natural to feel defensive and
anxious about new people coming into our
lives especially when it is beyond our
control and when it is sharing a house
with someone new!! That is a big step for
anyone to take and it is only natural it
has worried you somewhat. Don't feel
guilty, it is your emotions natural
defenses acting out.
I agree with the others about talking to
your mum about how you feel. Make it
clear you really want her to be happy but
you feel a little afraid and worried
because you don't know this guy like your
mum does, and you need to feel safe and
comfortable too as well as she does. And
also explain you are worried for her to,
that she may get hurt etc. (you can do
the same if a new man comes along etc).
Don't worry, your reactions are very
common and only natural, you're not being
selfish or nasty. (i work with teenagers
and come across these types of situations
a lot!)
good luck, let us know how you get on.
Loops x
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