Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8004 Location: Missouri, United States
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Friend Drinking And Doing Drugs While Pregnant Posted: 04-18-06 16:19pm
One of my friends is about 4 1/2 months
pregnant, and she smokes a lot! She still
gets drunk, and the other night she was
"going" to do drugs, until my other
friends yelled at her for it.
It just makes me mad because she always
says "oh yeah im gonna be a good mom, im
such a good mom blah blah blah" but she
neglects her baby already, and he or she
isn't even here yet! Shes around weed all
the time, seriously smokes like a pack of
cigaretts a day, gets drunk off her ass
quite a bit, and has done extecy (sp?) and
shrooms and some others. It makes me so
upset, because that baby has potential,
just like everyone else does, and that
baby is going to be the one to suffer for
her stupid mistakes!
I was thinking today, and I was wondering
if I should write down a whole bunch of
things, like effects that drinking and
smoking and drugs could have on the baby,
and give it to her and have her read them
and maybe that would give her a reality
check. I'm so tired of hearing about her
doing things like this, and her not
listening to me when I say it'll hurt her
baby.
Any ideas? Besides call cps, which if she
doesn't get ahold of herself .I .A.M
planning on doing.
People like this really piss me off. Like
if I knew I her I would seriously b*tch
smack her. I think that list is a good
idea. You can also tell her that she has
a good chance of having a
retarded/developmentally delayed child-the
first trimester is the most critical time
during a pregnancy, and she effed it up
big time. And she needs to know that just
because a baby is born with 10 fingers and
10 toes doesnt mean it doesnt have severe
brain damage. This girl is a freaking
immature fool and I truly feel sorry for
that baby.
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hunterjumper
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Dec 2005 Posts: 203 Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posted: 04-18-06 19:02pm
I think it's a good idea to give her some
information, but also tell her it because
she's likely to just turn around and throw
out anything you print off for her before
she even reads it...Once your back is
turned.
If she's smoking that much, her baby is in
a huge risk of being born premature. She
probably won't think that's very serious,
but nicu is very serious and could
potentially mean death or having a baby
with downs or autism or other mental or
physical disablility from being born so
early. Many preemies are deaf or blind
because of it. It also costs a lot more
and her insurance may not cover all of it.
It's likely her baby will also have
asthsma and need an inhaler, costing more
money and drastically affecting it's life
forever. My friend's smoked way less,
only a few times a week and a couple of
their babies still needed inhalers at like
4 months old. Very sad.
Alcohol during pregnancy of course leads
to fetal alcohol syndrome, which is very
serious. It can mimic many of the same
symptoms as something like adhd, with kids
who can't focus in school. They act off,
they get in fights, they get bad grades,
they're more likely to drop out. They're
more likely to do criminal acts because of
their out of control behavior. They have
a very very hard time even getting a job,
let alone keeping it. Nothing advanced
either. Most people with fas can't even
keep a job like unloading trucks or
stocking shelves. They rarely have
successful relationships and they grow up
pretty damn lonely and miserable.
Doing drugs, especially early on, can
really harm the development of the organs
and the brain. She may very well have
caused her baby to be deformed. At the
very least, she's depriving it of oxygen
and nutrients and is likely to have an
addicted baby who has to detox in nicu.
Which means that cps will likely step in
and take the baby away.
So basically tell her that she's going to
lose the baby one way or the other if she
doesn't get her act straight. The nurses
will get involved and the doctors will get
involved and lastly, you'll call cps
yourself if she doesn't straight up
because you're not one to suffer fools and
child abuse lightly. And that's what it
is.
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Cambion
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Nov 2005 Posts: 736 Location: Earth
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Posted: 04-18-06 19:30pm
Perhaps losing the child will need to be
the lesson hard learned to make her clean
up her act. If the child does survive, it
will be plagued with an array of problems
ranging from fetal alcohol syndrome to
being addicted to the drugs the mother
used during the pregnancy. If she's going
to be abusing the child when it's still in
her body, then she needs to seriously
consider either abortion or adoption.
Maybe nature will take its course and
she'll miscarry before birthing a
deformed, drug-addicted baby.
I'm sure she's aware of the risk she is
putting her child in by drinking and doing
drugs, but I would venture far enough to
say that she doesn't care. She does not
have the makings of a good, or even decent
mother, and I pray this child does not end
up in her care at any costs.
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seksiHily
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2005 Posts: 1015 Location: MN
Posted: 04-18-06 20:08pm
Or the child could turn out jsut fine and
she learns nothing...
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8004 Location: Missouri, United States
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Thanked:1
Posted: 04-18-06 20:15pm
I know the child could turn out just fine,
but thats not a chance that I want to take
ya know? It's doing it stupid that she
can't stay away from drugs and alcohol for
9 months, long enough to have a healthy
baby. I just want to smack her
sometimes!
She always says "god I can't wait til I
have this kid, i'm going out and getting
messed up!"
um ok if you have a kid you aren't worried
about going out and getting drunk and
high, that shows you right there that she
isn't ready. :roll:
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Rawrrr
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Posts: 28 Location: C.A
Posted: 04-18-06 20:57pm
That sucks. Why would someone choose to
do that to their baby. I admit I was
drinking and smoking pot but I didnt know
I was pregnent and I wish I did. Well now
that I know i'm pregnent I stopped smoking
and drinking. Whatever, people are going
to do what they want to do reguardless of
what other people say. She is enjoying
life and not realizing the harm she is
doing to her unborn child. If her kid
comes out all messed up she will know why
and hate herself. Not to be rude but I
hope she gets some kind of lesson out of
this. Yea maybe you should write the
affects down and get pictures and then
give it to her and maybe she will realize
how messed up her baby can turn out and
she will stop being retarded.
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8004 Location: Missouri, United States
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Posted: 04-18-06 21:07pm
Yeah I really think im going to do that,
like print out pics of premature babies
and write down what can happen. I just
don't like seeing someone hurt a child
like that. And I dont think id be a very
good friend if I just let her keep doing
it.
Thanks guys :)
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seksiHily
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Apr 2005 Posts: 1015 Location: MN
Posted: 04-18-06 21:42pm
Oh yeah I agree its not a risk to medical
question around wiht like she seems to be,
but she may learn nothing from this, maybe
cps can step in before the birth? Wont
hurt to call and ask
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*~Bree~*
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2005 Posts: 77 Location: South, MS
Posted: 04-18-06 22:46pm
I started crying reading this. My ex best
friend of 9 years did the same thing. And
her baby is handicap(s/p). She's 4 years
old and can't even tell her mommy she
loves her. Can you imagine your 4 year
old screaming and crying and not having a
clue in the world as to whats wrong.
Here's the story:
at age 14 she found out she was
pregnant....You'd think she'd tell someone
well im the only one that knew. She
drank, smoked, took extacy, all kinds of
pills, acid, you name it she prolly tried
it. I think to get rid of the baby but
she was so far along the baby had already
developed a good bit. Well after her
belly started showing her parents figured
it out and she had the baby a few weeks
later.
2 months early at only 2lbs 9 oz. Destiny
ann!!! She stayed in the hospital for
seems like the first year of her life.
She looked like a perfect baby maybe a
little small but thats it.
Years went on and her development never
really kicked in. She never really
crawled, ate or drank by herself, talked,
laughed, anything. She pretty much just
layed there and cried.
Now at four she can walk a little. She
still can't talk. She screams for no
reason and crys all the time. It's hard.
I mean I love this little girl to dealth
but I don't talk to them anymore because
my friend never changed. She still
parties and lets she grandmaw take care of
the baby. It just kills me being I can't
even conceive. You need to tell your
friend to chill the f*ck out and get her
head straight because the chances of her
having a normal baby are very slim.
People like that need to have their kids
taken away from them. Their are people
out here that will take a child even with
problems. God bless this child!!!!!!!!!
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8004 Location: Missouri, United States
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Posted: 04-18-06 22:58pm
Well now im crying lol
i'd like to take her in a room with like
teachers permission or whatever and just
talk to her, she says she loves the baby
and that since she heard the heartbeat it
gave her a reality check but she keeps
drinking and that same day she was going
to do more drugs. Its such a big deal to
me, and obviously everyone here I just
wish she could understand. I dont know
what to say to her. Nobody else will take
the time or effort to sit her down and
talk to her, she should do this on her own
but she really doesn't have anyone, she
stays at a different persons house every
single night because her mom just lets her
do whatever so I think thats why shes like
this. But its still no excuse to hurt her
baby like this.
I just wish I could take it and run lol id
love it.
Its just the fact that he or she will have
to suffer because of stevies stupid
mistakes. Its not fair
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Nadine2006
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Apr 2006 Posts: 240 Location: australia
Posted: 04-19-06 04:14am
She is being effin stupid.. She going to
hurt a poor little innocent baby to wat be
cool? Yeh she is achieving so much...
You need to have a good talk to her..
Otherwise she not just going to ruien the
babies life hers also.. Wen she wil have
to look after a baby who has sum sort of
disability.. Im sure she will be happy
with her choices by trying to be cool..
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DylanJacob
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 559
Posted: 04-19-06 04:50am
Yeah - write a list... If ya need help we
are here to be "researchers".
People like that really annoy me,
especially after dil.
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Nadine2006
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Apr 2006 Posts: 240 Location: australia
Posted: 04-19-06 04:52am
Yeh ...Really annoys me cause I watch a
friend do this and now the kid has adhd
and lots of other problems and she always
complains and she wonders why!!! Effin
fool
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8004 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
Posted: 04-19-06 07:24am
Well i've got school today, and when I get
home im gonna make a list. If you want to
help you can, I don't really know what to
look up right now lol but thanks for the
help guys :)
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DylanJacob
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 559
Posted: 04-19-06 07:45am
Just type in smoking pregnancy in google
and I bet itll come up with a million
things - hang on ill check it. Im bored
at home
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DylanJacob
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 559
Posted: 04-19-06 07:48am
Smoking nearly doubles a woman's risk of
having a low-birthweight baby. In 2002,
12.2 percent of babies born to smokers in
the united states were of low birthweight
(less than 5 pounds), compared to 7.5
percent of babies of nonsmokers.2 low
birthweight can result from poor growth
before birth, preterm delivery or a
combination of both. Smoking has long
been known to slow fetal growth. Studies
also suggest that smoking increases the
risk of preterm delivery 37 weeks of
gestation). Premature and low-birthweight
babies face an increased risk of serious
health problems during the newborn period,
chronic lifelong disabilities (such as
cerebral palsy, mental retardation and
learning problems) and even death.
The more a pregnant woman smokes, the
greater the risk to her baby. However, if
a woman stops smoking by the end of her
first trimester of pregnancy, she is no
more likely to have a low-birthweight baby
than a woman who never smoked. Even if a
woman has not been able to stop smoking in
her first or second trimester, stopping
during the third trimester can still
improve her baby's growth.
Smoking has been associated with a number
of pregnancy complications. Smoking
cigarettes appears to double a woman's
risk of developing placental problems. 1
these include placenta previa (low-lying
placenta that covers part or all of the
opening of the uterus) and placental
abruption (in which the placenta peels
away, partially or almost completely, from
the uterine wall before delivery). Both
can result in heavy bleeding during
delivery that can endanger mother and
baby, although a cesarean delivery can
prevent most deaths. Placental problems
contribute to the slightly increased risk
of stillbirth that is associated with
smoking.
Smoking in pregnancy also appears to
increase a woman's risk of premature
rupture of the membranes (prom) (when the
sac inside the uterus that holds the baby
breaks before labor begins).1 a woman with
prom may experience a trickle or gush of
fluid from her vagina when her water
breaks. Usually, she will go into labor
within a few hours. When prom occurs
before 37 weeks of pregnancy it is called
preterm prom, and it often results in the
birth of a premature baby.
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8004 Location: Missouri, United States
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Posted: 04-19-06 07:53am
Wow, thanks. You're so great :d
i hope this helps her.
We even talk about smoking to her like,
"you shouldn't smoke blah blah blah" and
she says "well iv known a lot of girls who
smoke during pregnancy and their kids are
just fine" so I guess she uses that as a
crutch. She doesn't think anything can
happen to her I guess.
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DylanJacob
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2006 Posts: 559
Posted: 04-19-06 08:11am
You're welcome :d
i would just hate to see anything happen
to the baby.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006 Posts: 6806 Location: Florida
Posted: 04-19-06 09:12am
Your friend is the biggest health
question! I would call the police station
and ask them if there is anything they can
do like step in especially when she is
under age doing all of this. . .
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