Anorexic Then Bulimic Then Drunk Then Drugs & Back Again Posted: 04-19-06 07:31am
Hello
i have had a really caca few years really.
I was so glad to stumble across this
site, as I didn't even know places like
this existed! You all seem to help each
other out so much, and so I am hoping
someone can do the same for me.
My problems started when I was 16 (now 21)
when my friends gave me crap for having a
big ass, even though it wasn't big at all!
I was 55 kg and 165cm tall... I
basically cut out all food groups from my
diet except fruit and dairy, so bad!!! My
weight loss was just muscle, and I looked
so so awfully skinny. My weight dropped
to 40kg. Because I cut out so many food
groups I began to crave them wildly, and
decided one day that I would have a day
off and eat whatever I wanted. Feelings
of guilt swept over me and so I switched
to bulimia, throwing up 15 times a day
sometimes. This lasted all the way
through my final year of high school.
I moved to the city after school and
discovered drugs of all kinds, which made
me forget about my bulimia for a while
because I had no appetite. I was quite
addicted to ecstacy and especially meth,
so I was killing my mental health even
further. Once I decided to take a break
from the drugs I turned to alcohol,
managing to keep up with my guy friends
drinking up to 15 beers a day. My weight
increased (as it would!!!)
my bulimia came back because I freaked out
about my weight gain, and so my parents
offered to pay for me to go to a
psychologist. The doc put me on
dexamphetamines (mild amphetamines for add
treatment) which in turn got me back into
the drug abuse.
Basically I have now been placed on
antidepressents for my constantly low
moods, still throw up at least once a day,
I still go out on the weekend and take
drugs, and still drink like a fish. I am
miserable, and cant go on like this
anymore. How the hell do I regain
control? I know I am capable of so much
more, my studies and work are suffering,
and I am so in love with my boyfriend but
fear that I might screw that up too. It
may as well go all pear shaped, everything
else does...
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Krittyk
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Posts: 38 Location: Australia
Posted: 04-23-06 22:31pm
No one??
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 04-25-06 10:10am
Geez, it seems so tough, I believe it has
been a trully nightmare for you :(
my case is different, but I can try to
help... I'm also your age and i'm bulimic
(for about 4 years now).
My treatment is more with my phychologist
than with my nutricionist. She told me
that I have to re-educate myself, so that
I lose that obcession about my weight that
I have. I don't vomit so much now, I also
can have full days without even throwing
up. I think this treatment is better than
going on drugs, as I could be going now,
because, in the end, the problem is all in
the head, it's about the way you think.
It's very hard to recover because of that,
because it's first mental... :f but i'm
trying to, so you can too.
The best wishes
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Krittyk
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Posts: 38 Location: Australia
Posted: 04-25-06 20:59pm
Thanks for the reply. I completely broke
down last night because I had had too much
to drink and a big cloud came over me.
My boyfriend (who I love very much) just
went quiet when I needed him to be
supportive. I asked him what was wrong
and he said he is frustrated because we
are going round in circles again... This
made me even more upset.
I told him that I am sick and that im not
going to make a miraculous recovery
straight away (even though I would love
to) and I seem to be never beating this
bulimia. He was better this morning, and
understands that I need him more than
ever, but I dont want to lean on him so
much.
Does anyone have any suggestions that have
helped break the cycle of falling into old
habits? Like activities or something?
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 04-26-06 04:50am
Me and my boyfriend usually go for a walk
during sunny days, for example. Sometimes
we go to the movies too. When we're not
at home, there's no need to be thinking
about eating - we walk an talk about
several things.
I don't know if you two have those habits,
but we started improving on these walks
and so and our relationship is very good
:)
i understood that I had to compensate him
for his patience and understanding, so i'm
always trying to have new ideas to be with
him and always trying to remember not to
talk about this - just when it comes to a
point that I really need to and not for
little things.
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Krittyk
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Apr 2006 Posts: 38 Location: Australia
Posted: 04-26-06 20:16pm
Wow your boyfriend sounds just like mine!
So supportive... He has been there for me
for many years now, and so many times I
have told him myself that he should just
give up and walk away, and that I am never
going to get better, but he still sticks
by me. Some people are just amazing.
My boy actually prefers me to talk to him
every day about how I am feeling, rather
than letitng it bottle up inside and burst
all at once. Does your boy not liek you
to talk about little things that are
bothering you?
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 725
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 04-27-06 04:19am
No, he likes, but sometimes I feel that
i'm just being too annoying, so i'd rather
give him somebreaks.
I like to buy i'm little things,
sometimes, to make him feel that I give
him more and more attention and also to do
things for him. It can be all a bunch of
silly things sometimes, but, at least, it
makes us laugh ;)
