My Friend Is Bulimic, What Can I Do to Help? Posted: 05-03-06 15:20pm
Hi,
today my friend told me that she hates
herself and the way she looks, she thinks
she is fat but I have seen her stomach
many times and she really is not!.
She doesn't eat very much, she just snacks
a bit during the day and doesn't eat
proper meals. When she does have a meal,
she then forces it up again. She does
this about 3 days a week because that is
how often she eats a decent meal.
We are only 15 and I know that this is an
age at which appearance is very important,
but being a boy I don't feel such pressure
to be thin or fit in.
I just know what I should do and if there
is anything I could do to help?
Im really don't know what to do, and I am
very worried because she is my best mate
ever and I don't want any thing to happen
to her.
Please help me!!!
Thankyou, crazycabbage
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Kaylathecoolest
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2006 Posts: 73
Posted: 05-03-06 17:25pm
As I know from experiance no one can stop
your friend I do this still but the last
time I tried to do it I had said that I
couldn't hurt myself and at least not do
it then but this doesn't stop me from
trying and I am only getting worse.... It
is hard to for some to admit it and for
some it aint you can do is try to talk to
her and talk to her and tell her that you
are their for her and for me when I told
somebody about my bulmia I just wanted for
them to do everything they could to stop
me if that meant draging me from the
bathroom or whatever. You can only talk
to her and see if she wants help and when
she does you can then help her.
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BrokenButterfly
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jun 2005 Posts: 28 Location: Ireland
Posted: 05-13-06 17:14pm
That is very good of you to care for your
friend, she is very lucky to have a friend
like you.
Em does she mind talking about it? The
other person who replyed is right, she is
not going to stop feeling the way she does
because you are worried but if you explain
to her that you care about her and that
what she is doing to herself is harming
her and she deserves better.
Eating disorders are so complex and a few
years I probably would of said just be
there for her if she needs you but now I
think I will say different. I know how
much eating disorders can destroy your
life as I have seen it more times then I
care to think of and I have lost a very
dear friend to it.
It might not be very serious at the moment
but once she startes getting sick and
eating differently then that is a sign
that something has been wrong for awhile
now and its just manafesting itself now.
Your friend would need to go to a doctor
just to get blood tests to see how she is
doing medically. I would really advice
her to see a therapist or something like
that because this will not go away on its
on although she might say it will, it
won't. An eating disorder is so complex
that even the person going through it
won't fully understand why until they are
recovered.
People who don't eat or make themselves
sick do so because they don't know how
else to cope with life. That is their
way, the same way some people use drink,
drugs, we use food.
You can only be there for your friend and
support her decisions but do say that you
are concerned about her and you would like
her to get help.
She will do what she needs to do but give
her time.
Also I just want to point out something.
I have an eating disorder and I became
very intravert, where I didn't really want
to go out with friends anymore and I just
stayed at home as a result I lost alot of
friends. They did not realise what I was
going through and they thought I didn't
like them but that wasn't the case at all,
I just wasn't sure how to talk to them
anymore.
So if your friend does back off a little
don't be worried because that is very
normal and it doesn't mean she doesn't
want to be friends with you anymore, it
just means that she is going through alot
of things in her head and she kind of
forgets how to chat and have fun. So be
there for her as much as you can but also
remember to look after yourself because
having a friend with an eating disorder
can be tough.
I hope that helps a little bit! Your a
very good friend to her, all the best!
Xxxx
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v00d00cita
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 04 Mar 2006 Posts: 724
Thanks: 0
Thanked:4
Posted: 05-14-06 08:29am
You are a good friend, you are worried
about your friend and you want t help her,
that's very good. Congrats for you for
that.
Your friend probably will deny everything
you ask her about an ed, because it always
happens. She won't want to listen to you
and it will be hard for both, but keep
hanging on. But she need to see that an
ed won't give her a better life.. So look
at us all who want to get out of this
deepness.
It makes people get seriously sick and
always see those who surround them with a
filter between the eyes and the world,
always seeing the self as worse as the
others.
It's hard for friends to help, generally,
because of all that denial and all those
complexities... But you could try to talk
to her openly and try to take her to a
nutritionist or, better, to a
psychologist, because eds have treatment
and those who have them can and must be
treated properly.
Those treatments are hard to deal with,
because it's all inside the brain and it
must begin with the person herself/himself
seeing and recognising the illness and
that support is needed. Then, changing
the way of thinking is very difficult, so
it requires enormous will, strenght and
support.
You must also be patient with her...
brokenbutterfly
wrote:
an eating disorder is so
complex that even the person going through
it won't fully understand why until they
are recovered. People who don't eat or
make themselves sick do so because they
don't know how else to cope with life.
That is their way, the same way some
people use drink, drugs, we use food.
You can only be there for your friend and
support her decisions but do say that you
are concerned about her and you would like
her to get help.
So if your friend does back off a little
don't be worried because that is very
normal and it doesn't mean she doesn't
want to be friends with you anymore, it
just means that she is going through alot
of things in her head and she kind of
forgets how to chat and have fun. So be
there for her as much as you can but also
remember to look after yourself because
having a friend with an eating disorder
can be tough.
good luck, we'll be here to help you both
as much as we can.
