before I start ranting I want to make this
post about sharing pain stories… so,
what frustrates you when if comes to your
pain??
Here is my week. I am having a really
horrible few days...
It's been raining for like a week straight
here in chi-town and my hip is killing
me!
I also have this strange pain in my wrist,
sharp, stabbing...I can't even turn the
key in the car without having to use two
hands... I've had to use my crutches and
since it is my right hip that is all
jacked up (slipped capital femoral
epiphysis) and so it has been aggravating
my wrist. I don’t know if it is carpal
tunnel because it has come on far too
quickly and is centered right in the
middle of where the hand connects to the
wrist.
Then there is this strange thing with my
left shoulder!!! I am 99% sure that it
hurts so bad because of the way that I
sleep when my hip and knee hurt this bad.
My shoulder actually wakes me up more now
then my hip… I sleep on my stomach
because it is the position that least
hurts my hip and so when I tuck my arm
under the pillow, above my head, my
shoulder feels like someone is stabbing
the rotator cuff… it only starts to hurt
like this when my hip hurts… I don’t
get it. The knee pain I understand! Bad
placement of the hip causes strain of the
knee combined with the radiating pain from
the hip, but the left shoulder????????
How does that fit in to the whole right
hip thing?
Sigh… then combine it all with the
stress of the depression and the fact that
I believe I lost the flash drive that
contains a ton of important business stuff
and I am in a right state.
This post is here because it is all based
on the hip pain, everything else results
from that.
I also got a blow from a story from a
friend of my father’s… his friend’s
x-wife, who smokes crack and does coke on
a regular basis and is also an alcoholic
and has whored herself for drugs in the
past, (quality woman, I assure you…lol)
had back pain. She went to the major
hospital in winnetka, the rich area of
chicago, the place that ton’s of really
famous people have come from like john
balushi, and the whole “blues
brother’s” group and dozen’s of
others that I can’t remember, so
anyways, she went to the big, expensive,
hospital, got all kinds of expensive tests
done one her, they found a cyst on her
spine and within a week she was on the
table having the surgery and they helped
her fill out all the paperwork so she
didn’t have to pay for any of it,
because she was technically homeless at
the time, and she has had all of her
health care taken care of, courtesy of the
state/fed’s, ever since!
She didn’t listen to the doctors and
inject the antibiotics they gave to her
into the stint (a line right into the
major artery so that you don’t need to
use a needle in the skin to inject
med’s.) and so now, about 6 months
later, the back pain is back and they
found that the cyst has returned and there
is probably an infection because all she
did was eat the pain killers, and smoke
the crack, and didn’t do anything the
doctor told her like use the antibiotics,
no heavy lifting, anti-fooking-biotics…
so she is going back in for major fooking
surgery and it is all for free!
I can’t walk, I can’t think, the
stress is causing singles and cold sore
flare up’s constantly, (i’m only 25
years old! That shouldn’t be happening
until i’m like 50!) i’m having panic
attacks and depression that has led me to
try and kill myself more times then I can
remember… I am forced to beg my family
to pay for my $200.00 a month bill for the
antidepressants that keep me from
offing’ myself…i’m having flashbacks
to the abuse of my mother because of
mother’s day and then flashbacks and
intrusive thoughts about the mentally and
sexually abusive relationship with my x
that I finally got out of after 4+ years
of codependency…
she is a fooking crack prostitute and she
lives in winnetka and has all her health
care taken care of despite the fact that
all of this new stuff is her own god
damned fault!!! Of course they won’t
treat her for her multiple mental
illnesses because she refuses to admit
that she is mentally ill (if you ever met
her you would understand) so that is not
the doctor’s fault. It’s always the
truly mentally ill that believe that they
are fine…
god! I am just so fooking bitter and
jaded…
they fix her despite the fact that once
she is fixed she will continue to be a
drain on society yet ignore me when my
only goal is to be fixed so that I can
become a productive member of society and
pay the country back for any money they
spend on fixing me!!!!
Such bs and hierocracy and just flat out
insanity is hard to deal with.
I’m the one so jacked up that I was
given a permanent, until the day I die,
handicap sticker! She is just a fooking
coke prostitute that will continually be
destroying her body and mind and the mind
of her 12 year old daughter because she is
allowed to continue her rampage
unhindered!
My father even called child protective
services on her because she and her
friends were doing coke and smoking crack
in front of the child! She was basically
their slave… getting them more to drink,
cleaning up after them when they go on the
heroin “nod”…
ok, this has gone one for two pages now so
I think I should start wrapping it up…
i do feel a lot better now that I got it
off my chest…
so, what frustrates you when if comes to
your pain…
