Schizophrenia Forum - I'm Pretty Sure I Might Have Schizophrenia...

Hello. Ive been reading alot of these posts and they are very familiar to my experiences. I wouldn't have even thought that I was schizophrenic until about a week ago. Whenever I am laying down to go to bed, I would hear voices whispering my name. I would call out to see if maybe my mom or one of my siblings was knocking on my door, but they rarely if ever were. I thought I was just hearing things like the television etc. But then it started to notice that it was happening even when I was the only one in the house. I would hear music, voices or even feel the presense of someone who wasn't there (not like a ghost but more like an invisible person) etc. Then I started to worry, if I was sure that it wasn't someone else, what was it?

Thats when I started to research what might cause that and I came across schizophrenia. At first I was like nah, it couldn't possibly be schizophrenia, I wasnt having convorsations with people that weren't there etc. This is when I started to reflect back on weird things in my life. What I began to saw was really amazing and frightining to me. One of the first things I recalled as weird was the invisible cat that would jump up on my bed late at night. I know my door is always closed because I never go to bed without locking it, because i'm paranoid that someone might come in and hurt me or worse, my little brother might come in with sticky fingers :-p. But I still felt a cat jumping up on my bed and walking up to my bad and curling up next to me.

Since all of the schizophrenic incidents I had, occured in my bed, thats where I first began my quest to delve deeper into my memories. I remember having hallucinations (they occured at night but often when I just laid down, so I don't consider them dreams) often I would have hallucinations that I was a sorcerer. Once I even had an extremely vivid hallucination (the most vivid one to date) where I saw a vampire staring down at me and he bit my neck. Then I slowly began to fall (and I could feel it) and the word error was being echoed all over. Eventually I landed in some boiling water after about a minute of that, it all faded away and I was back in my room. It was the most real thing i've ever felt and even though my logic tells me it never happened, I still have problems believing that it didnt happen. The kicker was, I was sitting on my bed, not laying down on it.

Other things I remember was once while sitting watching the television, everything turned dark and I had a conversation with god and the devil, they were trying to convince me to join them. After about an hour of them fighting over me, I decided to join the path of neutrality. Because god and the devil were the same, all they wanted to do was increase their armies and dominate over everyone. And ever since then, I am kind of scared that both demons and angels are trying to attack me (once again, my logic tells me what fool?, but I still feel a longing and overwhelming sense to believe it and at times do).

I also have strange memories about myself, that all of my family say never happened. When I was a little kid, I remember my dog saving me from someone who was trying to attack me. I also remember eating a wild mushroom and almost dieng and having to go to the emergency room. However, neither of my parents or any of my siblings remember either incident.

(paragraph added after original post) I wasn't going to add this part, but after reading my post I thought it might be helpful to include. This has more to do with believing that I was a sorcerer (as I said earlier in the post). Ive always been trying to cast spells for as long as I remember. I thought/sort of still do believe that I can control peoples minds and hear what they are thinking. I used to be frightened that people could read my mind too, but I actually came over this, because I thought that their was no way they could, because I was a really powerful sorcerer. Whenever i'm outside and can't find my way home, I just go where my mind tells me and I would always make it where I wanted to be. I also feel like I can predict the future and have in the past. Sometimes I feel the presence of someone standing nearby, I turn around and no one is there, but I can feel them. I think that the invisible people might be trying to contact me.

Back to my original question, am I just getting paranoid about this stuff, or is it possible to realize that yi'm schizophrenic? And should I try to get help? I know i'm not a danger to anyone at all, even myself, because I am a very strong believer in peace and I have a really deep paranoia about knifes, guns etc. But I just want to know what to do, because it has really frightened me to realise this about myself.