Joined: 14 May 2006 Posts: 4 Location: United Sates
Losing Effort to Live... Posted: 05-14-06 23:48pm
Hi, i'm paul and I need someone to talk
to...
For about one year, i've been down, low
and depressed. I don't even sleep at
night anymore, I come home from school,
skip homework, skip talking to friends,
and go straight to bed, and i'm up most of
the night. I've had alot of thoughts of
suicide, but i've never attempted it, i've
sorta always wanted someone else to do it.
I know I need someone to talk to, but I
feel so distant from everyone, so
isolated, like the only one that knows me
is me. I can't even remember the last
time I got a phone call. No...The last
person that called me was the army
recruiter at my school...
I don't even talk to my parents or
family anymore...I live in a family of 5
and I feel i'm the only one here. I
don't like it. I hate what I have
become, and I feel I can't do anything
about it. I feel i'm going to be like
this forever until the day I die, and the
thought of that literally brings me to
tears.
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Dedpaul
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 May 2006 Posts: 4 Location: United Sates
Thanks For Your Help Posted: 05-15-06 15:40pm
Okay everyone thanks for helping...I was
hoping I could find someone to talk to
about this mdd I have, but I can't talk to
family, can't talk to friends, and now, I
scream out to the world, but I get
nothing. Why did I even bother...? I
know someone wants to say "hey, maybe you
should go see a counselor." well it's not
that easy. This illness is a very
personal one, and I don't want everyone
that I know personally to think that i'm
some nutjob. But oh well...What can I
do, right? Not a whole lot...I can't
stop the whole world from being heartless.
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rdy4one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2005 Posts: 45 Location: Chicago
Help Is Available Posted: 05-15-06 16:16pm
Hello I just wanted to comment and let u
know that it sounds like you need more
help then the internet can offer u. It's
hard for us or at least me to assist u
with your problem if the no one knows the
root of your problem. Are you having
problems in school, family problems,
social problems? Those are some of the
things that need to be discussed before
someone can help you get through your
depression. I'm sorry you feel the way
that you do and it sounds like you have
the weight of the world on your shoulders
but if you just confide in one trusting
person i'm sure u can get through it and
that may mean seeking professional help.
Having thoughts of suicide is very serious
and its nothing to play around with and if
that is how you feel I urge u to seek
help.
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Dedpaul
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 May 2006 Posts: 4 Location: United Sates
Helloooo Posted: 05-15-06 18:30pm
I didn't ask for professional help, I
asked for someone to talk to...Anyone.
Just not anybody I know personally, I
don't want to scare them.
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rdy4one
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2005 Posts: 45 Location: Chicago
Posted: 05-16-06 08:21am
Ok
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Dedpaul
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 May 2006 Posts: 4 Location: United Sates
the Problem Is... Posted: 05-16-06 15:47pm
For nearly all my life up to today, i've
felt left out, unwanted, isolated, and
alone. I've tried nearly everything to
cope with my depression. I tried to
ignore it, it comes back harder. I've
tried doing something active, and it only
helps for a little while, then it comes
back. I've tried even doing something
creative, and I bought a guitar, learned
to play a little and still I feel i'm
under attack. Now i'm trying to talk
about to let it all out...
It's all I said above and to top it all
off, being heartbroken for about 1
straight year (to this day).
And to that other guy that asked if I
should just go out and do something (play
sports, go out driving) hello if you read
the symptoms for this illness, you don't
want to do anything at all. You only
want to lay in your bed, and go to sleep,
and pray to god that you won't wake up,
but you still do. It's like a prison.
And besides, I lost my drivers license
last august so theres no driving at all
anymore.
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Fasttricky
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 May 2006 Posts: 21 Location: Manchester, England
Hello Posted: 05-16-06 16:09pm
Hi,
when I was 14, I tried to commit suicide
with my moms sleeping tablets. I felt
really low, and everything in life felt
really dark and depressing. At school I
was bullied because I was a loner and I
was an easy target. People at school
used to call me names and it hurt so much.
I wasn't very bright so anytime we had
to get into a group for something at
school, I was always left till last, and
the teacher has to always pair up with
me.
I came from a family where they did try
their best with me, but I guess sometimes
it never is enough.
My mom had schitozphrenia, ans she used to
flair up at me or any other family member
for no reason. The things she came out
with were horrid and hateful at times, but
this is what the diesease does to you.
At times my life felt really low, I felt I
didn't have anyone to talk to, which made
thing worse. But slowly I came out of my
depression, and suddenly seemed to look
differently at life. I am not completly
cured, but I hated feeling so down it felt
worse that physical pain. Sometimes when
life gets me down, I can feel myself
slipping into depression, it scares me,
but forums like this one does help, as you
don't feel the only one out there.
Emily
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 05-16-06 17:30pm
You are not alone on this and their are
people that love you that do not want to
lose you, think of them, just try to get
involved with those that care about you.
Their is nothing wrong with seeking a
little professional help after a while,
heck, we all need a little help sometime
in our lives, we are not perfect and their
is nothing to be ashamed of. Their are
support groups and other positive ways of
helping you. Sit down talk to your
family, tell them what is going on, they
cannot help you if thy do not know and you
are trying to shut them out. Yes, we are
here for you too! Please do not hurt
thosthat care about you!
The best to you!
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