Dumb People Irk Me.

As much as I hate going to the doctors and think that most of the time the visits are for absolutely no reason but to get more money from my insurance company (although I do think that 4 of my doctor visits were legit) I still go all the darn time. Every week and my doctor's on the complete opposite side of town from me. I hate the visits but they say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and I don't want to take any chances with the m&m. Even if I do think it's an insurance company/doctor conspiracy.

Lol. But I really don't understand her logic of thinking that she will just pack up and go to the .E.R when she is in labor. I was like are you crazy???? Her mom and dad say the same things. I don't understand how people can be so dumb. I can see and from the death of my first baby I learned how important it is to have a regular ob and someone who can take one look at your chart and know who you are.

I just hope that the baby is ok. But she won't know or be able to be prepaired for birth defects or anything. Ijust want to shake her and make her undersand that something could go really really wrong and she wouldn't have a heads up on the situation and try to get it taken care of before it goes really wrong.

I guess that if I didnt' go thru what I went thru with my first baby, I would probible not be so irked but I sooo am. God it's weird. I feel almost violent twords her because it's a baby and it's life starts at the date of conception (my view) not just when the baby is born. I almost feel like she is neglecting the baby. Is this wrong?

Ok im not the type to be an ass or anything so forgive me if I come off as ummm should I say health forum... For one can we leave allie alone now.. Jesus I dont even know what she did but its like everyone is ganging up on her. Let her be immature and childish its really none of our buisness as long as we take care of what " we " need takin care of we will be ok.
As for the thing with your cousin... I know first hand how difficult it is to see a docor and get medicaid or any kind of insurance. It took me almost my whole pregnancy really. I am originally from new orleans and I lost everything so we were dissplaced and had to come to texas. I got pregnant at the begging of september and since I stayed with my boyfriends mom after the storm I was still in louisiana and was able to see a doctor only 2 times. The last time I saw him was at 6 weeks. I came to texas and wasnt able too see an actual doctor untill I want to say about 25 weeks.
I got to get ultra sounds done 2 times but they weren't profesional and the girls who know me already know I was going to a school that teaches ultra sound tech and just kinda acted like there guinea pig but just being able to see my baby was enough.
The doctor that I first started going see was at a nasty hole in the wall clinic and they only took me because I told them I was in the process of getting my medicaid and I showed them that I had medicaid in louisiana
( texas will not take a louisiana medicaid card no matter what, your plan has to be transfered and it takes " forever" ). I finally after months of trying got my texas medicaid and now I have been seeing a real doctor for the past 2 or 3 months and she will be the one to deliver my baby boy and all that.
Even going that long without a doctor my baby couldnt be better. He is perfectly healthy and everything has been ok. You cant stress over what your cousin does because its her body. You cant help who dosent want to be helped and you cant force her to do what she dosent want to do. I know its a very horrible feeling to have knowing someone is neglecting their child but sweety woman have been having kids for centuries without any doctors or help. They would just give birth in the fields working and keep going probally not even knowing that they were pregnant.
You cant push your cousin to do what she wont, and u shouldn't stress. Its great that you are concerned and you should be. I respect you for wanting to help.
All you can really do tho is talk to her and explain what she is risking and let her know whats going on. Just hope she makes the right choice and gets done what she needs to get done. Its not easy dealing with insurance and medicaid and all that but its well worth it.
I hope everything goes well for youboth and I hope that baby does allright.. !!!
Good luck and my prayers and wishes to you her and that child .
- jen

Wow I was just expressing my concern for her. And everything you said I fully understand. But I fully believe that when someone is willing to help (working in the insureance feild I know how to get around these things adn have done so for a few friends of mine.) I dont' think that there is any excuse for her to wine and cry about her situation. It's a bunch of bull for her to cry saying it's the system when I know the system and can get her insurance and was fully willing to help her take care of herself and her baby. In her situation she should be willing to accept all the help that will get her where she needs to be. She is complaining to me that she won't know what her baby is, or why she is bleeding right now during her pregnany, or why she is having cramps. But everytime I offer her help she just says that she is over it and doesn't care.

If you think that this is proper behavor then fine. But I don't think that this is proper. I could have her insurance before the end of the month and she doesnt' want me to help her. It's an 18 year old soon to be mother being a child because she doesn't .F.E.E.L like dealing with it. She is my cousin and I can stress about her and her baby because she is my cousin. I dont' know how you treat family but I try to take care of mine.

I guess u dont' understand because you havn't been thru what I have been thru. And anyone could go thru it and not have a heads up it could have been 10 times worse for me.

But like you said people have been going thru this for centuries and I dont' know what I am talking about.

I know the whole insurance game. That is what I do. They denied her based on the fact that she lived with her parents and they make too much for her to apply. Fine....I can get her around that and have it taken care of. I know how the system works here in florida.

Sandra you have to admit if someone came to you and said that they could make the process easier for you, you would have gladly accepted the help right? And at the same time you didn't give up on trying to get the help you need to look after yourself and your baby, right? So you took care of the situation. And yeah you may have been 5 months along by the time you got proper care. But you didnt' just give up.

That is what she has done is given up, and what irks me the most is because I can help her get the coverage she needs and she is too lazy to try to get it done. And because of the .H.I.P.P.A laws I can't do it without her. She got her denial letter a month after she filed for it and gave up. She has now gone 9 weeks like it's no big deal.

But she calls me when she feels like something is wrong with her. Like a headache, dizzy spells, bleeding/spotting, constapation, heartburn, eating, sleeping, leg pain, back pain, not peeing right, pain down her arms. And I can't really answer her questions because it could be 1000 different things. I would tell her to call a doctor, or go to the .E.R if she thinks it's bad enough....And she still won't go.

So sandra and jen you both are a different case. You both tried to get what you need and now things are falling into place....But for her....It's all questions and what ifs.

Thats one of my main points. I really don't care if wemon have been giving birth since the beginning of time. But there are also less deaths to the mother and the child now because of doctors and health care.

What mainly concerns me is the insurance once the baby is born. If she won't get it for herself...What's going to make her get it once the child is born. She may not need/want shots, blood drawn, tests done, and stuff like that, but when that baby comes that baby needs that stuff done. If she doesnt' have it it's going to be just as hard for her to get it for the little one. It's not just her it's the baby that really matters.

Anything that has to do with the neglect, or disconcern of the wellbing of the baby really irks me and rubs me the wrong way.

Once again I thank my lucky starts to be living up here where medical is free. Irresponsible fucks piss me off! Sorry

Yeah im not going to keep saying things on this... You clearly didnt understand what I was saying or anything ur stuck on your views and thats you I was just giving my thoughts on it. I love my family to death and I have dealt with an immature cousin who got pregnant and actually lost her baby due to her ignorance. Theres nothing you can do tho thats life and im sorry but you have to understand that. Trust me I know you want to help your family. Family is everything I know that. Theres also the old saying that you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink. I honor what u are trying to do and I hope that your cousin does do what she needs to do. I was just trying to express to you that you shouldnt stress as much as u are and worry yourself cause in in the long run its all up to your cousin. You can tell her over and over untill your blue in the face but ur only going to make urself tierd.
I swear I honor ur effort and what you are doing and im not saying that what she is doing is ok... Try to really feel where im coming from. Ok
-jen

I totally understand what you are going through, I had the same type of problem with my cousin, she ended up having a m/c and then a boy after dragging her to each dr appt which her mom, my aunt paid for as I knew her husband made too much to apply for assistance. I hope that your cousin does not end up with a m/c but hopefully after she has the baby she will wake up and I do hope the baby will be okay, along with your cousin as you well know that the mother controls a lot of the babies functions for example what she eats and how she functions, that is generally why they say try not to get too stressed out if you are pregnant ast he baby picks this up too of course it is not good to stress yourself out pregnant or not. It kind of makes you want to slap your cousin and then hug her. I go through this at work a lot as I am social service worker and a nurse but this is a little bit different as a lot of times it is mainly about the mother and what she gets and not the baby. Please realise that you are only human and that you can only take so much and you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink! But I do understand because she is family and she is having a baby. It is none of my business but is she young , insecure and feeling alone in this pregnancy?
Good luck to you and your cousin!

Not to be rude or anything but im so happy we dont need insuarnce here, well we do but on for certain small thing, precriptions and dental work...

So if you guys want move to canada and get free healthcare lol!!

Gen I dont agree with your cousin you are trying to help here and she is refusing something that is beneficial to her childs health mention joanna to her lol!!

I just wanted to say that I am perfectly willing and capable to help her with her problem. I know, jen, that if she doesn't want the help she isn't going to take it. She doesn't even have to get her ass off the couch for me to help her. That isn't the point I am trying to make.

The point is I am fully capable of having her insurance by the end of the week if not the end of the month. But now all I can think about is that once her baby is born.....What is going to become of it. I am tired of her crying saing that she isnt' even going to know the sex of the baby......And her main concern is that she doesn't want a baby's room green or yellow. She wants to know. Well, wouldnt' that irk you if someone you could help whined to you and cried to you about someting that you have offered time and time again to fix???? Well, it does me.

But at this point, I am more worried about once the baby is born, how is she going to be able to afford insurance if she can't even pay to have a us done??

I have no reason to argue abou it....I worry about her and I may be blue in the face already but I am not going to stop offering to help her and now the little baby that is going to be born, to a mother that won't even help herself.

Sux, I know. It's hard to believe that someone could be that way. But you did say she was really young. No offense to any other young mothers but maybe she's the kind of young girl that seriously has that i'm invincible mentality. Not saying that makes it okay but if so it would be easier to understand why she keeps blowing you off about insurance.


Edited for sp

Even if she doesn't have insurance she could still go to the doctor. To me that is not a valid excuse. I didn't have insurance for the longest time and I needed to go to the .E.R. (this was way before I was pregnant) and my visit and treatment cost about $2000. Well I clearly didn't have $2000 so I set up a billing and payment plan and you can pay as little as $10 a month and yeah, it takes forever to pay off but there's no interest and it doesn't affect your credit and you can even skip months if you can't afford it. So not having insurance is the lamest excuse for skipping prenatal care that i've ever heard.

Is she at least taking vitamins? How does she expect to pay the hospital when it comes time to deliver?

I'm thinking medicaid application...

I really don't know how she is planning on paying for her delivery....But she won't even go to the clinic for help (her reasoning for that: "i am too good to go to a clinic.") she did go to one doc in the beginning and he charged her 300.00 to see her. And she decided that she wasn't going to pay that. She is 18 yo and just plain stupid. I guess.

Is she from the states?? She should be able to get some kind of aid..I have lots friends from ohio & indiana who get help.. Just have to look for it & maybe speak to someone from child services.. She could be maybe using that as an excuse that she doesn't care? :/

Yeah we are from florida, there is a lot of help here. My sister got a lot of help, we could and are willing to get her the help she needs. I really at this point don't think that she cares. I just want her to stop calling me with all her problems...Im not a doctor, I can give her advice and tell her what I think or have heard about stuff but I am not a medical profesional. I can't help her in that way. Yeah I preggers too and she is due 2 months after me, but I can't give her medical advise. ( I am not going to call my doctor everytime she has a problem. I call mine enough as it is.)

For some people here the system works for others it's a harder transaction. I really wasn't bragging about it. But if you can get the help you need it could work out great for you.