Ive been seeing this guy for almost 3
years nowand its been problems
throughought the relationship.He kicked me
out of the house that we stayed in
together because he just didnt want ot
live with me anymore he came up with
stupid stuff for excuses then I found out
I was pregnant I was working a job til
midnight we only lived 3 miles away hed
let me walk home at midnight 3 miles alone
while pregnant he didnt care he yelled at
me for things like not screwing the top on
toothpaste tight enough or eating
something in the refridgerator wihtout
first tellin him he gave me 30 days to
leave he could careless about the bay then
he thought I was goign to lose it cause I
lost my first last year ,also that same
month a girl came to the house and he
admitted that he slept with her and there
was a 3 month old little boy that was his
so I left I went back home lived wiht my
mom the whole pregnancy I had the baby
thats when I got the cals im sorry I miss
you and the baby I want us to get back
together and make a go at it I love you
lets get married and all of that well I
get here and 3 months later same stuff
happening again hes yelling at me all the
time I took the baby to the park and he
yelled at me saying I didnt know if the
girl had insurance or not and that I was
irresponisble for takiin the baby the girl
had insurance which I tried to tell him he
ended up calling me every filthy name in
the book tellin me to shutup and stop
making excuses for what I did he didnt
want me to even talk just listen,again one
day he was drinking out of this ice
pitcher in the fridge it had tea in it but
the lid fell off while he was drinking it
he blamed me cussed me out called me
stupid ,dumb etc, hes flipped me off in
front of his other kids and after I had
the baby I was talkin about a swimsuit and
he said I know your not going to wear
swimsuit with your body hes talkin about
my stomach before I was pregnant I had a
flat stomach now the muscle tone is loose
im working out but im frustrated cause I
dont know how to get back to how I was.He
calls me ugly all the time he even told me
once that his friend thought I was
ugly.Ive never thought of myself as being
abused that is what other people go
through,. You know what I mean its like I
see it in others but not in me.Is this
abuse should I leave the situation?Or stay
for the baby I dont want her wihtout her
father it feel s like I shortchanged her.I
feel really guilty and I dont know what to
do.
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toocrunkfaya05
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Mar 2006 Posts: 49
Yes Posted: 05-16-06 15:23pm
There is verbal abuse and that is what is
happening with u. To stay or go is ur
decision but honestly if u think about the
baby do u want ur child growing up knowing
a father that curses at u and mistreats u
or do u want her to be loved by another
who will treat u and her with respect and
love. If u do leave eventually u wil be
able to explain to her the situations that
u were going thru and why her real father
wasnt there. Good luck
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jerez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 14 Location: US
Boundaries Posted: 05-18-06 12:14pm
You have got to establish boundaries!
Try them with someone else!
He is abusive, and you are either very
naive, or have no confidence.
This person needs help, but then so do
you. Maybe you just need education, so
here it is:
don't get invloved with another person of
this type, to do this you must first get
help for yourself.
Think ahead, think of your child, you owe
your child a good father, not a bad one!
Be picky!
Don't settle for the first person that
comes along.
If you can't set boundaries for you, set
them for your child, what you will or
won't acept. Do you want your child to
grow up thinking this is normal behavior?
I doubt it. Hope not!
It will hurt awhile to leave, but don't
let him back, you are teachng him he can
do this to you over and over!
Don't let anyone mistreat you!
Decide what your values are and your
standards, and don't go for less.
Get the ring before you have an intimate
relationship. Use birth control always,
and condoms.
Make someone show they mean business, if
you buy a home you have to pay earnest
money, your body and life are more
important than a house!
A mere ring isn't good enough, it should
cost a a portion of his yearly income, a
large portion.
It may sound old fashioned, but if a man
really loves you, he will do it, if he is
an honorable man. You don't want an man
that isn't. But you have to set your
standards first, don't be easy!
If a man won't honor you, dump him before
he dumps you, it will make you feel
powerful! Self empowered! Best wishes!
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fairyprincessliz
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 3
<3333 Posted: 05-18-06 12:32pm
Look here babydool u deserve more thna
him. Im sorry u had to go throu that and
to answer ur questio nyes thats abuse. I
only hope that u can realise how horrible
of a perso nhe is I mean I dont know yalls
relationship that much but I do know wht
he did is not right. You can find sumone
who will treat u and ur baby liek a
princess. Talk to friends they will help
u with dealing with things just talk about
it it will make u feel better. I
understand how horrible that is and if I
knew him I woudl personally kick his ass
lol. Please take care and know that what
hes done is wrong and everyoen deserves
better than that.
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confusionisme
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 3
Posted: 05-18-06 13:24pm
In my heart I think I know im being abused
its hard to accept because after he does
it he says hes sorry or he'll say he does
it because what I do and I sometimes think
maybe I did something wrong. I do need
counseling I shouldnt be taking this its
not fair to me or my baby and I need to do
better then this. I just dont know how to
get to the point of being a stronger
person. I love my baby more then life its
self id give my life willingly for her
anything for her and ill do it I want her
to have the best.As a child I was mentally
abused yelled at screamed at and I guess
im used to it being treated bad that
sometimes I dont realize it. Jerez your
right I need to establish boundaries but I
dont know how to do it.
Confusedisme
