Pregnancy Forum - Really Long...having a Hard Time Coping!!

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Q: Really Long...having a Hard Time Coping!!

asked by: Eyes Wide Shut on May 16th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Hey yall....I don't know how easy it's going to be for me to say this..But here goes....

I love my baby with .A.L.L of my heart and would die to see her happy. For the past week she's been acting "colicky". I thought that she wouldn't have colic because it had been 3 weeks. Well I guess I was wrong.

Since I became pregnant, I had this powerful outlook that I could achieve anything. I had her without an epidural and thought if I could do that, than I was capable of damn near everything.

I have a history of depression but thought that it was silly to become depressed after your baby is born. I assumed it would be the most joyful months i'd ever experience. I was on anti depressants 2 years ago and refused to take them because of pride. Now i'm starting to show signs of depression again.

She's stopped sleeping at night and wakes up in 20 minute intervals .Screaming!! Nothing I do soothes her, I mean nothing. She just had a 20 minute screaming bout and I just let her go. Finally I covered her up with her blanket and she stopped immedietly. I've tried everything and i've read everything. My .Fiance is trying to be as supportive as possibble but has found himself becoming frustrated with me.

Now i'm not gonna hurt my baby or myself, I just find myself crying uncontrollably. I want to make her feel better and they're just nothing that works. I could just stuff a bottle in her mouth, but I don't want to make her dependant on a bottle for soothing.

The obstacle that i'm dealing with is letting my doctor know about my depression. I have a serious pride issue and think depression is a major sign of weakness. I'd rahter be depressed than to let him know about it. But then i've read up on post pardom depression and it's extreemely scary!!!

What should I do??!?! I'm going insane!!

Sarah

Replies(9)

lil_blaze2004

replied on May 16th, 2006

Moderator

Omg you sound just like I did after having trey. I need to find my old posts!! Tell your doc, my doc did not want to give me anything till I told him I would jump in front of the damn subway. He gave me some valium because did not want to put me back on anti depressants. Having a child id the hardest thin gto adjust to, but I promise just like veryone told me it will get better. You need to get into a routine with her (trey is almost 11 months old and still gets up 2-3 times a night) but I cope with it much better now. I remmebr wanting to give him to anyone who walked by and I just did not want him or like him much at first. I always cried and... Girl....E-mail me so I can talk to u privately!

n0rthernbelle

replied on May 16th, 2006

Experienced User

I'm sorry for what you're going through right now. I think it's great you can identity what the problem is - that's the first step to getting better. You say you have a pride issue and think depression is a sign of weakness, but I think not treating depression when you're depressed is what weakness can be better defined as. Society today is much more aware of what post-partum depression is, thanks to people like brooke shields who have documented their struggle with it. It's important to remember that it doesn't mean you're weak or a bad mother. You are a human being dealing with human emotions. I really wish you the best of luck and hope that for your sake, your baby's, and your fiance's, you talk to your doctor about possible treatment. It's the most responsible and loving thing you can do for each of you, especially your baby.

HcoBrunette06

replied on May 16th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

I didnt read other peoples posts so sorry if I repeat anything.

I think you should talk to your doctor about getting some meds to help out with your depression, don't think its a sign of weakness to use the pills. You have a pride issue, well look at it this way. Have pride because you got through it... Have pride that when you take the medication it makes you feel better and hopefully itll be over soon. If you keep waiting youre still gonna be unhappy, and waiting won't fix anything and itll still bring your pride down ya know?

I'd take the pills... And then have pride that you got through it =)

Mabel

replied on May 16th, 2006

Moderator

Oh sweetie, i've been there. In fact, I didn't go to the doctor for 4 mnths after I had my daughter I was so depressed and somehow I was anxious about what the doctor would say/do.

Post partum depression is very common and nothing to be ashamed of. No matter what that icky .Tom .Cruise says, taking medication for .P.P.D is not anything to feel ashamed or embarrassed over.

Ask for help when you need it. Easier said than done, I know. Be good to yourself and go to the doctor, at least to discuss your feelings.

Good luck! (((hugs)))

Eyes Wide Shut

replied on May 16th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Thanks Yall

I have a problem showing my .T.R.U.E feelings to everyone. I don't like people to know that i'm unhappy. I like to joke around and make people laugh. But that's impossible when you feel like blah/on edge on the inside.

My .Fiance is going to take the rest of this week off to help me out more. He sees what i'm going through and it's starting to make him upset. He's a .Pices and very emotional.

Since she's been born, i've had to be the strong link. When she had .Jaundice that continually got worse, I had to be the one to reassure everyone that she would be fine. When she got .Thrush, it was the same thing. It just seems like now, after trying to be so strong through all of the health scares, i'm breaking down.

I hate to cry, but it so involuntary it's disguisting. The first thing out of many people's mouths is...'oh you can't handle it??' and I instantly burst into tears. I am one of the strongest people emotionally that I know and it's so weird to let everyone see me like this. I try to hide it with a smile, but you can see it in my eyes.

I think that if I don't start feeling better by .Friday morning, i'm going to give my .Dr a call. My .Dr was soo non chalant about the depression (i'm guessing because it's extreemly common) that it kinda makes me feel less anxious about bringing it up. I just don't want him to look down on me for breaking apart after being so strong.

I'm really glad that yall are helping me through this. I really need some positive outlooks on this situation. I'll never be able to express my gratitude enough!!

Sarah

HcoBrunette06

replied on May 16th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Good luck honey I hope you start to feel better soon =)

Lalee

replied on May 16th, 2006

Active User, very eHealthy

Awwww, hang in there hun! You know you have people here for you when you need us!

erinjacob

replied on May 16th, 2006

Experienced User

Jess

Evry one gets deprested after heving there baby but they say if it last mor ethen 2 weeks see a doc your baby feels your stress an anger if you try to be calm while holdin her I no its hard but it does work dont let the cryin get to you cryin wont hurt them m,aybe hav a warm relaxin bath or shower with her it may calm you both my first did it for 6 months what hell but you get through it

Becky

replied on May 17th, 2006

Especially eHealthy

Darling I had ppstnatal depression with my daughter and I was so close to giving her up for adoption. You need to go to the dr's. I luckily didn't have it with my son but I know exactly how u feel

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