Hey yall....I don't know how easy it's going to be for me to say this..But here goes....
I love my baby with .A.L.L of my heart and would die to see her happy. For the past week she's been acting "colicky". I thought that she wouldn't have colic because it had been 3 weeks. Well I guess I was wrong.
Since I became pregnant, I had this powerful outlook that I could achieve anything. I had her without an epidural and thought if I could do that, than I was capable of damn near everything.
I have a history of depression but thought that it was silly to become depressed after your baby is born. I assumed it would be the most joyful months i'd ever experience. I was on anti depressants 2 years ago and refused to take them because of pride. Now i'm starting to show signs of depression again.
She's stopped sleeping at night and wakes up in 20 minute intervals .Screaming!! Nothing I do soothes her, I mean nothing. She just had a 20 minute screaming bout and I just let her go. Finally I covered her up with her blanket and she stopped immedietly. I've tried everything and i've read everything. My .Fiance is trying to be as supportive as possibble but has found himself becoming frustrated with me.
Now i'm not gonna hurt my baby or myself, I just find myself crying uncontrollably. I want to make her feel better and they're just nothing that works. I could just stuff a bottle in her mouth, but I don't want to make her dependant on a bottle for soothing.
The obstacle that i'm dealing with is letting my doctor know about my depression. I have a serious pride issue and think depression is a major sign of weakness. I'd rahter be depressed than to let him know about it. But then i've read up on post pardom depression and it's extreemely scary!!!
What should I do??!?! I'm going insane!!
Sarah