Broken Hearted Forum - Can't Let Go Please Help

My name is kezia, I know that noone knows the answer perhaps to the questions that I have but any advice but be really helpful.

I was in a relationship with a man for about 2 years. At first everything was wonderful. We spent all our time together when we got the chance. We became closer than just boyfriend/girlfriend. We were falling in love and we were becoming best friends. He was the one I called when I needed anything and he called me when he needed anything. Anyway everything was so great, I was so happy, I couldnt believe life could really be that great.

After months and months of dating he decided to quit his job because he was not happy with it. At the time I was finishing up high school, so I was busy with that during the day. He was out of work for about 3 months and we were still doing great. He was having trouble finding a job so I begged my stepdad to get him on at one of the companies that my step dad managed. He got my boyfriend the job, it was a good job that paid really good but the draw back to it was that it was 3rd shift.

After he started this job he became a whole new person, it seemed like it was all over night. We started fighting all the time, he became really unreliable and he stayed really tired all the time. I tried to just be patient because I know that 3rd shift is really really hard to get used to and some ppl just camt ever get in the swing of it.

I found out that he had gotten me a engagement ring(although he hadnt given it to me yet, I knew he bought it). I tried so hard to keep peace with us but it wasn't working. He had started his 3rd shift job in january of 2005 and about the end of march I could tell something bad was going to happen. On april 9,2005 he didn't show up to get me as planned instead he called and told me that he loved me with all of his heart and he told me that for the past few months he had been praying about our relationship and he just didnt know what else to do but for us to break up. After we got off the phone I burst out in tears and went straight to my room and overdosed on pills. My sister found me in the bathroom in the floor having shaking and I was turning blue and was unconscience.

I spent the night in the er recovering. I was sent home the next day, and to make a long story short I was miserable. I didn't hear from him for almost 2 months and one day he called me out of the blue. We talked a while and the next day I went to meet him and we both hugged and cried and talked about how much we missed each other. We lost contact again until about spetember of 05'. We started hanging out a lot in september and started dating again on oct.29,2005. I was really happy but things were not like they used to be of course. We broke up in december shortly before christmas. We went 2 weeks without talking that time and he called me on christmas and told me that he missed me so much. We were talking a lot and hanging out a lot up until last month (april 06'). I was really drunk at a friends house and I was so out of it, I was calling his name so my friend picked up my cell phone and got his number and called him. He came over to help me sober up and to help get me home b/c it was like 2 a.M.

Anyway I had a ring on my finger that a guy friend had gotten me for christmas, he was just a friend and bought me a ring just as a friend thing. My ex saw the ring on my finger and took it off my finger but I was so out of it I didnt realize. I begged him that night for us to get back together and he told me he would call me the next day and we would discuss getting back together. 3 days passed and I noticed my ring was missing and that I hadn't heard from him. Then, he sent me a picture of him holding my ring on my cell phone and asked me where I got it. I tried to explain that a guy friend gave it to me and that he could call the guy and ask him if he didnt beleive me. He accused me of having a boyfriend and hung up. I didnt hear from him for a month up until a few days ago. He told me that he still has my ring and that he still don't believe me.

Anyway, I have been miserable this whole year. I miss him every second of every day. I can't concentrate at school or work. I have not been on a date at all since me and him and I dont even have a desire to look at another guy. My heart is with my ex and I don't know what to do. It has been a year and my heart has not healed at all. I know that he loves me and that he has a hard time with work and bills and all that and I don't want me and him to end on bad terms but like I said what do I do? I love him with all my heart, and I am moving this july with my sister about 2 hours away from here to go to college. I don't want to leave with him mad at me and I don't want to leave thinking there might be a chance for us. I have no idea how to go about handling this.

I apologize for this being so long but I wanted the whole outline of the story to be out there so you all would understand. Please please please give me any advice at all.