Well I am reporting this problem as I am
going through depression a lot.Well and I
need cure for this.Let me introduce you
about myself as I am 21 year old studying
engineering.I dont have any bad addiction
like alcohole,drugs etc.I am good at
painting since when I was in 1st class in
school but I left drawing since 5 years
& when I was in high school I addicted
to internet because I want to be webmaster
so I surf a lot and gather much knowledge
about computers,music and designing.I
designed more than 20 websites and also
making music on computers with help of
softwares and synthesizers as I am
house,techo musician.I also worked on many
musician message boards & technical
support forums as moderator and really
got much knowledge about computers and
internet and I give my knowledge to others
as much as possible.But still its not
enough as far as home work is concerned I
ignored mathamatics but I never ignored
science and history,geography I done top
in highschool on those three subjects and
let me tell you when the last semister of
my high school came I was not prepared for
that exam I just finished the whole
syllabusin 2 weeks and scored 67% which I
usually score between 83-86 % but suddenly
my graph goes down and my confidence level
also.I was not going to take admission to
engineering after high school because I
really got upset with my internet
addiction and poor scores so I decided to
do b.S.Computer science.But when I was
going to attempt semister of bs in
computer science my parents told me to
join engineering college for the
electronics engineering course and I
joined.Yeah I know it is miracle that
passed out high school by studying in a 2
week.
But when I joined engineering my bad time
is started I unable to pass out in
matahmatics subjects as I ignored it in
high school and since 2 years I am giving
the same subjects examination.All students
in my batch are going to pass out and
going to get thier degrees in next year
but I am still doing first year of
engineering.I am really bored and
irritated with same books and exam papers
and I failed usually with 2 to 3 marks I
dont why?With that and feel very guilty
about myself.Actually person like me
should need to give up with the life but I
am alive because of my parents becuase
every person on earth is alive for some
cause and I dont see myself on any postion
,i dont wanna live life depending on
others or as unsuccesful person .I dont
want to hurt my parents also for any
reason so thats why I never tried to
sucide yet.I never done any good thing for
society or for my parents,i never made a
single person on earth happy but also I
never behave like selfish I just kept
myself as question mark and let the things
happens in its way.
Well what do you think what do I need to
do?What will be my future?As I got much
failure nobody is going to accept me for
the engineering job,i have to stand on my
feet as my father is not highly paid
position.Is computer or music is root
cause of this? Do I need to get away from
these but I am much strong on these sides
but these are weakness of my career
too.How to get rid of internet
addiction?Some people after reading this
post will say that whatever happens
happens for reason,but can I ask this
whole disaster happen for what reason?Yeah
I know I made my life worst but is there
any way I can survive or I have to give
up?
Well I need some career counselor as well
as doctors help so how can I get out of
this depression because this depression
made a lot negative attitude inside.I dont
know if this failure remains forever then
my spirit to fight for life will also
reduced and there will be no good thing to
leave on earth.Well I dont believe in
god.So I never go to church or some temple
to relax mind.And as failured person I
dont have friends which some time ago I
was having many (when I was scoring
80-85%).
Can you tell me what the helll I am doing
?I am doing the right things or do I need
to change these things and how? Do I
need to continue with computers and music
or need to think about my career in
engineering.As I am 21 now learning after
22 with some other subjects or degree is
possible or can I able to do it?Well my
head is really full of questions.And pls
take my post serious cause I am in such
bad condition.Hope many of you help me
also anyone of u know a doctor or career
counsellor so pls tell them view this
post.
Thank you.----anishak
|
purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-10-04 10:51am
You ask what you should do & say you
haven't done any good for anyone, well
like it or not here's my comments &
advice.
1) you helped people via music &
computer knowledge & by doing as your
parents wanted even though you knew
engineering wasn't what you wanted.
2) now if you had wanted to be an engineer
or had any real intention of being one you
obviously have the brains to have done it
3 years ago, you could have gotten help
with the maths!! You chose not to.
3) you have to decide whose life you're
living, yours or your parents?
4) you have to decide what you want,
obviously it's music & computing!!!!
5) you need to see if you can transfer any
subject units over to a computing degree,
if yes, then you decide, if no then you
decide what other jobs you could do that
you could use computing &/or music.
6) youi have to accept that parents are
human & many parents make their kids
do courses that are wrong for them, but
your future is in your hands, only you can
make the necessary decisions to change the
path your life in is on & go forward
happily.
|
anishakulkarni
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 11
Posted: 01-14-04 04:21am
Well I would like to thank you but do you
tink there is enough talent lef in me as
faras study is concerned.
|
qt3
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Nov 2003 Posts: 264
Welcome to the Boards Posted: 01-15-04 02:18am
Certainly you have the talent to do
whatever you want but quit being so hard
on yourself! From the sound of your note
you are your own worst enemy. Lighten up
on yourself and relax and I think you will
find yourself and your purpose. I think
purple gave you a lot of good advice to
think about too. You sound more confused
than depressed to me.... I'm a big fan of
cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt) so you
may want to look into to it as it teaches
you tools to think more accurately and
reduce the stress in your life. Good luck
:d
|
purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 01-15-04 10:04am
Yes!! you most
definitely do have the ability to study
left in you; if it's studying something
you want to study!! :d
i agree with qt3 you are being your own
worst enemy, lighten up & as for not
having anywhere to go & relax (like a
temple because you don't believe in god)
haven't you ever been to a park or a
forest, or even a movie & i'm sure
you relax when you listen to music!! (you
can relax while doing something fun or a
hobby etc too).
You will build up renew friendships when
you are doing things you like &
enjoying life, it will just happen.
So take our advice, make some decisions,
relax & stop being so mean to
yourself.
|
anishakulkarni
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 11
Thanks Posted: 01-18-04 10:17am
Thanks for helping me.Now I m failed this
year so I am doing job to clear up my mind
to relax.Well lets see how things
goes.Well thanks you for advice.
|
anishakulkarni
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2004 Posts: 11
Thanks Posted: 01-18-04 10:18am
Thanks for helping me.Now I m failed this
year so I am doing job to clear up my mind
to relax.Well lets see how things
goes.Well thanks you for advice.
you most
definitely do have the ability to study
left in you; if it's studying something
you want to study!! :d