I am 17 years old and I havent lived with
my biological family since I was 12. In
my life I have lost 13 friends to suicide
and other things. I was very close to all
of them and just two days ago marked one
year of my closest friends suicide. I
have had many things happen to me,
especially as a child. I got molested 3
times and I dont know who did it, for that
reason I kept my mouth shut for many
years. I finally told people and they
have been trying to help me and I want
help but then I get very defensive and I
block everything and everyone out of my
life. I dont want anyones help or
attention. I have tried to committ
suicide 6 times in the last 5 years. I am
currently suicidal. I cut myself every
night and some nights, most nights I just
feel like killing myself. Is this
depression? Whats wrong with me? How do
I get help? Thanks
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Nano
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 May 2006 Posts: 14
Posted: 05-24-06 08:45am
Hi there,
yes this seems like severe depression to
me. You need help! Keeping stuff to
yourself will not help you. You need to
talk to someone, maybe ask your gp to
refer you to a psychiater. No reason to
be ashamed, there are many people in your
situation. You can get over this!
Try to be positive, get out of there.
Let me know how it goes or if you have any
other questions that I might be able to
answer (i'm not a docter though).
Regards
nano
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rinsha
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 May 2006 Posts: 305 Location: Alabama
Posted: 05-24-06 09:38am
Hi,
yes I would say the same this sever
depression, and you have every right to
be. It sounds like you have had a very
hard life. And losing your friend that
had to be terrible too.
I don't blame you for being defensive when
people try to help. I have alittle
advice, I used to feel like you do and I
used to cut myself it felt like a release
of the pain I felt. I felt like no one
understood me. I started writting
poetry. Some days I didn't write at all,
but somedays when I felt like I didn't
won't to live life anymore I would start
writting the way I felt. I still have
this notebook I have had if for about 4 or
5 years now. Writting can help.
Have you ever talked to a doctor about how
you feel? Because they could prescribe
you something for depression, I have been
on several different types of depression
medication. And some have helped and
some haven't. But I am sure if you told
your doctor how you felt they would try to
help you. Remember you are never alone.
I used feel exactly like you are
discribing yourself. I was never
molested. I lost my mother at the age of
9 and she was the only person I had ever
cared about, she died in a car accident
after her death I just didn't care anymore
or want to live. But luckily I managed
to get threw it and never came out and
told anyone about my cutting habit until I
was 16, thats when they gave me something
for depression..
But please remember there are people who
care, and are willing to take the time out
to help you. It won't change over night,
but if you have someone to talk to I
promise you will feel so much better.
Because when I opened up finally I didn't
feel alone for the first time since I was
9, I actually realized somebody
understood.
If you would ever like to talk to anyone
or need a friend, you could write me my
email address is treys
_girl06@yahoo.Com or send me a
private message. I promise if you write
me and would like to talk I will write you
back.
I hope things get better for you. And
remember your not alone. :)
