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trina1

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Sex-ed Begins At Home??? Posted: 05-25-06 15:11pm


This was discussed on another board and I thought it interesting. Most agree that education is key to helping prevent unwanted pregnancy, std's, etc. Actually though....Shouldn't that education begin at home? As parents isn't it our responsibility to talk to our kids about sex? So many parents just leave that responsibility to the schools....And then cry foul when their child comes home pregnant. Should parents be where kids get the majority of their sex ed information? Do you think if parents took a more active roll in teaching their kids these things there would be less std's and abortions? What do you think?

Carifairy

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Posted: 05-25-06 15:49pm


I do think sex ed 'should' start at home. I had a nurse as a mother, so we had very detailed sexual education starting at an early age. I knew about condoms, birthcontrol, std's, why it is so important to have a pap smear every year. The schools more or less just don't give good info..Some schools do! Some school systems do give great information to students, but not all schools do. Also, some parents are not comfortable talking about sex with their children, which is a shame, but I think more pressure should be on sex education at home too. There are plenty of websites that have great teen health sexual information, and websites that give honest info about std's etc.. Would I theoretically want to see a 13 year old having sex? Ummm no. But I would rather see them having safe sex to prevent pregnancy and std's, and with safe sex aboriton rates drop.

Izzy

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Posted: 05-25-06 17:17pm


Sex education starts in the home and remains in the home, why should I have my kids subjected to perverse sex education by perverted school teachers and the likes, the sex ed classes are geared to sexualise young children make them active at a younger age, why.... Because those who are teaching sex ed or compiled the programmes are all bloody pedo's

trina1

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Posted: 05-25-06 17:33pm

izzy wrote:

sex education starts in the home and remains in the home, why should I have my kids subjected to perverse sex education by perverted school teachers and the likes, the sex ed classes are geared to sexualise young children make them active at a younger age, why.... Because those who are teaching sex ed or compiled the programmes are all bloody pedo's

izzy....I don't agree. I think you are commendable for teaching sex-ed in your home and with it your values and morals. I also...Like you....Believe that is where children should get the majority of their sex-ed. However....Many kids don't come from homes where their parents choose to teach them or maybe they just don't feel comfortable doing so. When the parents shurk that responsibility we have one of two choices....Sex-ed in the schools....Or our kids learning from their friends (i.E. One immature mind teaching another). I don't believe all those that teach sex-ed are pedo's....In fact sex-ed is a tough course to teach....And most teachers are not thrilled having to be in some cases.....The first ones to ever approach the subject with some of these kids. My opinion....Sex-ed should (in a perfect world) be first taught at home with the information that individual parents want their kids to know. Then when faced with sex information either at school or from their friends....The kids have an open line of communication with their parents to ask questions. Sex-ed in the schools should be the secondary information kids get....Home should be the primary.

Carifairy

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Posted: 05-25-06 17:39pm


Precisely, I do believe home should be number 1, that and of course maybe the young woman gynecologist. By doing birth contro counselling, I am also kind of teaching sexual education, and I am in no way a pedo. Teaching children how to protect themselves is not pedophilic, it is smart and common sense. Women need to know about birth control pills, condoms, and std's. Young women also need ot know the importance of their yearly gyno exam too.

Izzy

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Posted: 05-25-06 17:48pm


The sex education should be moved from "how to put a condom on" to respect for the opposite sex, teaching about sex in a loving environment, teaching what love is would be a good start. When I was at school we were taught about the biology of it all using frogs as our example, from that we knew enough of the biology to understand that should we have sex a baby is a possible out come.... A child does not need to know how to give a blowjob or stimulate the clitoris or how to "relations with the same sex" now if a child knows a baby is possible from sex and is not allowed contraception, do you think they are likely to have sex, they maybe young but they are not stupid, but if contraception is not only availible to them but is actually give to them free, well are we not just promoting the premiscutiy and sexualisation of children... I am not saying that all of the teachers are pedo's but it seems that those who designed the programmes are. Parents and teachers and society walks a fine line, we have to teach children about sex, it should be done in an apropriate manor and we should have enough faith and trust in our children that they although young are capable of making the correct choice, giving them contraception only tempts them to make the incorrect choice

Carifairy

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Posted: 05-25-06 18:53pm


Teens and women are going to have sex, yes without birth control! Look at the pregnant teenagers board, how many of them say "we don't use birth control, we just take our chances because I don't want anyone to know" ummmm you know, I would rather them be on birth control.And taught how to use condoms! Yes every 16 year should know how to put on a condom, I knew when I was 11 years old!!!!! Yet I wiated until marriage to have sex!! No showing me how to use a condom did not make me want to have sex, it made me smart and informed..

Izzy

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Posted: 05-26-06 06:06am


We have to look at how sex is promoted in society, if the media and other businesses are continusly bombarding our children with sex then obviously our children are going to be encouraged to do it, but the media and other companies will continue to use sex as much as they can...Why? Because its a well known fact in business that "sex sells" unless we force our government to put restraints on how companies can sell a product, be that a newspaper a tv programme, magazine or whatever, then our children will always be at risk....Contracpetion and perverse sex ed is not going to elivate the problem only increase it. Also we should either make the media ignore celebrity sex lives or make examples of the celebrities when they hit the papers, its not good for our children to see the media glorifying "elton john" when he has been having sex with rent boys in scotland.

Cambion

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Posted: 05-26-06 09:27am

As far as the original topic, yi'm sort of on the fence about it. Kids should definitely be taught about sex, but I know kids probably get freaked out if their parents start telling them about it. Let's face it - kids don't want to hear about sex from their parents, and this is why I really wish schools would quit skimping on sex education. Honestly, my mom never told me about the "birds and the bees" and sex education in health class was basically a repeat of the crap I learned in biology. We weren't taught how to put on a condom, where to get emergency contraception, or how birth control works. I learned every last thing I know from the internet, sadly. But I would rather be as informed as I am than to have found out the hard way that you can get pregnant the first time like a lot of dumb teen girls do.

Quote:

that's a little judgmental, is it not? To educate kids about safe and healthy sexual practices is a lot different from "sexualizing" them. Kids should be educated about this stuff by the time they get into high school, even if it's just a parent leaving a book about the pros and cons of teen sex in their kid's room and hoping they read it.

Izzy

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Posted: 05-26-06 10:09am


There is a lot of difference between sex ed that teaches how to put a vibrator up your partners anus, how to fist, how to safely execute s&m ect and teaching how babies are concieved.

Carifairy

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Posted: 05-26-06 10:32am


Ummm I do not know where you get that education involves fisting etc.... But sex does not always have to involve conception and children..Do you not teach your children that they can get married, and wait 2-3 years and have babies after they have had time to enjoy their spouse? There are birth cotnrol pills..Women are not solely for baby producing, women have dreams goals, careers, things they want before they wants to have kids..Young couples often want to wait 5 years for children so that they can buy a house together etc.. Surely you know that teaching young women about contraception is important.

nightangel73

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Posted: 05-26-06 20:19pm


More than the education that parents just need to watch their kids. My mom was one that whenever I went out asked me who I was going out with, when I was going to come back and with whom and so on. My mom was very bold on telling me very often to not have sex with guys before married. I didn't dare to disobey my mother. Don't want to imagine what would be of me if she ever found any contraceptives around. In fact one time my dermatologist prescribed me bc pills for the acne. I had to hide them very well because if my mom saw them the she wasn't going to believe me I got them for acne. I was so scared that I only used them for one month back then lol. As I became more independant and my parents weren't near in college and the afterwards religion played the most important role in staying out sex.

sandyallen

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Posted: 05-26-06 22:24pm


Trina I do agree with you in a lot of ways but their are some parents that need to be educated also. Some kids that have been over to my house and do not even know how to sit down to a meal and discuss anything, they say, gosh, we are not used to this, some parents do not want to be bothered, some do not know how and it is a shame. I do believe that sex-ed should begin at home. Izzy, sex-ed is not about teaching young kids to have sex. We do not teach them how to give blowjobs or rectal sex or any of that stuff, that was rude and disgusting they do that on there own, mainly from others, sometimes the other places too. We do not tell anyone to go have sex, we always suggest that they wait, I teach and I am no pedo. Cairifairy is very correct too!

nightangel73

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Posted: 05-26-06 23:22pm

carifairy wrote:

ummm I do not know where you get that education involves fisting etc....

But sex does not always have to involve conception and children..Do you not teach your children that they can get married, and wait 2-3 years and have babies after they have had time to enjoy their spouse?

waiting 2-3 years after married is not only for enjoying the spouse but for adjusting to being married. We do know that conception and children doesnt always happen with sex hence the use of contraception but if one has sex one has to be prepared for the what if pregnancy happens. That was a main question that me and my bf discussed before ever having sex. I told him you know i'm going to use the pill but you know it can fail so what will happen if it does? He answered me I am not going to run away, we will have the baby. Then because I got this answer I made the choice of going for it
.

trina1

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Posted: 05-27-06 00:56am

sandyallen wrote:

trina I do agree with you in a lot of ways but their are some parents that need to be educated also. Some kids that have been over to my house and do not even know how to sit down to a meal and discuss anything, they say, gosh, we are not used to this, some parents do not want to be bothered, some do not know how and it is a shame. I do believe that sex-ed should begin at home.

Izzy, sex-ed is not about teaching young kids to have sex. We do not teach them how to give blowjobs or rectal sex or any of that stuff, that was rude and disgusting they do that on there own, mainly from others, sometimes the other places too. We do not tell anyone to go have sex, we always suggest that they wait, I teach and I am no pedo.

Cairifairy is very correct too!

sandy....You are right in the fact that often parents just don't discuss things with their kids. I think we live in a world that is so fast paced...That often parents and kids barely see each other....Let alone sit down and have a conversation. Bottom line....No matter how much we try to sheild our children from the world....One way or another....They are going to learn. I feel it is better to have that open line of communication, so that at least our kids know they can come talk to us.

And izzy....As far as sex-ed being taught in the schools....I have to agree that in most places....Sex-ed is little more than a biology class....Where only the very basics are taught. As most have agreed here....Bc and birth control methods are just briefly touched on in the schools, so common sense tells you that if this is the case....I doubt they are jumping from basic biology into kinky sex practices. Most of that....Like it or not....Our kids are learning from their friends or sources outside the school system....Not in a sex-ed class. Sex-ed is not making these kids hypersexual....It is just giving them some basics facts.

I think as parents....If we want our kids to be smart about sex and safe sex practices....It is up to us to give them the information. If we don't want our kids having sex....Then don't just say...."don't have sex"....But have a conversation about pregnancy, aids, and stds. In the end....It is going to be up to our kids whether they have sex or not....As we can't be with them 24/7. But if they do choose to have sex....At least they will have the information they need to make educated choices.

Meandering Away

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Posted: 05-27-06 02:52am


I agree sex ed should begin at home but not stay there, we all have our sexual hang ups and try as we might those hangups will be a part of it and they will also direct how we teach the child about sex.My children are very clued up about sex, all aspects my boys have been told you get someone pregnant then you stand by that child, whatever becomes of them and the woman makes no difference they stand by that child and support it.The girls know about pregnancy and abortion they also know that I will support them 110% in which ever decision they made, I would go with them and support them through all appointments wether for keeping the child or wether to terminate, I would be there for my girls no matter.They all know about the different types of contraception available and also that a condom is the only contraception to protect against not just pregnancy but stds as well.Some people say I do not like/cannot use latex, well there are other products out there that you can use, I know in america they charge for everything but over here in the uk the charge [ if you have to pay ] is minimal and it is like saying to a brewery I cannot drink lager so the price of jack daniels should be the same as lager.Life costs if you want to stay safe then you may have to pay out, does he goverment subsidise house/personal alarms, does the goverment run self defence classes free for all women, no they do not, if you want to be safe you may have to pay.What if they cannot afford it I hear you cry [ damn those voices in my head lol ] well maybe that is where the fight should start the pro contraception battle and that could be the first battle both sides can join forces in fighting, onwards and upwards I say. Ps please be civil with your replies I am feeling a bit fragile this morning, thank god its saturday.

nightangel73

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Posted: 05-27-06 06:14am

cowboys wrote:

the girls know about pregnancy and abortion they also know that I will support them 110% in which ever decision they made, I would go with them and support them through all appointments wether for keeping the child or wether to terminate, I would be there for my girls no matter.

let's have this straight here so what you are saying is that if your girls wants to have an abortion you will support such decision? Then you are not pro-life but pro-choice. If a daugther of mine ever goes for an abortion that will be against my will, I will not disowned her of course or abandon her but no way I would applaud her. To go with her to an abortion clinic is evil as doing it. If she does it would have to be on my back that I don't know of. I am much surprised to hear ya cowboys. My mom has me forbidden to have an abortion, she has been clear on that topic with me.

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Posted: 05-27-06 11:45am


Your parents can forbid you to eat prok if they do not believe in eating pork, but does that mean you cannot have your own beliefs???? Look, what would you rather have your daughter do nightangel? All teens pretty much know you do not need parental cosnent for an abortion, you get a judicial bypass. Would you rather them tell you, and you be informed? Or would you rather them hide behind your back? Hide behind your back then later in life say "mom I wanna be a better parent than you because you could not be there for me no matter what"...

sandyallen

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Posted: 05-27-06 17:41pm


I agree .Cairyfairy, you can tell a kid not to do drugs, not to have sex, not to shoplift and on and on and most kids are a little rebellious and are going to do what they want to do, just like you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink, they are going to do what they want and when they want most of the time. You cannot watch your kids 24/7 about all you can do is to try and lead them in the right direction and hope they continue on, heck, noone is perfect and kids are kids you just need to be there when they need you to be there and hope for the best and keep and open mind and say heck, I might have done the same thing too, open up a little. I guess when you have older children you learn a lot, you are not only teaching them but they are teaching you as well, I know this for a fact. We are always learning.

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Posted: 05-27-06 19:08pm


You can tell a child not to do many things: "don't do drugs" "don't have sex and/or unprotected sex" "don't drink and drive" etc... But what my parents did that worked wonders is they told me why. They told me why I shouldn't do drugs, drink, or have unprotected sex. "telling" without giving a reason is useless, because the child has no idea what the consequences of the action are.