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emeraldcitydweller

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Posted: 05-30-06 13:34pm

cowboys wrote:

emeraldcitydweller wrote:

cowboys wrote:

first of all I do have a life and a very fullfilling one thanks for asking.I do have a sixteen year old daughter and if she came home pregnant then I would support her, that does not mean I would be a round the clock babysitter for her [ though she has done plenty of babysitting her siblings for me ] nor does it mean she would have an easy time of it, though she has more sense than to get caught through recklessness, she would be the one getting up to do the feeds in the night , she would be the one who feeds, changes and looks after her child.I would be there for her if she needed advice or help, now you mention financiall help rather than just kicking them out, which in my opinion [ which I in no way claim to be law or fact it is just my opinion ] is wrong and is making her choices very limited, I would not expect an adult to have to search for somewhere to live/ work whilst pregnant or nursing, let alone a teenage child.If you were to support her, support does not mean doing everything for her then so be it but you never mentioned support of any kind just kicking her out.

someone who is old enough to have a sixteen year old is calling people muppets? Wow.

Anyway look, good for you, but if your teenage daughter did end up pregnant, I would have to wonder how decent of a parent you really were anyway. Yes, accidents happen, but good parenting, open, honest communication, and facing reality (i.E. Your teenager is probably going to want to have sex whether you tell her to or not, so at least make sure she knows how to protect herself and prevent unwanted pregnancies, and be someone who she can go to if she needs contraceptives) keep kids from ending up pregnant. Teenage pregnancies don't happen just because it's an unavoidable occurance. They happen because teenagers have sex when they're afraid to go to their parents for contraceptives because they know their parents will try to stop them and they know nothing about sex-ed.

so has a parent I can stop her contraception from failing can I , I can stop her boyfriends condom from breaking can I , wow I never knew I had that power.My daughter came to us when she was fifteen and asked to go on the pill, our answer was go the doctors, in the civilised world girls do not need to ask for contraception off their parents, we are not doctors nor are we pharmacists, they can go to the doctors of their own accord and we will not be informed of the matter.My daughter knows all about sex ed and also is double sure as she is on the pill and also makes sure that he has a condom.That is being responsible she does not want a baby yet.I have taught her all about sex and how to protect herself.She has learnt well and still if all those contraceptives failed and she did get pregnant, why should I not support her, she has done everything possible to avoid it and if she decides she cannot abort then I would support that choice.

it's good that you're realistic. I don't think girls should have to go to their parents to get contraception either, but unfortunately a lot of places require it. I had my first gyn appointment at sixteen and my mom had to schedule it for me. If the medical community and the government are going to require parents to be part of the equation, then parents should be supportive of their kids using the pill or condoms or what have you.

Good for you then.

Tylanas

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Posted: 05-30-06 14:04pm

nightangel73 wrote:

lolbahlolbah147 wrote:

nightangel73 wrote:

my mom has me forbidden to have an abortion, she has been clear on that topic with me.

so what? Your mom can forbid you to do many things. It isn't her choice. Whjat a great mother you will be... Not! Hopefully, you will be cursed with failed pregnancy after failed pregnacy. No child deserves to be brought up knowing they are not allowed free will to choice things they want. Going to forbid them to go to a college of their choice? Going to forbid them to marry a person you don't like? What else are you going to control in your child's life under the cover of "if you don't do what I want, you will be unloved?"

of course I am not going to forbid them to go to the college of their choice. If I don't like the person whom they going to marry, no I wouldn't forbid them to marry them, I just would not give of my money for such wedding if they ask. The love will be there for them no matter what. And no absolutetly with me my kids won't do whatever they want like that. I was raised not being able to do whatever I wanted and today I am succesful woman.

no, you'll just move in with her and prevent her from having sex with him in her own house. That's just ridiculous. If you think premarital sex is wrong, then don't do it. You're old enough that you shouldn't need your parents there to act as your conscience. If you had real morals and real ethics, then you'd be able to control yourself on your own. Mummy and daddy have no right to tell you what to do once you're an adult.

nightangel73

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Posted: 05-30-06 15:53pm

eiri wrote:

so what do you mean eiri that because I am an adult what my parent say to me shall not be important? And no I wouldn't move with her so she can't have sex with the guy. It's useless because I have had plenty of sex in my house in spite my parents being there lol (i just wait til they are sleep :p). And I think premarital is wrong idea before the age of 25. And I know how to control myself as I never had sex before I was 30 years old. I can give anyone classes on how to control yourself hun.

sandyallen

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Posted: 05-30-06 16:44pm


You can give classes on not to have sex and how to control yourself but that does not mean that your students will pay attention. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink. I had a situation that came up here awhile ago, about a year ago with my daughter and she thought that she was pregnant well we talked and talked an she is over 16y/o, she talked about abortion, she talked about having it, I even talked to her about me temporarily adopting it but we both felt that it was unfair to all of us but I did tell her that I would be there for her if she needed me to and so would the father-to-be. You know that no one is ever good enough for your children young or old but I am fortunate in that way as I have always gotten along with both of my kids friends and their boyfriends and girlfriends or at least put them on a toleration basis for my young adults but anyway she was not pregnant, it was just some stress she was under at work and school and a few other things as we all went to a dr here to find out for sure and she started her period before she went back to college and work. Neither one of my young adult children have had a lot of relationships as most of them have been long term relationships.

Cambion

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Posted: 05-30-06 19:15pm

Quote:

i will not debate with a psycho who calls me a peadophile you are just sick and twisted and I will no longer respond to you.I do not have to prove you are wrong you do that all by yourself, good day to you now leave me alone.

this is all the proof we need that you're making things up - I never called you a pedophile in any of my posts, nor did I imply it. I would suggest acting like an adult instead of making up lies like a mindless child, but I should know better than to ask that of someone like you.

Quote:

cambion you are indeed forcing your daughter into making the choice you want by the fact that you would make her homeless if she continued the pregnancy yet be the same loving mother if she aborted. How is that not forcing your daughter to comply with your wishes? You should be ashamed of yourself forced abortion is disgusting which in effect is what you would do to your daughter in your own words if she aborted then all is fine if she continued the pregnancy then she is out in the gutter homeless you disgust me as a human .

for the last time, I would not force my daughter to abort. Stop putting words in my mouth. I never said I would force my daughter to comply with my wishes, so please quit making things up and saying I would force an abortion on her. I would support her only if she chose abortion (or adoption). I never once said I would force anything on her. Read my posts for a change instead of reading a few choice words from each one.

Quote:

for what it's worth, some of the people in this forum who are opposing cambion's opinion may come across as a bit more credible if they could figure out how to use proper grammar and punctuation.

i understand that not everyone would agree with my opinion, but no one made anyone come and harass me for my differing views. It's sad to think some of the people on here are adults when they act so immature. And yes, it wouldn't kill them to hit the period key occasionally either. Thanks for not bleating at me that i'm evil as well.

Quote:

cambion has clearly stated she is anti child, not pro choice. If she had a daughter that got pregnant and cambion disapproved, once the daughter gives birth, cambion would no longer be responsible for either. Cambion is not required to raise a grandchild or support the child if she chooses not to. I hope (just like cambion) that she never has children. She is definately not pro choice and I don't believe she considers herself pro choice anyways.

i am pro-choice and/or supportive of abortion, and I do hate children. As much as I hate kids, that doesn't mean I want every conceived child to be aborted. I am merely in favor of the choice of abortion in the event of unwanted pregnancies rather than adoption or keeping the child. Nonetheless, thank you for not lowing at me that i'm evil for having a different opinion than the brain-dead idiots with the mentality of toddlers who seem to get off to harassing me.

sandyallen

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Posted: 05-30-06 20:23pm


We are all different and we do have a right to feel the way we do, I do not hate kids and I am not 100% for abortion but I am for a choice because I do not like to see abused and neglected, molested, etc baby's here that cannot be helped. Good night!

Meandering Away

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Posted: 05-31-06 03:28am

cambion wrote:

so liar you never called me and I quote :a baby humping fundie pro lifer: if you are going to lie at least check what you are lying about.I am english and to be called a baby humper is being called a peadophile, so yes you did call me a peadophile and you did imply it, unless you have a different definition, if that is the case then I will apologise, untill then though I will believe that you meant to call me a peadophile.I am amazed at how many so called pro choicers would not support their daughter if she kept the child but would if she aborted, that is not choice that is pro abortion.

Cambion

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Posted: 05-31-06 06:09am

Quote:

if you are familiar with any of my replies in the other topics here, you'd see that I throw the term "baby-humper" at most pro-lifers because we all know how much they looooove babies and do their best to ensure they all get born, even if it's into a crappy life, but I digress. It doesn't have a sexual connotation unless you're stupid and you understand it that way. So, I reiterate, I didn't call you a pedophile. It's sort of like the term "bible thumper" - same idea. And, for the record, to choose to abort is a choice, hence the term "pro-choice".

Meandering Away

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Posted: 05-31-06 10:10am

cambion wrote:

Quote:

so because you consistently call pro lifers peadophiles its ok, you are twisted and I now believe you intended to call me a peadophile.By the way you do not start a sentence with and, learn the english languge before pulling others on it.For the record having only one choice ie: abortion, is not pro choice but pro abortion.

Moo

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Posted: 05-31-06 10:15am

Quote:

for the record having only one choice ie: abortion, is not pro choice but pro abortion.

i don't believe that anyone (or rather, i'm sure there are a few but it's not the norm) who only believe in the choice to abort. Being pro-choice I believe that when a woman is pregnant she has three choices - abortion, continuing the pregnancy and parenting or continuing and having the child adopted. Whatever the choice it's the womans (and, ideally her partners) decision.

Meandering Away

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Posted: 05-31-06 10:17am

moo wrote:

Quote:

for the record having only one choice ie: abortion, is not pro choice but pro abortion.

read cambions reply she claims that just having abortion as a choice = pro choice.

Tylanas

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Posted: 05-31-06 10:26am

nightangel73 wrote:

eiri wrote:

so what do you mean eiri that because I am an adult what my parent say to me shall not be important?

of course not, their opinions and advice can be very important. But they can no longer make rules up and force you to follow them. And "no sex inside this house" (even though it's not even their house; theya re guests!!) is a rule.

Quote:

and no I wouldn't move with her so she can't have sex with the guy. It's useless because I have had plenty of sex in my house in spite my parents being there lol (i just wait til they are sleep :p).

so you "disrespect" your parent's commands? Do you see how hypocritical you are being? You attempted to use the "my parents forbid my husband/fiancee (whatever he is) from even sleeping in the same room as me because premarital sex is wrong" yet here you come out and reveal that even you, as uprightious as you are, go against your parent's direct commands and have sex. Guess what? I'd say "more power to ya!" except that you tried to use that line to show how "morally superior" you were and how much more respect you had for your parents. When in fact, you obviously don't. That is just underhanded.

Quote:

and I think premarital is wrong idea before the age of 25.

what magically happens at the gae of 25? Is thsi the age that you feel a man and woman are mature enough to have sex at? If so; then isn't it a developmental thing? I mean, obviously someone isn't instantly amature the moment they turn 25; and so also, fetuses and embryos go through a development. Before the age of 20 weeks in the womb, they are not developed enough to survive. Isn't this the same thing? Yes, it is.

Quote:

and I know how to control myself as I never had sex before I was 30 years old. I can give anyone classes on how to control yourself hun.

do you use birth control? Did you use birth control? Do you understand enough about it to actually trust it? I had sex when I was ready, and in love. I don't regret a second of it.

sandyallen

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Posted: 05-31-06 16:18pm


I could not even have sex in my parents house if I was married, even if at the age of 45y/o, waiting until they are asleep does not mean anything, they know, they can tell, they are not stupid. I agree with eiri nightangel, what is the difference between 23y/o to 25y/o, that does not make you mature, some mature younger and some older and some not at all and I will not even go to name calling because you, yourself knows what that sounds like.

nightangel73

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Posted: 05-31-06 20:21pm

eiri wrote:

yes they can make rules. They just use other ways to make you do things what they want. Like for example if I say my mom that i'm going to to drive alone to ny city. She won't forbid me but she will have like a heart attack if I do and you know I don't like to see my mom with that stress attack cause you have no idea how bad it is. But it's okay eiri.

eiri wrote:

my mom i'm sure she knows I have sex with my bf. I have told her many times before that i'm not going to wait til marriage at my age. She is not that cool with it but she doesn't strictly says me no like when I was younger. I have had very open discussions with her about the topic. She does not allow we sleep in the same bed when he stays over even thought it is my house and even tho she figures I have sex with the guy anyways. My parents are conservative. Probably my dad also figures I have sex with the guy too but sleeping with the guy in the same bed all nite and waking up in the bed together is making it look very obvious that we had sex. That would be disrepectful on my behalf. Again eiri I have discussed with my mother about the topic and I am not proud that I do what I do with my bf because I know that's not what my parents wanted and neither what I wanted but you know I had no idea when I was your age that I was going to be unmarried up to my 30's.

eiri wrote:

when you are past 25 you will understand why I have this personnal opinion. Around the age of 25 most women get mentally stabilized like they know who they are and what they want. Mind is more prepared for relationships because of so. Like my bf who married a 21 year old gal and divorced after 5 years. At that age she wasn't really clear what she wanted so five years later she realized she liked other type of man. But this is just a general statement so please not be offended. This is a personal conclusion I have from my own experience so you don't need to agree. I'm just sharing what I think.

eiri wrote:

do you use birth control? Did you use birth control? Do you understand enough about it to actually trust it? I had sex when I was ready, and in love. I don't regret a second of it.

now I do use birth control. Before I was 31 never. I always knew about birth control of course (i'm a biology graduate) but since they are not 100% fool proof I did not wanted to take chances. But I also admit you I really wasn't interested in having sex back then at your age. I am glad that you have no regretts eiri. I have no regretts of mine neither. I had sex when I felt ready as well.

Tylanas

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Posted: 05-31-06 22:09pm

nightangel73 wrote:

eiri wrote:

that's called a "guilt-trip", and it's just as bad as making a rule. Seriously, if they didn't raise you well enough to follow in their original example, then they have no one to blame for you driving alone on nyc at night than themselves. They're still trying to dictate what you do, and they have no right to do so, in any way shape or form!

Quote:

eiri wrote:

so how do you have sex with him if you don't sleep in the same bed? Do you sneak him into your room after mummy and daddy have gone to bed, like some rebellious teenager? Do you realise how ridiculous that is; to sneak around in your own house when you are doing nothing wrong????!?!?!?

Quote:

my parents are conservative.

that's nice; but you are your own person. Live your life, not theirs, and don't let them live yours.

Quote:

probably my dad also figures I have sex with the guy too but sleeping with the guy in the same bed all nite and waking up in the bed together is making it look very obvious that we had sex.

because of course it's impossible to sleep in the same bed with someone and not have sex.

Quote:

that would be disrepectful on my behalf. Again eiri I have discussed with my mother about the topic and I am not proud that I do what I do with my bf because I know that's not what my parents wanted and neither what I wanted but you know I had no idea when I was your age that I was going to be unmarried up to my 30's.

< span class="postbody">

uh, you should not feel guilty or bad for what you are doing! You are living a good life, you are a free, young woman!! Sex is okay!! It's not evil, you're not going to hell because you are having premarital sex, and your children are not going to be cursed because of it. Stop living in the bible. You are a modern american woman! You are woman, hear you roar! Come on! Don't feel guilty for listening to your body and being normal. That's right, normal.

As for the rest of your post, i'm all fine with that :) personal-opinion all you want. But please leave me the right to my body, as I would fight for you to have a right toyour own.

Cambion

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Posted: 05-31-06 23:20pm

Quote:

obviously you are far too stupid to understand any kind of logic beyond your own fool logic, so i'm not even going to bother trying to explain that I didn't call you or anyone else a pedophile. And by the way, you certainly can begin a sentence with "and" - it's just not something that is commonly seen. You tell me to learn proper english, yet you can't even be bothered to use proper grammar yourself - take your own advice, knuckle-head.

And for the love of all that's good, being able to choose abortion is the definition of pro-choice. Pro-abortion would be harassing every last pregnant woman to abort her child no matter what. I shudder to think you're an adult and possibly are raising children when you're so immature.

trina1

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Posted: 05-31-06 23:31pm

cambion wrote:

and for the love of all that's good, being able to choose abortion is the definition of pro-choice. Pro-abortion would be harassing every last pregnant woman to abort her child no matter what. I shudder to think you're an adult and possibly are raising children when you're so immature.

on this we agree.
Pro-abort= someone who believes abortion is the only answer all the time

pro-choicer= someone who believes that a woman should have the right to choose to carry her pregnancy to term or abort it at some point during the 9 months

anti-abort= someone who believes that abortion should be stopped at all costs, even by using illegal measures up to and in some cases including homicide. Of abortion drs, clinic workers, etc.

Pro-lifer= someone who believes human life begins at conception and strives to respect and protect all human life from conception until hopefully natural death (this includes abortion doctors and clinic workers, etc.)

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Posted: 05-31-06 23:51pm


I must say that I agree with your definitions.. I usually do not call someone who is against abortion "anti abortion" because I realize that many pro life people are reasonable, and many people who are against abortion 'at all costs' are not.

Moo

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Posted: 06-01-06 06:46am

Quote:

when you are past 25 you will understand why I have this personnal opinion. Around the age of 25 most women get mentally stabilized like they know who they are and what they want.

i'm 25 and i've had the same goals since I was 18, possibly younger. Yes I may have matured more since then but i'd say that happened around 20/21 not the age I am now. It's personal for everyone, whilst you may have felt you personally matured at 25 I personally matured/stabilized before that. Knowing what I wanted was alot of why I decided upon abortion. Since reaching 25 my opinion has not changed.

Trina, I agree with your definitions except for one thing. I'm pro-choice (as defined by yourself) but I also believe/am aware that human life begins at conception. Totally aware of what a z/e/f is, that it's human etc... But still believe in the right of the woman to choose

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Posted: 06-01-06 21:31pm

eiri wrote:

you are right they should not dictate what I do but eiri I don't have the heart to be rebellious with my parents. I don't want to make them suffer. The had enough pain with the death of my brother. My brother was like that rebellious (did what he wanted included drugs etc) and he found death on the way. Plus I don't want them mad at me cause you know i'm planning on having kids in the near future and you know I will need their help.

eiri wrote:

my bf and I were discussing about that since he sold his house and he is living with his grandparents now. He said we wont be able to have any sex in his grandparents house when I go stay over there since his grandparents won't allow we sleep in the same bed as we are not married. So I guess this rules goes in many homes in america. I agree with you it is ridiculous but it is not big deal to me. Anyways we are planning on getting married sometime around next year so I really don't care that I have to sneak around here or in his grandparents or in his parents house.

And btw no I don't sneak him around into my room, I just stay in his room (the guest room) until late night ;)

eiri wrote:

that's nice; but you are your own person. Live your life, not theirs, and don't let them live yours.

it is okay as I said it will end soon. I could kick my parents out of my townhouse. I have thought long about having a roomate vs my parents since I dislike to live alone. Both choices have advantages and disadvantages you see having a roomate (and I lived with many in my college years) have the disadvantage that first finding a good roomie is as hard as finding a good man. Then I don't know if whom I bring here is someone who will bring men around and takes away my privacy then I can't wear short pj's around the house and such. With having a roomate I also have to cook and clean. With my parents I have free cooking and cleaning services and I really like that. You know I come tired from work and real good food is right there on the table (and my mom is an excellent cook). It is nice :) I want to enjoy that until it last eiri. So if I have a roomate basically the only advantage I will have is more privacy. Well so I prefer the advantages I have with my parents.

eiri wrote:

uh, you should not feel guilty or bad for what you are doing! You are living a good life, you are a free, young woman!! Sex is okay!! It's not evil, you're not going to hell because you are having premarital sex, and your children are not going to be cursed because of it. Stop living in the bible. You are a modern american woman! You are woman, hear you roar! Come on! Don't feel guilty for listening to your body and being normal. That's right, normal.

heheeh it is okay I don't feel guilty about it. But I tell you it is not what I really wanted. I look forward getting married. :)