I met this guy and at first he seemed
clingy and then he started to become
distant. He told me that he was
bipolar..He told how he would understand
if it gets too much for me with his
illness. Oh he said we had a lot in
common... Now he has become distant,
won't return my phone calls or emails.. I
was concerned hoping that everything was
ok with him.. I saw him at the gym and
asked why he did not return my phone
calls... First he said that he had
problems with his brother., then he stated
that we had no chemistry. He did a 360
degree turn. Finally three times of
asking him ... About the chemistry ,he
admitted that he was not ready for a
relationship because his head was not
right.. I responded that I was not ready
for a relationship either. I am really
concerned for him although I don't think
he realizes it... Should I continue to be
his friend or just leave him alone? I do
not know alot about bipolar..But I see the
agitation within him when he asked a
question what's wrong.
|
MysticalStar
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Aug 2005 Posts: 24
Posted: 05-26-06 20:45pm
I can totally relate with him. I am 31
yrs. Old and have been bipolar since I
was a small child. It is incredibly hard
for me to maintain any kind of
relationship. I always warn potential
friends or boyfriends of my condition so
they can decide whether they can or are
willing to handle it or not. I'm am on my
second marriage (my first marriage lasted
1 year) and my husband is incredibly
understanding and tolerant. It is very
hard for me because sometimes I just want
to be left alone. I cannot keep friends
due to this problem. I will initially be
very clingy and hang out with my friends
everyday but then I get tired of it and
want to be left alone. I won't return
phone calls because I get so withdrawn I
just don't want to talk to anyone. Many
times I will never contact them again. I
get really tired of trying to explain
myself and make excuses for myself. So if
you really want to be with him then just
give him his needed space. Tell him to
get in touch with you when he is ready for
some companionship. It really sucks being
bipolar. Some days I love and appreciate
my husband very much and other days I
can't stand him and want him to just leave
me the hell alone. But when I am in those
horrible moods I just have to realize that
my mood will change eventually and to not
do anything rash like file for divorce.
Right now i'm pregnant so i'm not on any
meds but normally I take three different
medications. Unfortunately even when i'm
medicated I still have mood swings but I
am much better than without anything at
all. If he is not already taking meds
then it would be very beneficial for him
to do so. There really is no easy
solution but I hope I helped a little
anyway.
|
deez318
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 4 Location: baltimore
Posted: 05-27-06 00:59am
Thank you mystical star...You have given
me more insight as to what is going on
with him and how to deal with this myself
|
sweetpattync27
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 May 2006 Posts: 1 Location: Tarboro, Nc
Re: Bipolar Relationship Posted: 05-28-06 20:56pm
I think you should stick by your friend..
A true friend is always there for
him......
|
onemoreday12
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 May 2006 Posts: 3
... Posted: 06-02-06 22:17pm
How would you go about sticking by a
friend who really wants nothing to do with
you anymore?
I mean it makes sense to always be there
for someone, but its hard to even know
when its right to talk to them or try to
make conversation, because you typically
get blocked out for just trying to have
conversation?
That does suck pretty bad knowing that
someone could bascially have amazing
feelings for you, and then just shut you
out as though you were not even there to
begin with, and when you try to be a good
friend its nothing to them.
Always being there for them when they need
it is the type of person I am, but dealing
with the ups and downs is a hard thing to
handle.. It makes you feel their pain and
wish you could help out, but you know you
really cant.. Its sad stuff.
Grr
|
deez318
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 4 Location: baltimore
Thanks Guys For Your Response.. Posted: 06-04-06 22:37pm
He may be bipolar but it seems he is
playing the field. Now he seems to have
found a new interest at the gym today.
Almost as though I didn't exist. Just
last week and even today he was watching
me work out. Last week he came over and
talked to me for a little. I am a good
person and a good friend but I think I am
going to keep my distance from him. It
seems he has made his decision. He maybe
bipolar and I don't know it the illness
exaggerates his actions but it seems he
doesn't even want to be friends. His
actions seem to be just like someone who
does not have a mental illness but is
trying to be a giggalo.
|
onemoreday12
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 May 2006 Posts: 3
In Reply Posted: 06-06-06 10:57am
Haha I know what you mean. I learned that
people with this dissorder tend to have a
hard time staying in a relationship with
just one person.
I guess I finally came to the conclusion
that wether you are bipolar or not there
is such a thing as self control. Like a
person who is addicted to smoking, they
would have to work super hard to get
themselves clean of cigs, but it wont
happen unless if they have self control.
Bipolar dissorder is a dissorder of the
brain.. I guess your mind slows down when
you are in dipression and what not, so yes
that would be very difficult to over
come.. But if therapy and or meds help to
reduce it, then I think self control would
be the highest form of taking care of most
any problem anyone has.. They have to
come to terms with the fact that they have
this dissorder and will go through mood
changes, and feel that they would rather
be with 2 or 10 people instead of one..
But, just like with anyone else.. The
world is full of temptations.. And we all
need self control to maintane our cool.
I think everything in life is a mind set.
If your mind is set that everyone hates
you, then in your world they most certinly
do.. But, in reality know one has a
reason to hate you.
If you are set on pushing through the day
and saying something nice to everyone you
see.. Or ust smiling at everyone even if
you totally dont want to and have a hatred
for them in your heart.. You sure as hell
can smile at people and make them think
you care.. Its self control.. Bipolar or
not you are human.. Therefore you are
able to control yourself a little better
than you thought..
Dont let this man lean on his illness as a
crutch if he knows he has it and hes not
taking care of it.
I guess.. If he knows he has it, and he
knows that he could hurt you in the
process.. Then he probably wouldnt really
care without the dissorder.. Because with
or without the dissorder if a guy likes a
girl enough he will persue her no matter
the odds... Its what guys do.. Its in
their nature.. Its only natural for a guy
to risk the odds and go for the girl in
which he cares deeply for.
Ok thats all I have to say
|
deez318
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 May 2006 Posts: 4 Location: baltimore
My Reply to Onemoreday12 Posted: 06-06-06 22:46pm
Thank you... I couldn't have said it any
better. I was telling my girlfriend
about this and she stated that she guess
he has an excuse because he is bipolar.
I said there is no excuse. I do not know
what it is like to be bipolar but I feel
the same way. If you know you have an
illness that may make you do certain
things like be with several people and you
know this has caused problems in the pass
then you as the individual must take some
responsibility for your actions. I
remember he kept saying thru no fault of
his own that he is a certain way because
of the bipolar... I think that you must
be responsible and say ok may be I may
need therapy to help me control my actions
and not let the illness control me. He
takes med.. I don't remember which
medication but I do not think it is
helping and he does not go to therapy
which would help. One day he seems to be
depressed more than up beat. If you ask
him what's wrong he will just say he is
tired but I canc see the depression in his
face. Sometimes I think I make him
uncomfortable because if I come into an
area where he is in the gym .. Sometime
he leaves quickly. Like the other
night.
When I saw him , I spoke to him and kept
going. He seemed very warm that night.
I don't think I even smiled at him I just
spoke and asked how was he and kept going.
Maybe the way I responded made him feel
uncomfortable but oh well!!! I know you
can't help a person unless they are
willing to help himself. But I will not
let him use his illness as a crutch. I
know what it like to be depressed as I use
to be when I was younger when I had
problems with bulima. I finally overcame
that which I know I can't compare it to a
bipolar illness but an eating disorder is
a mental illness to an extent.. I could
have blamed everyone that picked on me as
a child because I was overweight for me
falling into an eating disorder but I did
not and took control over it. He
doesn't call me or write to me anymore and
if I did not see him at the gym .. I
would never see him again. .. As that
seems to be a very common trait with
bipolar people.
People with bipolar disorder wants someone
that is strong and can handle their ups
and downs but then they seem to push those
very people that would stay by them
away.. I guess I will never understand
that thinking because I do not have the
illness myself.
Deez318 said...
People with bipolar disorder wants someone
that is strong and can handle their ups
and downs but then they seem to push those
very people that would stay by them away..
I guess I will never understand that
thinking because I do not have the illness
myself.
This is exactly how I feel my gf of over a
year just pushed me away and broke things
off because she didnt feel in love all the
sudden. I was willing to be there through
the ups and downs and through it all. Now
she only wants to be best friends and I
dont want to loose her but its hard when
im still in love with her. This break up
came out of no where in a week. We were
talking about our wedding the week
before...Then boom!
To her it makes sense in her head to end
it and not even try another solution. But
to me it doesnt we were suppose to be in
it to the end..Through the good and bad
times....In sickness and in health but she
just up and ended it when it didnt feel
right to her anymore. She says that this
was not a bipolar decision. But when you
say you love someone and you want to marry
them you dont just break it off for no
reason and not even try to mend it. Then
to want me to be her best friends and
never ever leave her. She says she will
never loose me but I just lost the love of
my life.
I think it might be a bipolar thing but I
dont have any proof. She told me early on
that bipolar would just keep hurting me
when we had a similar situation but we
didnt break up. She says this time isnt
not bipolar. She cant understand why she
doesnt feel any thing anymore she says its
not me. She was happy with me and has
nothing bad to say about the relationship.
So why did it just abrubptly end? I am
so lost and confused. What do I do? Hold
my feelings in for her. Shut them off?
Will this last? Will she feel she loves
me again next month? I am trying to be
there as a friend and let her know I am
never going to leave. But its really hard
to stay and be friends when your heart is
broken so badly and your still in love.
Alwayzluvinu32. Your post was
heartbreaking. I was in your exact
situation. I was engaged to someone that
was bipolar. When I get depressed about
the relationship, I come here to read.
This is the best thread I have read yet
because the person above that does have
bipolar explained exactly how it feels,
because she used the same words my
fiancée used. My ex won’t even talk
to me at all. Shut me out completely. I
have hundreds of e-mails where he is so in
love with me, then they turn dark and ugly
and now he claims I ruined his life and
his career is falling apart because of me.
It’s true they want a strong person to
be able to handle them, but then turn on
them and say horrible things to push them
away. His parents are the only two
people he has in his life and they refuse
to accept his illness, so every time he
breaks it off with a woman, they condone
his behavior and think it’s because of
the woman and not their son. It’s very
sad. He has now dated over 300 women.
I was willing to stick through everything
with him. The good and the bad. I still
love him after all this time. It’s
been 17 months since we broke up. Every
time we got into a fight, even while we
were engaged he hopped back on dating web
sites and would post his profile and talk
to strange women. I couldn’t take it
anymore. I threatened to leave many
times, hoping the situation would change.
Finally I told him it was over and he
came home and kicked me and my daughter on
the streets right then and there, without
even a goodbye to my daughter. I have
tried everything I could think of to
forget about him. I am even in a new
healthy relationship, with a wonderful man
who treats me well, but every day like
clock work I find I spend at least half
the day thinking about my ex and his
illness. I wouldn’t wish this illness
on my worse enemy and reading here is the
only thing that makes me realize it
wasn’t me, and that he will continue on
like this and cycle through more women.
|
love1005
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2007 Posts: 2
Bipolar Relationships Posted: 10-07-07 15:50pm
I am currently in a relationship with a
great guy, he has bipolar. He told me
after a month in to our relationship. The
first 4 moths was like heaven he told me
everyday how much he loved me. I have
never been so happy. But thats when things
changed he started acting different and i
was convinced that he was cheating on me.
We are still together and im moving up to
the city he is in and things have been
really hard to handle. The shutting out
and the distance. I love him so much and
would stand by him no matter what but just
the other day he was so gone in his head i
couldnt even speak with him. He said I am
depressed and unhappy. Then he called a
few hours later and said he was sorry and
was just having a hard time with himself.
He said he would call me back its been 2
days. I did a lot of research and know he
needs his space but it so hard to watch
someone you love be in so much pain!! Any
advice??
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
I am currently in a
relationship with a great guy, he has
bipolar. He told me after a month in to
our relationship. The first 4 moths was
like heaven he told me everyday how much
he loved me. I have never been so happy.
But thats when things changed he started
acting different and i was convinced that
he was cheating on me. We are still
together and im moving up to the city he
is in and things have been really hard to
handle. The shutting out and the distance.
I love him so much and would stand by him
no matter what but just the other day he
was so gone in his head i couldnt even
speak with him. He said I am depressed and
unhappy. Then he called a few hours later
and said he was sorry and was just having
a hard time with himself. He said he would
call me back its been 2 days. I did a lot
of research and know he needs his space
but it so hard to watch someone you love
be in so much pain!! Any
advice??
the truth is
it might never work
its hard to deal with things like that and
it may only get worse for you
|
BALER
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Oct 2007 Posts: 2
Bipolar? Posted: 10-09-07 01:22am
TRY TUNGUSKA BLAST.A FRIEND OF MINE HAS
MOOD SWINGS.SHE HAD SUICIDAL
THOUGHTS BEFORE,SHE CONSULTED A
PSYCHIATRIST,AND PRESCRIBED ZOLOFT
AN ANTIDEPRESSANT.SHE FEELS WEIRD WITH
IT.SHE WAS SO GROUCHY!COULD
NOT KEEP FRIENDS.SO I GAVE HER A SAMPLE OF
TUNGUSKA JUICE THAT I USE FOR RELIEVING
STRESS,BOOSTING STAMINA,INDUCED SLEEP,FOR
BRAIN CLARITY,JUMPSTART A SLUGGISH
METABOLISM ETC.SHE IS NOW ON HER SECOND
MONTH,TAKING 1 0Z DAILY EVERY
MORNING.THERE IS A GREAT CHANGE IN HER
MOOD AND DISPOSITION.
|
Ashley_92
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2008 Posts: 1
Hi Posted: 01-09-08 20:14pm
okay i know what your talking about =] im
15 && im Bipolar i have been in a
realtion ship for about 2 years and its
the hardest thing i'll ever do.....I have
so many mood swings and i feal like im
hurting him....Things have changed threw
time......its Very hard to keep a
Relationship when your Bipolar...You dont
Trust as much as you could you feal like
the person your with wants to be with
someone else....and you feal like you have
to be Clingy to them...but then maybe
after a while you will feal unhappy and
you decide to let them go.....i am still
in my relationship but we fight alot
because im so irratable......to be honest
being with someone with Bipolar takes alot
of work and maybe he was just looking out
for you.....be his friend..dont leave him
or act like your mad at him...with my b/f
sometimes i cant even stand for him to
touch me...or talk to me which dosnet meen
i dont love him it just meens that its
something i couldnt help...if you were not
In love with him..think of it as a good
thing that the pressures not going to get
put on you...because i know how hard it
is..and what im making my b/f is put up
with and im thankfull that he loves me
enough to do so....
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3966 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 129
Thanked:12
Posted: 01-09-08 22:01pm
Welcome to the forum, Ashley. It must be
super hard when you're fifteen especially!
