Help Me Plz...

Okay look, hang in there miki. You're only 17! You've got your whole life ahead of you. Trust me, suicide is the last thing you want to do.

Don't let depression win this battle. Suicide is a loss to you. I don't want to say this, but there's always a gap between intention and action.
Just please, don't do it!

Email me if you need someone to talk to, anytime..
Septem ber65@gmail.Com

Your only 17 and u dont deserve this. I understand completely what your going through. I am 17 also and ive been depressed for the last 5 years. I havent gotten the nerve to cut-cut myself but I have hurt myself and I punch holes in walls. Its going to be ok. If u ever what to talk. Ika_2010@ yahoo.Com <<< email me whenever u want. Or aim.

Hi miki I have never been a cutter but have battled depression and am having some success in a cbt program I am in now. I feel for you and hope you can find the help you need. Just know things can get better if you get help.

Hey, I too have been depressed since a very young age... I am suicidal a lot despite the wellbutrin xl (300mg) & effexor sr (37.5mg) that they have me on...

I have tried to kill myself 7 times...Well, 5 times that I did it intentionally & twice that I think I did it on "accident" but not really...

I'll be totally honest...This doing it blows...

And right now it seems like things will only continue to get worse but in an hour I will have focused on some shiny piece of caca that will keep my mind occupied until the urge to cut/burn and kill myself passes yet again...

I have many ways of hurting myself too... I burn myself with a cigg when things finally reach the breaking point but the med's have been keeping that under control a lot better now... I scratch at myself and pick at my skin when I am both aware of it and when I look down and find that my hand is covered in blood. I must have, literally, about 100 little, itty-bitty, wounds on my body right now...

I know it is hard to stop the thoughts... It is the hardest thing in the world!

But you need to figure out what it is you need to do to stop the cycle before it really gets rolling!

If it is not that bad of a night then I can usually just say "no! Stop it! That never happened!!!!!!!!!!!" and if I say it enough I might even fight off a flashback! But in the really bad times I need to do something hard core like come here and read other people's stories, or go to the http://www.Allaboutcounseling .Com/ board and talk to people there... They have talked me down, literally, like 3 times! There are always people on to talk to!

Or I grab a book...Something like anne rice when I need the vampire fantasy, or anne mccaffrey when I need something fun, or just some hard core erotica when I need a good shock to my system to make the bad thoughts go away!

I have even been known to go to ebay and bid on some stupid pokemon card I don't have...

(btw, i'm 25/f/b/chicago)

or pet my kitten or call a friend that is just as mentally messed as I am, or watch some anime/hentai or a movie with subtitles so I need to really pay attention....

Anything that takes your mind and puts it somewhere else.

I even just lay back on my bed, close my eyes, and say, "if I could do anything what would it be?" or "if I won 100 million dollars what would I do?" and zone out to the most absurd fantasies that I can come up with!

It all sounds so retarded, I know, but it is the best that you can do when you are in such a bad situation!!

Well, I need to make up all the sleep I lost last night because of panic attacks...

I hope some of this helps put things in perspective or gives you an idea!

You are 17 and you are not alone! People .Love you and you do not want to hurt them! People can help you! Talk to your parents, an .Aunt, .Uncle, doctor, I am practically in a wheelchair and I have to accept it. Their are people out there that have it a lot worse off then we do! There are .Counselors that are out there that are very understanding. Get some help and remember, we are here for you and so is a lot of other people and I get depressed to but it is not my time and it is not your time either! So please get some help , even if you feel you cannot talk to your parents, pick up the phone and call 9-1-1 if you have to. Their are even medsto help us along the way and if you have been hurt along the way, you can talk to us.
Please let us know how you are doing!
My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Miki728, your life is still full and you can fight the sadness and hurt. I have been living with depression for several years and just finally got back on medication to correct my problems. Although its noway to live, its something to start you on the path to recovery. Suicide is forever, surely someone in this big ol world would miss you if you went.

Hang in there... Good times are coming, you just wait and see.

*hugs*

pl

:d

Hello friend....A word of encouragement.......There is hope for you and others that are in such anguish of spirit that they think of harming themselves. I have dealt alot with this issue. My mother has manic-depressive disorder and my brother is schzophrenic. One of my children, in response to extreme pressures at home ( abusive father) went through a time when he was cutting himself . My daughter is 22 and last year tried to commit suicide, in response to a situation in which she saw no way out( an abusive husband). What I am trying to get at is that people do what you do in response to extreme pressure of some sort. I don't pretend to be an expert but after dealing with this for so long and also struggling with depression and anxiety myself, I have learned a few things that I think might help you. I went to my pastor during a very difficult time in my life and he gave me a book called " self talk" and it was tremendous help. Basically it taught that some people, with certain types of personalities tend to fall into a pattern of self degradation. You know " you can't do anything right" type of thoughts. What we tell ourselves is very powerful. I am not talking about mind over matter type junk...Problems are real but there are those of us who seem to have a tougher time dealing with everyday life. Even in extreme situations I have had to tell myself..." okay..This is not the end of the world. Things will get better." I have had to train myself to not think that everything is the end of the world. I am not trying to minimize in any way what you may be going through. This is just a small part of what the book taught. I hope you can find it and read it. Also a book called " why you do what you do' is a great book to help you understand your personality and how to better cope with life. Both books can probably be found in a christian book store. I would also hope that you would seek professional help if you haven't already. I also want to tell you that the son I mentioned earlier is doing well now and it is in part because he learned to understand that life is full of ups and downs and sometimes tragedy, but that he can make through it all. Feeling sad about sad things is normal. Being angry about unfair things is normal. We are not always going to feel good. Somedays are good and some are bad, but we have to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He also learned the " triggers ' to self-destructive behaviors. I hope this helps some. Good luck and hang in there. Things can be better for you............Renedan