I'd like to know how you decided on what
you chose to do after you found out you
were preg.And when did you decide on what
you did.....I mean between parenting and
adoption....Not abortion as this isn't
that forum. Did you ever consider
anything other than what you are doing
now? I'm curious about why you chose what
you have.
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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005 Posts: 53 Location: dundalk
Posted: 05-31-06 14:42pm
I honestly did not want children, my
pregnancy was an axcident. I was 16 when
I met this guy in the air force who seemed
like the nicest guy in the world and he
claimed he could not have kids and
stupidly I beleived him and three months
later I was pregnant and he wa sin
military prison.
I was so upset because here I was pregnant
when I never even wanted children and then
here the dad was now in jail and denying
my son. The air force told me he was
perfectly able to have kids but he still
denied he could so I was going to be a
single mom to a kid I did not really
want.
I thought very deep about adoption but my
family made me feel horrible about it,
especially my mom, she broke into tears
when I mentioned it. I started
researching adoption and found that many
kids are killed each year by thier
adoptive parents which is what made me
decide to keep him. I was to afraid he
would go to the wrong people and would get
hurt.
My pregnancy was an accident, after the
contraception we used didn't work... My
boyfriend of 4 years wanted me to get an
abortion and I refused, so he left me. I
considered adoption very seriously, I
didn't want my child to have a miserable
life, and if I couldn't provide for it
then I wanted to give someone else the
chance to have a child, and give it the
life I couldn't.
But then I went for my scan and I realised
it would be too hard for me to give up
that little baba growing inside me.. And
the father recently came round to the idea
of being a daddy... So now i'm excited
about the birth and I think we can really
make it work, and raise this baby in a
stable environment.
X x x x
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MamiClaudia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 May 2006 Posts: 319 Location: Gastonia, NC.
Posted: 05-31-06 17:34pm
I think its really fuc*ed up how I will
open up the classifieds in the newspaper
and under help wanted they have looking
for foster parents will pay $$$. What
kind of people do they think those adds
appeal to? And having been in group homes
in my life and meeting children that were
tossed around from one abbusive foster
family to the next really worries me. I
have heard good stories about certain
kinds of adoption, where you can still be
involved in the babies life. You get to
pick the family that adopts the baby and
meet them and they pay for the birth and
when the baby is born you still get to
spend time with your child.
I knew I wanted the baby right away, I
could never give it up and im not in a
position where it is impossible for me to
take care of the baby.
Chrissy- why was he in jail? You should
do a paternity test just so that problem
can be reasured in the future the next
time he trys to pull that that he can make
babies!
My mom admited to me I was made the same
way.. My dad told her he couldnt have
kids and within 5 months I was in her
belly!
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AlliE_18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005 Posts: 2129 Location: uk
Posted: 06-01-06 15:42pm
I think open adoption is a good idea if
you feel you cant support your baby or
cope etc, but you still want to be in
his/her life, see them from time to time
and make sure they are ok. That way you
can make sure they're happy and safe etc
with the adoptive parents. And the baby
grows up knowing you're his birth mother,
its not a big mystery or secret.
My ex boyfriend left me because he didnt
want to be a dad yet (even tho he was in
his 20s not a teen). Tried to force me to
get an abortion, but I dont agree with
those. I kept my son, im raising him
without his fathers support, its hard
work, some days tougher than others, but I
love him to bits and hes changing me in so
many ways. Hes my angel =) im glad I kept
him. Its best to try at least, because it
might not be as bad as you thought.
I don't get how anyone can not want to be
part of their child's life. Like don't
you just think he must lay awake at night
wondering about his little boy? I could
never imagine doing that, even if I placed
a child up for adoption, i'ld be
constantly thinking and the baby and
worrying about if it was the right choice.
Some guys geez.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8783 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
Posted: 06-01-06 16:15pm
That is what birth mothers do. They stay
up all night and worry if the decision
they made was the right one. But I can
tell you this, my husband is adopted and
he doesn't regret one single solitary day
of it. In fact, if he were to ever meet
his birth mom (she was 16 when she
selflessly gave him away, by the way!), he
would tell her she made the best decision
for his life she could have ever made!
My mother also gave a child up for
adoption. So i've seen this from both
ends of the spectrum. And, as an adult,
my sister came and found us. She is also
happy she was adopted and thanked my mom
numerous times for giving her the family
she has.
