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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 53
Location: dundalk
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a Little Help Here, He Is Driving Me Crazy
Posted: 06-03-06 18:31pm
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My parents had the fool idea to start
giving my son soda here and thier then
they started letting him drink out of
little soda bottles and now all he ever
wants is soda and he always wants to drink
it out of the soda bottle instead of his
cup.
I can not keep giving him soda because he
is 23 months old and a child that young
should not really even have soda but now
thanks to my freaking parents he
constantly wants it and if I do not give
it to him he throws a fit by throwing
himself on the ground and banging his head
on the floor and banging his feet on the
walls or doors.
:cry: what do I do about this? He is
driving me crazy with the tantrums and he
is not like most kids who throw a tantrum
for like 5 or 10 minutes then give up, he
can go like forver thorwing a tantrum and
not get wore out. He is throwing a
tantrum right now because he wants soda
and he is going on 15 minutes.
He is driving me crazy! :evil:
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yellow ribbon
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL
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Posted: 06-03-06 19:26pm
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I say fill a soda bottle with water or
juice and give it to him and insist that
its soda then maybe hell get over it if
not your the mom and u need to lay down
the law if hes thirsty hell take what u
give him
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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 53
Location: dundalk
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Posted: 06-03-06 19:33pm
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I have tried filling a soda bottle with
something else and he knows the diffrence
and throws it down and I have also tried
giving him something else to drink in one
of his cups and he throws it down,
sometimes he will even take the lids off
and throw the drink all over the place.
I put my foot down and tell him no your
not getting soda because it is bad for you
and he just gets more angry
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 3159
Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 71
Thanked:98
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Posted: 06-03-06 19:33pm
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Honestly you have to show ur kids whos
boss and discpline him, even if he cries
let him, I apply a three time rule and
then give my daughter a time out, I hold
her down or I put her in her room and let
her cry it out. You need to understand
that a kid will cry itself into
exhaustion. I know its trying im taking
care of two kids on my own these weekend
cause my hubby is gone for the weekend and
elisa (23 months) is pushing me to my
limits. If you cant deal with the crying
put him in his crib and go outside for 10
mins check up on him and go back outside
thats the best way, once he goes to bed
relaz talk to friends or have a good
beer.
I will never give pop to my kids, my hubby
has but my daughter rarely gets it, I have
been making smoothies for my daughter and
she loves it try that. Like macymama
said change it too juice half water half
juice if he doesnt take well to bad for
him he shouldnt be having pop so stick to
ur guns hun.
Parenting has never been easy but we
actually have till a certain age to make
them understand, my daughter had 8
tantrums today im almost at wits end so I
understand but you just manage
good luck
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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 53
Location: dundalk
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Posted: 06-03-06 19:38pm
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I can not put him in his room because he
does not have one, my parents are in the
process of building it and he has a thomas
the tank bed which he can climb in and out
of.
Even if he had his own room and I locked
him in it my parents would go off on me,
they just went off on me for me letting
him throw a tantrum. They think it was
wrong of me and they think I should just
give in everytime he wants something.
My parents are turning him nto a spoiled
brat. They give him everything and they
are the ones who started this whole soda
thing.
You should see our house it is more like a
daycare because my om is always buying my
son more and more toys and he does not
even play with really any of them he just
throws them around and who gets stuick
cleaning up all these toys,,me and if I do
not my mom throws a fit over it.
I told my mom once that if she wants to
buy him all these toys then she should
clean them up not me and she said the hell
I will he is your son and your
responsibility.
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 3159
Location: , Candyland-Canada
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Posted: 06-03-06 19:47pm
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Okay sorry if I seem abit harsh here
hes ur son if ur responsible for him so
put ur parents in there spot, you need to
understand that he will run to ur parents
if they keep on acting like that a kid
should have a tantrum and should
understand what they are doing wrong but
in this case your parents as well as
yourself are to blame.
Im not perfect I make mistakes too im
trying to gte my daughter out of that
spoiled behaviour and its finally starting
to work but it takes patience and alot of
discipline from you tough love. My
husbands family kept interfering and I
told them to back off because elisa and
cam are my children I have nothing wrong
with them spoiling my daughter but I
requested that they ask my permission
first.
Honestly buy the book what to expect the
toddler years its a great book, put your
mommy shoes on and start doing what needs
to be done honestly if I hadnt intervened
with my husband my daughter may have been
in ur sons position right now but I dealt
with because that is my responsibility.
Im really not trying to be mean im trying
to help but you need to understand that u
are the parent and you are the person who
has power over your son not the
grandparents. How old are you? Im 22 I
got pregnant in my teens as well but even
then I will never let ppl walk all over me
anymore im just sick of it be strong.
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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 53
Location: dundalk
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Posted: 06-03-06 19:55pm
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I am 19.
I have tried sitting down with both of my
parents numerous times and talking to them
about letting me deal with him and to not
spoil him and it just goes in one ear and
out the other. They do not give a damn
what I think.
My mom has now got him into going outside
all the time since it is now warm out and
yes a child should be out a couple hours a
day but she has him to where he wants to
go out all day long and he can not do that
because I have things to do around the
house and when it is really hot out like
say 90 degrees he should not be out long
because it is not good for him.
I told her a few weeks ago I am taking him
off bottles and I put them away and I go
away for a weekend and come back and here
the bottles are out again and my son is
dribking one of them. I got angry and
asked what the deal was and she said he
needs bottles and I told her his teeth
were going to end up getting ruined and
she said no they were not and I was an
fool and she had 3 kids and new what she
was talking about.
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 3159
Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 71
Thanked:98
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Posted: 06-03-06 20:17pm
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Then be more intense all im trying to say
is that if something happened to u kid you
are to blame even if your parents do it,
honestly sit them down and tell them that
if they dont listen to you they cant see
him and you will find care for him
somewhere else. I know what ur going
throgh you want an answer but at the same
time you need to stop making excuses if
you have to get family counseling like I
said parenting isnt easu but if you have
for your sons sake move sometimes the
answers are right there. None of us have
the same parenting views but what I
understand is your parents arent
respecting your will do you know how much
trouble that will cause my grandparents
did it with me I use to run away and live
with them. My grandparents let me smoke
when I wish they would have said no f*ck
they bought me smokes at 13 and let me
drink I probally would not have had such a
troubled youth if they had been a bit
stricter. My mother respect my wishes
but I told her if she did something really
bad she would not see her
grandchildren!!!
I used to steal money off them 100$ at a
time I was drugs at 11 sad eh and they
never said boo even if I told them I did
it as to my parents the pressed charges
against me and I went to jail. You need
to put ur foot down now im only writing
this cause if my parent never intervend I
may not have been able to say I succeeded
instead I would have been living on the
streets still. I know this is alot to
take in but I think their is a bigger
issue that going on!!
Honestly add me to msn messenger je
ssica_lyne2@hotmail.Com btw my names
jess
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Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006
Posts: 6217
Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
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Posted: 06-04-06 03:26am
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Please persuvire (sp?) and ban soda. My
mother gives me lil 5 year old sis coca
cola all the time and it sends her hyper
and I swear her teeth are gonna be rotten
soon.
She even makes up still at night for coca
cola - and she's 5! She's addicted to it
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005
Posts: 5261
Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
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Posted: 06-04-06 08:05am
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If things are that bad then honey maybe
you need to move. They (your parents)
should respect the fact that you are the
mother in this situation. I would pull
the same stuff you said your mom pulls on
you about picking up his toys. She told
you that he's your son and you need to
pick up his toys so next time she said
something I would tell her, "he's my son,
remember?".
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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 53
Location: dundalk
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Posted: 06-04-06 10:27am
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I am going to work on not giving him soda
anymore and hopefully my parents will not
either. I know his teeth are going to
get ruined if he keeps doing it which is
why I really want to stop it along with
how hyper he gets.
It seems like since starting to drink soda
he never takes a nap anymore. He use to
nap from about 12-2 and now since drinking
soda he does not get tired at all so he is
awake from 10:30 in the morning to about
10:30 at night and sometimes later, to me
that is just to many hours for him.
Other people I know with children my sons
age all take naps.
I may end up moving out in the fall with
my best friend. I am working on getting
another job now, I just put in an app at
walmart so I am keeping my fingers
crossed.
I just can not do this anymore. Me and
my parents and even my sisters are
constantly arguing how I take care of him
and every little thing that happens my
little sisters run and tell our parents
like their little five year olds and then
my parents get all pissed at me.
For example my son was playing out on the
back porch last weekend and he tripped and
blood started coming out of his nose but
he was fine, not screaming or anything and
it only bled for a bit but of course my
tattle tail sisters ran down and got my
mom and then my mom says that I am not
going to be happy till something very bad
happens to him, every time something
happens that is her comment. When she
said that comment when he busted his nose
open I ran to my room in tears and I just
wanted to bad to just slap my mother
across her damn face for saying it.
Another example is not to long after I
created this topic my older sister came
out and grabbed my son and went down to my
parents complaining.
It is like sometimes my parents have
multiple personalities like when my son is
with them and he falls and hits his head
or hurts himself my dad is like kids fall
it is no big deal you guys fell all the
time when you were kids but yet when he
falls or gets hurt with me my dad says it
is ridiculous and me and my sisters never
got hurt when we were little. I know we
got hurt when we were little because I was
constantly busting my head open as a kid.
Also they can be the nicest people in the
world one minute and the next be complete
terror
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DylanJacob
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2006
Posts: 559
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Posted: 06-04-06 12:06pm
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I would just tell them that you are
thankful for their help but that you are
his mommy and you will lay diwn the rules.
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diamondsz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 3159
Location: , Candyland-Canada
Thanks: 71
Thanked:98
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Posted: 06-04-06 12:59pm
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Hey chrissy I think thats the best thing
you can do for your son, my daughter
sleeps at least 12 hrs a day including
naps and I think without that me time I
would go nuts too. Your parents are
hypocrits sorry if I seem abit harsh but
they should know better, all I can say is
all the more power to you for doing
something about it even though its not now
start making changes.
Honestly if my parents ever did what urs
are doing they would never hear the end of
it and my child wouldnt be able to go
their house unsupervised. Hope u get that
job kudos!!
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ThriftyGal
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2006
Posts: 2982
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: 06-04-06 14:27pm
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I didn't read all the replies because i'm
lazy, so this might have already been delt
with. But I wanted to say what I would
do if I was dealing with that. I would
let him cry it out without me caving, and
by that he'ld see that crying isn't going
to get him what he wants. If you cave
when he throws a tanrum it'll teach him
that it works for him, and won't have any
reason to stop throwing them. If he
doesn't have a bedroom why not put him in
the bathroom for a time out when he's
throwing a tantrum?
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Chrissy87
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 53
Location: dundalk
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Posted: 06-04-06 14:47pm
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Diamondsz if I did not live with my
parents I probably would not allow them to
see him till they shaped up and got it
threw thier heads that he is my child and
what I say goes.
Tanya when kids throw a tantrum it is so
hard to not give in and the first couple
times I was weak and gave in but now when
he is throwing a tantrum I am putting on
my headset so I can not hear him.
I agree if you give into kids even just
once they will think that you will give
into everything everytime they throw a
tantrum.
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Ingi
Moderator
Joined: 09 Mar 2006
Posts: 8358
Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 107
Thanked:139
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Posted: 06-04-06 16:28pm
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Chrissy, you need to move. If only for
your own piece of mind and to establish
your own parenting skills.
You live with your parents, you are their
child. Your child is their grandchild.
Obviously ;) but they feel like it is all
their responsibility. Your development
and, ultimately, your son's development.
Even though you are his mother, your
parents are in the mix too. Feeling just
as responsible as grandparents as they do
being your parent. (i'm not saying what
they are doing is right, i'm merely giving
ideas as to why they are doing what they
do.)
if you go away for the weekend and leave
your son with them, what do you expect? I
had loads of fun at my grandma's house.
She let me have as much ice cream as I
wanted and I got to stay up and get my way
every time! But I didn't live with them.
That was only a treat or a special
occassion kind of thing. Not an every day
all day occurance.
If you don't want your son to have pop,
then say no. Mean no and make it no every
single time. Not just for right now. But
for every time. My nephew is clinically
obese at age 4 because his own mother
cannot say no. She says he gets into the
fridge on his own and her parents always
give him pop whenever he wants it. As the
parent it is your responsibility to make
the rules and stick to them. Just as
diamondz said. You are the parent. You
be the parent.
Of course everyone will rebel at first.
From your son having tantrums to your
parents having their own tantrums. But if
you want things to change, you be strong
and change them.
Good luck ;) (i know all about this. I
lived with my inlaws when I had my baby at
16. It was not a pretty picture!)
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AlliE_18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Dec 2005
Posts: 2129
Location: uk
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Posted: 06-05-06 06:12am
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Hi chrissy! I agree, I think you should
try your hardest to be in a better
financial position so you can move out
.A.S.A.P. Thats awful what seems to be
going on right now, and its very sad your
son's in that situation too, with everyone
arguing around him, and making him
spoiled. He wont respect you or anyone if
that goes on much longer, he'll think hes
in charge he gets his way with everything
cos of your parents. They're older, they
should a more responsible helping you, not
causing this b/s. You dont need that
stress either.
With the soda thing, my sisters daughter
got addicted to that stuff too. She knew
it was unhealthy etc so she started
filling half the cup with soda and half
with water. Slowly reduce amount of soda
further and add more water instead. He'll
be off it in no time. Hes too young to
understand when you say 'no its bad for
u'. And its unfair to refuse giving it to
him, if your parents are still going to.
He wont understand so yeh he'll get
upset/angry/frustrated poor thing. Your
parents need to agree to do that aswell
though, or it wont work.
Damn im so mad at your parents! Lol
goodluck!
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 5041
Location: to hell with this crap
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Posted: 06-05-06 10:35am
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Luv, I feel for you. My sister was
forced to move back home because of her
boyfriend leaving her when he found out
she was preggers. She went crazy and she
did move out and has become the parent of
her son. But she went thru the same
things before she did move out. I dont'
know your finacial situation or anything
like that but I think it best for you to
move out. I dont' belive that just
because you are the mother that this is
going to change. You may say this to
your parents but as long as you are living
under their roof it's not going to chnage.
You know?????
I would advise you to work digilantly and
save save save, and move out. Also you
mentioned no more bottles and then you
went away for the weekend and when you
came back....He was on the bottle again
that is something that you could have
controled if you had been there. So
maybe no more weekend's away unless you
can maybe get a sitter or some one you
know to watch the little guy that will
follow your rules. You can controle the
situation a little better....You just have
to try....And be a little stricter with
your 'rents'
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candita_sky
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 02 May 2006
Posts: 522
Location: in the land of pooh bear
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Posted: 06-05-06 13:41pm
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Have you tried maybe pour half soda out
then add water and just keep adding more
and more as time goes by he will not want
it at all. My freind had same prob when
she lived w/her parents at 19 with a baby
they too spoiled her rotten and she was a
huge brat but that is what my freind did
and within a week little one never wanted
pop again. :lol:
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