Joined: 12 Jan 2004 Posts: 2 Location: Jacksonville, Fl
Unaffectionate Boyfriend Posted: 01-12-04 13:15pm
I have been dating my boyfriend for over 2
1/2 years & I still cant understand
him. I am a very affectionate person
& love to kiss & cuddle. My
boyfriend hates to cuddle & anytime he
kisses me its just a peck, never
passionate. This isnt something recent,
he's been like this as long as I can
remember. He always finds excuses not to
spend more than 2 hours with me at a time
& he never wants to be intimate
(without sex) during that time. I'm very
stressed & wonder what I should do.
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 01-12-04 13:49pm
I would suggest writing a letter...For
some reason this seems to get through to
men more than talking to them. Let him
know exactly how you feel. But chances
are, if this is how he was when you met,
this is how he is going to be. But if he
has changed, then you need to find out
why.
Good luck,
jennifer
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weemishka
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Apr 2004 Posts: 16 Location: belleville, Ont
Posted: 04-23-04 05:33am
I lived with my ex for a year. 3 months
into our relationship he stopped sleeping
with me almost completely, wouldn't give
me more than a peck for a kiss, and sad
"be good" if I tried to touch him or be
affectionate. I was rejected for the last
9 months of our relationship and as a
result went into a severe depression.
Don't question yourself! It is normal to
want and need affection! I now have a new
boyfriend that makes me sooo happy. All
those months of rejection made me
appreciate this boy so much more. Someone
out there will love you the way you want
to be loved. Don't let him control you or
hurt you anymore!
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TX_momy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jan 2004 Posts: 120 Location: TX
What Do You Mean No Sex? Posted: 05-21-04 10:28am
Was this 2 years ago or just now happen
(no sex!) ask him what is wrong and maybe
you should take a break and think about it
.... No more than 2 hours what's the
matter with this guy (than I don't know
how old you guys are )
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kkrissymh
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Sep 2004 Posts: 3
Posted: 09-28-04 15:33pm
I'm actually going through the same thing
right now. We decided to take a break,
something has to change if you're not
happy. We could never make out without it
leading to sex, and then if I wanted it
and he wasn't in the mood forget about it,
but if I wasn't feeling it he'd bug until
I gave in(this specefic thing wasn't our
major prob though), and I would get to see
him if he had to work the next morning and
couldn't go to the bars or needed a place
to crash b/c his was too loud. It's a
hard situation, especially if you love
him, as I do mine. Maybe you should
distance yourself, not be so available. I
know this kind of falls into the mind
games thing, but it's working for me.
I've always had a problem saying something
when it's bothering me, but I worked on
this with him and if something bugged me I
would tell him, though that almost seemed
to be counter productive in my case. Try
telling him, relatioships are about giving
and taking, if he's not willing to change
then maybe try taking a break, something
i've realized in the past few weeks is
that if it's bothering you now, what are
you going to do if you marry this man?
Are you going to be able to put up with
this for the rest of your life? It's a
really hard call to make, but there is
someone out there who will treat you the
way you want to be treated. I hope this
helps, and I wish you the best!!
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Daile
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 319 Location: Missouri
Posted: 10-15-04 15:15pm
My boyfriend is the same. He has a
problem with "public affection" (his
words), but seems to think that public
means when anyone other than us is in the
room. He'll hold my hand when we're going
through the store, but only because I make
him. He actually yelled at me one day for
trying to hold his hand in the car!! I
don't know what to do about, because we've
talked ourselves to death and he says it
won't ever change. When we're alone he's
the perfect guy, but it's like he thinks
he has to be someone else when other
people are around.
i have been dating my
boyfriend for over 2 1/2 years & I
still cant understand him. I am a
very affectionate person & love to
kiss & cuddle. My boyfriend
hates to cuddle & anytime he kisses me
its just a peck, never passionate.
This isnt something recent, he's been like
this as long as I can remember. He
always finds excuses not to spend more
than 2 hours with me at a time & he
never wants to be intimate (without sex)
during that time. I'm very stressed
& wonder what I should do.
:cry:
such signs only tell me
that your so-called boyfriend is cheating.
An assumption indeed, but there is
evidence (his actions in the form of
description) to support this theory. In
regards as to being together for over two
years as you claim, this is not relevant
in any way, nor does it matter.
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vanessalouanne
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 2268 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-21-05 11:30am
I love when people try to make themselves
sound smart.
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vanessalouanne
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 2268 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-21-05 12:37pm
Lol...And this kid is the first to tell
you how "intelligent" he is. If he does
say so himself :roll:
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vanessalouanne
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 2268 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-21-05 13:02pm
:lol:
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vanessalouanne
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 2268 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-21-05 13:02pm
Hate to imagine what kind of mother he
must have :evil:
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genrai
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Mar 2008 Posts: 5
Posted: 03-21-08 15:13pm
i think shes right! maybe your boyfriend
are cheating at you you must be thankful
becasuse in two years no sex. wow dont
waste your time on a boy friend like that
you dont deserve to have a man like him go
and find somebody else who will love you
in return like you do. am a man thats why
i know that.... oppppsssssss sorry for
interfering on girls conversation... have
a good day to all. and one more thing he
diddnt love you in the first place thats
why......
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shrekan
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2008 Posts: 3
help......... Posted: 07-12-08 06:09am
hi... i have an affair to a married guy..
and we're 4 yrs and half now that were
together!!!ever since that our
relationship starts i accept the
consequences that will happen to me...
that time his wife and his kids are far
from him... then suddenly last week he
told me his family will come to be with
him... i don't know what i'm going to do..
i can't help myself for crying... then he
keeps on asking me if i'm angry... does
anyone here can help me or advice me to
ease the pain that i'm feeling right
now...
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vampire_sweetness86
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2008 Posts: 22 Location: ,
Thanks: 2
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-12-08 06:20am
My bf wasnt very affectioniate to me and
also said "be good" to me when he started
cheating.. and we were living together and
had been thru a lot ... i couldnt believe
he would do such a thing.. anyway the girl
he decided to cheat on me with was only
playing him(serves him right!!!) of course
he got right back with me and we are still
together and he is back to being
affectionate like he used to be before the
cheating and i told him if he ever cheated
on me again he'd be in the hospital lol
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worrywart01
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 May 2008 Posts: 421 Location: ,
Thanks: 29
Thanked:5
online
Posted: 07-12-08 10:12am
vampire_sweetness86
wrote:
My bf wasnt very
affectioniate to me and also said "be
good" to me when he started cheating.. and
we were living together and had been thru
a lot ... i couldnt believe he would do
such a thing.. anyway the girl he decided
to cheat on me with was only playing
him(serves him right!!!) of course he got
right back with me and we are still
together and he is back to being
affectionate like he used to be before the
cheating and i told him if he ever cheated
on me again he'd be in the hospital
lol
and you trust him still now? i think if my
bf ever cheated on me the lack of trust
would eventually ruin our
relationship..i'd drive myself crazy
wondering where he was or what he was
doing all the time
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