Joined: 03 Dec 2005 Posts: 34 Location: lafayette, colorado
Living In Hell Posted: 06-06-06 16:47pm
I am so depressed I have actually weakened
myself from crying so much. I have never
felt so alone in my whole life.
Everything I say or do is wrong. I am
fifty two years old and have nothing to
show for it. I don't know when my mind
and my brain got so screwed up but it has.
I feel like just ending it all but I
won't I would probably do that wrong too
thanks for listening
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orange_rae
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jun 2006 Posts: 4 Location: Idaho
Posted: 06-07-06 00:25am
I'm sad too and i'm only 21 years old.
This probably won't help you but i'm gonna
say it anyways because it's the truth. 52
years old is still young in this day and
age and ending it now would only mean you
left nothing but a life you regret for
others to remember you by. It is possible
to turn things around and I would start by
going to the doctor to get some medicine
that just might help w/your depression.
I have faith in you and I know that
everything will work out in the end
because you sound like a very nice person
to me.
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Shadow_Self
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Jun 2006 Posts: 2 Location: Canada
Re: Living In Hell Posted: 06-07-06 05:57am
buttons119
wrote:
i am so depressed I have
actually weakened myself from crying so
much. I have never felt so alone in my
whole life. Everything I say or do is
wrong. I am fifty two years old and
have nothing to show for it. I don't
know when my mind and my brain got so
screwed up but it has. I feel like just
ending it all but I won't I would probably
do that wrong too thanks for
listening
hello buttons,
i just joined a few moments ago, and
spotted your post. I could have written
that post. I am 51, and am going through
a difficult time now too.
You sound like you are hating yourself,
not to mention blaming yourself...I've
been there, and I sometimes still feel
that way. It's so hard to reach
"mid-life" especially when you look back
and can't see anything you can feel proud
of. You are here though, and that makes
you a survivor. To come to this message
board and write what you did is
courageous, that in itself is an
accomplishment. You are helping others by
baring your soul. I immediately felt a
kinship with you, and I just want to tell
you I understand. I have been crying a
lot lately too, sometimes I feel like my
heart and soul are being ripped from my
body. Nothing dramatic has happened to
make me feel this way...I am just sad. I
feel as if I am grieving....And I think I
may be....Grieving my youth, grieving the
fact that I haven't accomplished much. I
do know that "what if's" and "should
have's" are corrosive and that we need to
learn to accept things as they are. We
must try to live in the moment and not
mourn for the past or wonder about the
future. Until we live for this moment,
right now, we will make our struggle
harder.
Coming to boards like these and seeing
that we are not alone is helpful. Reading
self-help books is as well, and of course
seeking professional help if you want it
is never a bad idea.
Please take care of yourself, I hope that
some of the darkness lifts soon.
“anyone can give up, it's the easiest
thing in the world to do. But to hold it
together when everyone else would
understand if you fell apart, that's true
strength.” (author unknown)
