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Pregnancy Forum > Pregnancy Forum > I Have Anger Problems---scared of Stressing a Fetus
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Q: I Have Anger Problems---scared of Stressing a Fetus
asked by: Melissa569 on June 8th, 2006
New User
I have always had problems with anger.

When my husband knows something bothers me and he does it anyway, my blood just starts racing and I feel like I want to tear the whole building down with my bare hands! Its like this nuclear bomb that goes off inside me.

I try to do everything I can to stay calm---splash cold water on my face or step outside, breethe deelpy and go for a little walk. But it still feels like i'm going to explode. When I get angry, its like my skin all goes numb.

Usually, I will scream really loud or slam the doors real hard. Then I will feel totally exhausted and lay down for a while.

This usually happens maybe once a week or so. Hubby and I are thinking of having a baby, but i'm worried that if I got pregnant, my anger explosions will stress the baby.
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Becky
replied on June 8th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
Hi there my best friend suffers from a similiar thing but she has bioplar disorder which causes her to be hysterically angry, lashing out at her boyfriend and smashing things up in the house and then she gets calm again and regrets everything she did and starts crying.
She has 'lows' too which make her feel depressed and suicidal. She is currently taking medicine for it and going to anger managment and counselling.
Maybe you should speak to your doctor and tell him your concerns. He may be able to suggest something to help like anger management
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tigresacanela24
replied on June 8th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
I have a stereotypical "latin" temper but I knew that the anger would be bad for baby so I made it a point to not allow myself to be so angry. It can be done. I just asked myself everytime that I was ready to explode if the situation was important enough to warrant my anger and if I was ready to be that angry knowing the potential harm it could do to the blue m&m. Usually it wasn't important enough when weighed against the potential damage.
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Eyes Wide Shut
replied on June 8th, 2006
Especially eHealthy
I defiantely went through the saaaaame thing!! Talk about an angry person. Now, I do have a slight chemical imballance which almost triggerd some post pardom...But I kicked it in the ass!!

Anyways...During my pregnancy I screamed at the top of my lungs, seriously, all day long. If I wasn't yelling at one person, I was yelling at myself. After I would yell and scream I would start to cry because I thought my baby was going to go def!! I would hold my belly and apologize and swear to never do it again, only to walk out and have a fight picked with me!!!

Well in the end, my baby can now sleep through world war 3!!! Seriously, the only thing that wakes her up is my voice when I start getting a little loud. It's like she remembers it being so loud from the womb and she wakes up. If my .Fiance gets loud, you don't hear a peep from her. I vaccuum right next to her bed while she sleeps, we've even screwed up window treatments while she was sleeping and she didn't budge.

Many people might tell you that your baby is going to be finnicky or nervous and collicky...But in my case that wasn't true. The stress my body went through (the blood boiling, and the vein pulsating) could have had an effect, but it didn't. She's as calm as could be...When she doesn't have gas!!

Seriously, from one 'hot head' to another, just walk away and count to 10. I know it sounds craaazy...But you'll wind up laughing that you're actually counting and it'll settle you brain for a few seconds to calm down!!!

Sarah
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Melissa569
replied on June 8th, 2006
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Lol, thanks guys.


Yeah, it is pretty hard to hold the temper down. And hey, maybe I have a slight bi-polar problem! Cuz that sounds just like me---i get angry, scream and yell, then later, I feel guilty and get all sad and depressed.

The thing that makes me andgry the most is when my husband promises me almost every night that we will spend a little time together. Then as soon as he gets home from work, he runs upstairs to our neighbor duke's house and sits there all night long, playing poker! See, he works 12 hours a day (goes to work at 11am, comes home at 11pm). I like....Hardly ever get to hang with hubby at all anymore, because he stays at dukes till 2 or 3 am!

Even when he does stay home, he just burries himself in the online poker games on the computer. I've tried everything---massaging him, flirting to get his attention, dressing in lacy langere, fondling "certain areas"of his...........Nothing gets him away from that computer!!!!


I get so angry because I talk to him about it a few times a week. He always tells me I am "absolutely right" and I deserve more companionship. Then the next night, he does it again! Its like I don't even have a husband sometimes. Its really annoying. I'm mostly angry because I know something like that could end our relationship, since i'm deffinitely going to get sick of it. But he just keeps on doing it, then comes home and tries to act like nothing is wrong. Then he blames all our fights on me and wonders why i'm always so angry.


Its a tough spot to be in too......No comanionship, romance or conversation with the man I have, but I can't date someone else because we're all "attached" and we took vows in a church!

Sometimes I think i'm too scared to have kids with him. If he blows the kids off the way he blows me off, that's really going to hurt them!


As for the depression, I tried anti-depressants in the past, but they just made me feel worse.

But diet helps quite a bit!! Sugar and caffine make me explosive and short tempered. Starch (potatoes, pasta, rice) make me sluggish, sleepy and depressed. So when I cut those things out, I feel much happier and have way more energy. Like I just drink crystal light and eat lots of vegies and lean meats. Really soothes my nerves. Works better than any anti-depressant ever did, hahaha. But I still got hubby to stress me out!!! Lol
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diamondsz
replied on June 8th, 2006
Extremely eHealthy
I have a bad temper for me it cause I let stuff build and build and go off like a time bomb unfortuantly the only thing that helped for me was kickboxing/soccer lol I used to pic the ball as being someones head lol jk!



Anyways I stressed so much in my pregnancy that my blood pressure kept going through the rrof and would send me to the hospital I kept trying to wuit smoking and my dr said for my health it would be better if I didnt but also recommended having a glass of wine when I got like that. I drink every second day or so and I find it helps alot red wine is actually healthy for you too and they do have sweet stuff called san gria. Alcohol is not an answer but I dont drink to get drunk I drink to relax/unwind and it works miracles!!

Best of luck I had alot of complications from stress so yes it can cause problems I almost had my son at 26 wks because I stressed myself I went into labor but it stopped after they gave me something and I carried my son to term actually he ended up overdue!
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