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makayla22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 1
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17 And Pregnant
Posted: 06-08-06 09:30am
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I found out about a month ago I was
pregnant after taking four tests with all
positive results... I had my last period
in march and according to all the
pregnancy calendars I am 11 weeks
pregnant. I live with my mom and I
havent yet told her the news, I am soo
scared, but I know I have to be mature
about it and tell her so I can get
appropriate prenatal care. I am keeping
the baby by the way. My boyfreind of 2
years is very supportive and he would
never step out on me and our baby. But
thats where the real problems come in.
He is 21 years old and I am only 17. My
mom has threatened putting him in jail in
the past because of his age and now that
im pregnant I just dont know what to do!
I am so scared that she will press charges
and put him in jail, I dont know what I
would do if he couldnt be there when the
baby is born. By the time I have the baby
it will only be a couple months later
until I turn 18. Im just completely
stuck on what to do... Someone please
give me some advise.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-08-06 09:56am
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Tell her you slept with someone else and
its not his. . .Lol,i don't know
hun,that is a tight situation your in
there.Are you sure she can actualy do
anything?I thought it was like 16 is wrong
but 17 is ok.I don't know,maybe i'm mixed
up.Why don't you go talk to a councelor or
a police officer and find out first what
your mom can and can't do and decide from
there.I mean the officer isn't going to
say "where is that boy,i'm arresting hm!"
lol just tell them you need help and ask
questions.I'm sure they would be more than
happy to answer you!
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alongtimeago
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 1
Location: KY
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Posted: 06-08-06 10:03am
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Its great that you are going to keep your
baby. And you already know that you need
to tell your mom. Im not sure of the
laws, but I belive if you are 17, the law
has little power. The important thing is,
you are pregnant, and the baby needs a
father. Would your mother really do that?
Even knowing you are pregnant with his
child? Also, if she does take legal
action, he will most likley spend the
night in jail and be put on probation.
The only thing you need to worry about is
if she gets a restraining order. I sugest
you talk to a police officer, and get some
info before you tell your mother. Good
luck hun!
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 10769
Location: ,
Thanks: 53
Thanked:35
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Posted: 06-08-06 10:10am
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I don't really have any advice but I did
want to point out that you should look
into what the legal age for your state is.
In some places it's 16, others it's 18.
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 5041
Location: to hell with this crap
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Posted: 06-08-06 10:15am
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Here in florida, the laws are different.
If the girl is 16 & older and the male
is under the age of 25 it's not statutory
rape. So I would advise you to check
into the laws in your state and speek with
someone you trust to help you out with the
laws. And then once you know and have
the knowledge of the laws you can
comfortably speak with your mother and
also advise her of the laws and that he is
willing to financially help you and help
take care of the baby.
However, you can also tell her that the
baby isn't his. But the only thing with
that is.....You will be living with lies
about your baby and who the father is.
If your current boyfriend wants to duck
out on you and the baby (not that he
would) he could easly because you have
said that it's not his and in that case he
may not help you financially until you get
a court order to have a dna test done.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-08-06 10:44am
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| sunflower_pie81
wrote: | here in florida, the laws
are different. If the girl is 16 &
older and the male is under the age of 25
it's not statutory rape.
However, you can also tell her that the
baby isn't his. But the only thing with
that is.....You will be living with lies
about your baby and who the father is.
If your current boyfriend wants to duck
out on you and the baby (not that he
would) he could easly because you have
said that it's not his and in that case he
may not help you financially until you get
a court order to have a dna test
done. |
thats what I was talking
about,here in fl,i think its ok and he
wouldn't get into trouble.The whole
telling her mom tis not his would only be
until she turned 18 which by then the baby
will be beorn therefor there is nothing
she can do about it! : )
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Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006
Posts: 10769
Location: ,
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Posted: 06-08-06 11:11am
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| melissa_20
wrote: | | the whole telling her mom
tis not his would only be until she turned
18 which by then the baby will be beorn
therefor there is nothing she can do about
it! : ) |
except the baby will be proof that they
were having a sexual relationship before
she turned 18.
I don't know how these things work but I
think that even though she'd be 18 by then
he could still get in trouble because the
baby is his so obviously he was having sex
with an underage girl.
But yeah, check the laws for your state!
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 8004
Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 0
Thanked:1
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Posted: 06-08-06 11:19am
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My mom told me a story about someone she
knew who was around that age, and the
boyfriend was a couple years older and
they were just dating and the parents
turned him in and now shes a sex offender
(i guess they were having sex) for the
rest of his life. The sad thing is theyre
now married and have children, but if they
want to go anywhere out of their city
limits he has to go do a whole bunch of
crap and he cant live so many feet away
from the school and yada yada, for the
rest of his freaking life! Thats sad. I
hope your mom doesn't result to that,
especially since your baby does need its
father around. Good luck :)
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arcadia
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 May 2006
Posts: 4468
Location: Illinois,
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Posted: 06-08-06 11:25am
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My boyfriends old roommate &best
friend, while in high school, had a
girlfriend who was 15 or 16, he was 17, .I
believe.. They were having sex,
&well, maybe the law was different
then, but apparently, the girl's mother
found out they were sleeping together
&she got him in huge trouble. He's
22, now &considered a sex offender.
He forgot to register as such a few months
ago &was put in jail [still in there,
actually]. Now he's considered a sex
offender for like 20 or 30 years or
something.
Not sure if any of that story is bullsh*t,
that's just the information we received.
Last edited by arcadia on 06-08-06 11:27am; edited 1 time in total
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Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006
Posts: 6220
Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
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Posted: 06-08-06 11:26am
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Gosh things are so different over there
than they are here in england. Here a guy
can only be accused of rape if the girl is
under 16 and he is over 18. We get it
alot better I guess. We are legal to
smoke and have sex at 16, we can drink at
18 and we finish school at 16 with no need
to continue. However I prefer your rules
as many of the people here aren't mature
enough at the age's given.
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Zanny
Supporter
Joined: 01 Apr 2006
Posts: 2197
Location: Preston, Lancashire United Kingdom
Thanks: 24
Thanked:27
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Posted: 06-08-06 11:47am
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Hey makayla, we're in similar situations..
I'm also 17 and pregnant, expecting a
baby just before I turn 18. My mum is
ignoring me because she calls me a "family
disgrace" and my dad doesn't even know
yet.. I'm scared of what he'll do. My
boyfriend is going to stand by me, and
we're going to raise the baby together.
So you're not alone, believe me.
You can do it, no matter what.. You just
need to look after yourself and your baby.
I'm sure your mum will understand if you
make it clear how much you love the
father, and that he's gunna stay with
you.. It'll just shock her at first. You
do need to tell her soon though, for your
baby's sake. Keep your chin up, hun =)
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AshBoBash
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Feb 2006
Posts: 277
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Posted: 06-08-06 11:55am
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What state do live in. The age of consent
is different from state to state. I know
in washington the age of consent is 16+
cause I watched something once about a
girl who was having a relationship with
her preacher and she was 17 and nothing
could be done about it cause in washington
the age of consent is 16.
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Sunflower_pie81
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Posts: 5041
Location: to hell with this crap
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Posted: 06-08-06 12:15pm
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My cousin was 19 and worked in a 7-11 type
place and this girl came in and showed id
that she was 19 too (in order to buy cigs)
and they started dating all the while
thinking the girl was 19....She was only
15 and he is now a sex offender too
because this girl lied to him and he was
unaware that she was acctually 15. He
was put in jail and just recently got
arrested again because he was 7 day's late
on regestering as a sex offender in the
new place that he lived. He went to get
registered and then they called the cops
on him because he didn't register on time.
It was crazy.
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HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005
Posts: 8004
Location: Missouri, United States
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Posted: 06-08-06 13:04pm
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Oh my god! That's horrible, people are so
stupid I swear :roll: I dont know how
someone could live with themself if they
did something like that.
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Melissa_20
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2006
Posts: 6806
Location: Florida
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Posted: 06-08-06 13:18pm
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That is so rediculous! People have some
nerve!
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ThriftyGal
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2006
Posts: 2982
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: 06-08-06 15:02pm
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Well if your mom is mature about it all
she'll realize now is not the time to put
her energy into getting revenge on him for
sleeping with you, but it's time to be
supportive and realize she needs to help
make the situation as healthy and
promising as possible. Maybe tell her if
she can't support him, as he is directly
tied to you, then you don't think she can
be a part of the whole sitation?
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oh_mommy
Supporter
Joined: 04 Sep 2005
Posts: 3689
Location: vancouver island, bc canada
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Posted: 06-08-06 15:50pm
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Where I live the age of concent is
apparently 14 I heard.. I uno if thats
true I didnt start having sex till I was
16 anyways your bf is only 4 years older
then you anyways so I dont see the big
deal.. My grandparents are 8 years apart!
:o
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MamiClaudia
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 May 2006
Posts: 319
Location: Gastonia, NC.
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Posted: 06-08-06 16:59pm
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As far as I know.. The law in the us is
age of concent is 16 however if there are
more then two year diffrence between you
and your partner if soeone is under 18..
In your case being 17 and your boyfriend
being over 19.. Your mom can press
charges and it is statchatory rape. If
you have a place you can go your mom cant
stop you from leaving the house. As long
as you go to school and stay out of
trouble with the law and do what you are
supposed to be doing the cops can come to
where you are and tell you you should go
home but they cant make you. Maybe you
should move in with your boyfriend. I
would talk to a womens center or social
services about your situation. Hopefully
everything will be okay and im sorry I
cant spell but I dont feel like spell
checking
<3
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Kimmeh
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2005
Posts: 1104
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
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Posted: 06-08-06 17:34pm
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I was 17 when I got pregnant and my
boyfriend (ex now) was 21...Here if you're
over 15 or 16 then it's okay.
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mum2bubba
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2005
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Posted: 06-09-06 06:24am
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No matter what, you need to tell your mum,
yes she will probably be mad at first but
in time she will get over it, there are
millions of girls out there who have
babies younger than you and with a little
(or a lot) of help from their parents they
do ok, you need help with this baby even
if you are 35. I don't know if your mum
will get your bf charged (hopefully not)
if it makes it easier maybe have a third
person to be there with you even if they
don't say anything, or you could tell your
mum when you're in a public place ie a
restaurant or something, I was 22 when I
had my first and even *i* found it hard to
tell my dad (my mum died when I was
younger) so I couldn't imagine what it'd
be like for a 17 year old.
Don't forget you are still young so no
matter what anyone says you have your
whole life to do what you want and you can
go back to school and get a job when your
baby is older, but you gotta tell your
mum, the sooner the better. Best of luck
:)
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