Joined: 06 Jun 2006 Posts: 6 Location: lincolnshire
Just Need to Get It of My Chest ! I Lied!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 06-08-06 17:00pm
So I lied life sucks !!!! Why is it that
6 days after I feel worse now than I did
before.
My husband is on nights this week and
tonight with my bottle or red that I
should not have opened I cant understand
why it hurts so much, every one I know
that knows dont talk about it ! Its
forgotten!!!!!! But I forgot to forget!
I feel like I cant grieve because I never
new them they were never born but to me
they are my twins and my baby!!
Please tell me it gets better and there is
hope of another child and there is no more
wine in the
world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks em xxx
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foxy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2006 Posts: 487 Location: Nassau, Bahamas
Posted: 06-12-06 13:30pm
Hi little flower, I am sorry to hear about
your loss, I too had a mc earlier on this
year and I want you to know that grieving
is a natural and necessary part of the
emotional healing that has to take place
after a mc, yes you did know your babies,
they were a part of you....You may not
have seen them yet, but that attachment
was formed as soon as you found out you
were pregnant, and your feeling of loss is
real and it will take some time to get
over it. Drowning your sorrows in wine
is not going to help anything, it just
numbs the pain for a while...But the pain
will not go away until you go through the
grieving process.
Also don't put a time limit on your grief,
for some it takes a month or two and for
others it takes longer.
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little flower
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jun 2006 Posts: 6 Location: lincolnshire
Posted: 06-13-06 05:54am
Hi foxy
thanks for your reply! You were right the
wine did'nt help but a day later the tears
and anger did!!!!!!!!!!
I really do feel much better now and have
decided never to take a pregnancy test
again but trust my feelings and not get so
wrapped up in babies ! (well its worth a
try) lol !:>)
thank you for your reply its nice to know
you are not alone! I am sorry about your
m/c are you feeling human again?
Has it put you off trying again?
Thanks again
em
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foxy
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 May 2006 Posts: 487 Location: Nassau, Bahamas
Posted: 06-13-06 08:05am
Tears and anger......I know alot about
that. I actually got angry anytime I saw
people going about life as usual. I
thought my child deserved more than just a
few days of mourning. This all happened
in january, I had the mc on new years day,
so yes I am feeling human again. I think
it has alot to do with embracing my
feelings, when I wanted to cry I cried,
when I wanted to scream I screamed, when I
just wanted to stay in bed and be
depressed, thats exactly what I did, and
eventually things got easier and easier.
I still get sad when I think about the
baby I will never hold in my arms, and
just like any other death of a family
member you will always be sad when you
think about it, but the unbearable pain is
gone and I am ttc again.
As far as not getting wrapped up in babies
I personally think that is impossible .
We as women are born with producing and
nurturing tendencies, and at a certain age
(ages vary per person) this instinct just
kicks in and we need to produce offspring
and nurture them throughout their lives.
Once that instinct kicks in, it is hard to
ignore.......At least for me it is :d .
My suggestion is to stop ttc until you
have completely grieved for the twins and
your other baby. That way you will be
emotionally ready.
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