Band Member Has Big Problems - What to Do? Posted: 06-16-06 20:05pm
A prospective member in my band has
confided in me that he 1) has bipolar
disorder and 2) was found guilty of
"inappropriate contact" - presumably with
a minor.
He swears up and down that he was innocent
and he is appealing his case. However,
he did spend 4 months in the local
prison.
I don't really know much about this
bipolar stuff - seems like it's way
overdiagnosed and that anyone with
problems grabs onto some kind of ailment.
Anyway, assuming it's for real, what
should I expect from this person? He
says he has it under control w/medication,
etc. Also seems like a nice person,
although he hasn't made much of his life
despite being highly educated.
30-something, unemployed and living with
his parents. He is a very good musician,
however, and seems to be a hard worker
when it comes to his music.
I'm in a moral dilema - I mean, the guy
did the time for his supposed crime, so
technically he has paid his debt to
society, etc. But it just seems like
this guy carries so much baggage that I
don't know if I (and the rest of the band
- they don't know about it) can deal with
it.
Any ideas? What would you do?
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NitroChic
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Central Illinois
Give Him a Try.... Posted: 06-17-06 17:35pm
I think you may be right in regards to the
over diagnosis of bi_polar disorder, but
make no mistake that it is a serious
condition. You are also correct in that
this gent has paid his debt to society
whether he is guilty or not.
This gent should be willing to talk to the
group as a whole in regards to his
condition, and answer any concerns that
arise. A band needs to stay as cohesive
as possible, and if even one member has a
negative feeling about this, it should be
weighed heavily.
Simply treat it as any job in that there
will be a probationary period, and the
band can decide that he isnt a good fit in
that time without any ramifications.
I am sure that you have to make some
adjustments to each band member at
different times in their life, and this
gent shouldnt be any different. I say
give him a try after you have all
discussed the issues and come to an
agreement.
Nitrochic
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bandleader
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jun 2006 Posts: 2
Posted: 06-17-06 18:24pm
Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I am
leaning that way - it's just that i'm
afraid if I have him "spill the beans"
about his past that it will scare everyone
else off. The bipolar thing I guess I
can handle as long as he has it under
control. I think the band thing would be
one of the few positive things to come
along for this guy in a long time.
The probationary period is a good idea -
thanks, I really hadn't thought about
that. Sounds like a good way to try him
out without committing.
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NitroChic
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Jun 2006 Posts: 7 Location: Central Illinois
Current Band Members Posted: 06-17-06 20:16pm
Of course you know your band members best,
but maybe some of them have some personal
issues.....Drug or alcohol abuse, mental
health issues, personal home life
issues... These are all things that you
already work around...So if he is treated
and under control on medication, it should
be treated just the same...
Do a bit of research on your own, keeping
in mind that he stated he is under control
with medication. Here is a website that
might help.
