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Just Wondering

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Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2006
Posts: 60
Just Wondering
Posted: 06-19-06 04:34am

Why do people tell you to grow up if you dont wanna talk about your feelings? I mean, everyone has their own problems and why should we "have" to talk about ones problems? You "could" say its kinda selfish because youre only talking about you, right? Does it really matter if you bottle them up and dont wanna talk about them? Like I said, why should it matter? It shouldnt imo, if you dont wanna talk about your problems then dont, they are yours and yours alone so just deal with them yourself. Anyway what do you guys have to say to this subject?
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Spirit

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006
Posts: 387
Location: Canada

Posted: 06-19-06 08:24am

Telling someone to "grow up" just cause they don't want to talk about their problems is kind of lame. You don't have to unload on someone just cause they want to know your business. This is where you have to find someone you trust....A close friend or a close family member, someone who won't "use" it against you when the going gets tough. If these people don't exist in your life (yet) then unloading online is probably the safest way.
Even if people don't totally understand where your coming from....And this is difficult for the human mind to understand everything fully, because of different circumstances...The way we were brought up, whether your family are supportive or whether they're jerks, whether there is a disability involved or neglect/sustance abuse etc......People can give empathy.
Finding someone who empathizes with your situation is probably what you want...........Keeping it all inside leads to thoughts of depression and even suicide.
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w0rldd0minat0r

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Feb 2006
Posts: 238
Re: Just Wondering
Posted: 06-19-06 09:55am

down wrote:
why do people tell you to grow up if you dont wanna talk about your feelings? I mean, everyone has their own problems and why should we "have" to talk about ones problems? You "could" say its kinda selfish because youre only talking about you, right? Does it really matter if you bottle them up and dont wanna talk about them? Like I said, why should it matter? It shouldnt imo, if you dont wanna talk about your problems then dont, they are yours and yours alone so just deal with them yourself. Anyway what do you guys have to say to this subject?


i think it helps to talk about problems because it releases stress about them but u should be able to do this when u want to
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luvkittykats

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2005
Posts: 69
Location: north carolina

Posted: 06-25-06 00:08am

Bump
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Agent

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2006
Posts: 3
Location: Connecticut

Posted: 07-21-06 07:47am

I think when you say "grow up" it shuts the person down and makes them not want to share. I think learning to share your feelings with a person or two that you can trust is actually very healthy....In a world that has so much negativity in it, I fear that many young people are learning to shut down and turn inward... Not a good thing.
Sharing is good for the soul, (when one is willing) and it reinforces communication skills which are necessary in life, family, relationships, jobs etc.
Bottom line, it's not what you tell someone, it's how you tell them. If someone told me to grow up and talk about what's bothering me, I would find someone else to share with!
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