Anxiety and Stress Forum - New Bride Needs to Relax


New Bride Needs to Relax

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Lucky

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 15 Jan 2004
Posts: 6
Location: arkansas

New Bride Needs to Relax Posted: 01-15-04 00:32am


I dont know if I have anxiety , but I do know that my stress level is high. I have been put on zoloft, paxil, and prozac. None of these has helped me. It's gotten to the point where I clench my jaw all the time. Even when i'm awake. I catch myself doing it and it takes all I have to make myself relax. But, not long, and i'm clenching my jaw again. My shoulders and my back are hurting constantly also.....Its like I cant make myself relax!! I dont know how else to expain it. I just got married to the greatest guy in the world, and finally at the age of 29 I feel like my life is getting better, but i'm in constant pain. I dont understand it, and I dont know how to fix it! Any suggestions?

verryaryawan

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy

Joined: 17 Sep 2003
Posts: 17
Location: singapore

Thanks: 1

Thanked:0

New Bride Needs to Relax Posted: 01-15-04 01:02am


You can take chinese medicine if you want. But need more information from you before suggesting one ver ryaryawan@hotmail.Com

qt3

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy

Joined: 14 Nov 2003
Posts: 264

Cbt Posted: 01-15-04 02:30am


The answer for me was cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt). I was on meds for many years before I found cbt and it cured me and got me off meds in a remarkably short period of time. I didn't have a lot of the physical pain related stufff the stress is causing you but cbt teaches you tools to relieve the stress so hopefully that in turn would relieve your pain. A good cbt therapist knows they cannot change what's already happened to you but they can help you change how you deal with what happens in your life from here on out. It's all about using the tools to learn to think more clearly and accurately about things and once you do your anxiety, panic and depression will miraculously begin to lift before your eyes. My favorite starter book on cbt is "been there, done that? Do this! By sam obitz (www.Tao3.Com) based on what I have seen with the people I know who used cbt the more dedicated you are to the tools the faster and deeper the recovery regardless of how bad their anxiety and stress level was when they got started. Like anything in life the more you put in the more you get out of cbt. That's why I think group settings can be especially effective with cbt because you can see the people that are working the hardest to get well making the most progress and it becomes infectious. Hope this is helpful

purple333

Extremely EHEALTHy

Joined: 01 Dec 2003
Posts: 1421
Location: Sydney

Posted: 01-15-04 09:05am


Lucky, i too married at 29 after living together for almost 12 months but when that marriage cert. Was signed a bizarre new me emerged, I was so uptight & tense & worried etc etc, with the help of a friend who also happened to be a psychologist I came to see that for some reason I had changed with becomin a "wife". I know that these days we're supposed to be equal & share etc, but there is still constant input, media, books, movies, people's comments etc etc & that goes into our subconscious & for me it "came out" as stress that I was not being the "good little wife & doing all the housework etc etc" even though I was working while he was at home finishing a college degree. So if (as seems the case by what you say) you weren't like this before marriage & if (as I assume) you haven't had any accidents to cause the pain etc, see a friend &/or counsellor you can trust & think about whether this pain is the way your subconscious is choosing to let out your fears of failure, of not being "the perfect wife" (something women get thrown at them from all sides but men can do whatever - take marge simpson versus homer!!!!) fear of marriage failing (especially if your parents are divorced or having problems) fears about coping financially or with children or of things you feel the two of you haven't fully discussed & sorted through yet. Another one is, we obviously want to get on well with our in laws, but that isn't always possible & maybe you feel guilty about that or the opposite, that he doesn't get on with your family. We think the hard part is meeting the right person & getting through the ceremony, but in truth the hard part is learning to live with each other as "a married couple" & as I say, this applied to me even though we'd been living together for 12 months prior to marrying & in the same house we lived in after marriage, yet for some reason after it became legal I started stressing out something fierce & for no "valid" reason. Before you get hooked on meds of any sort of cbt see if any of the above or similar maight be the actual problem, work through it & you'll be fine. A couple of other things just occurred to me; did you get a new bed &/or pillow - maybe it/they are too hard/soft ?? You mention clenching your jaw, could it be dislocated? In other words alot has changed one way & another & there may be a simple answer. Good luck. Pm me if you want to chat.