I'm 18 and just found out that i'm
pregnant... I live with my boyfriend, and
we both have jobs (his is pretty good, and
mine is average for someone with just a
highschool education). He already knows
about it, and is very supportive. Between
our income, we can live decently. A baby
would put a bit of a strain on our
finances, but nothing we can't survive
on.
Here's where the problem comes in....How
do I tell my parents? Ever since I was
young enough to know where babies came
from, my mother would always say "don't
get pregnant...It will ruin your life..."
it was a constant..She seriously said it
once about every 3 days, and even more
when I had boyfriends..She is completely
against pre marital sex. She got very mad
when she found out I wanted to take a
break from school, and move out with my
boyfriend, who she doesn't really like
because of some of the things he used to
be into.
I've accepted the fact that i'm going to
be a mom, and i'll do the best I can. But
i'm so scared to tell my parents... I
don't know how i'll do this without
them...Any advice on how I can tell them?
And what to say when they flip out?
|
tiffanyg
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2006 Posts: 27 Location: Oklahoma
Posted: 06-20-06 14:27pm
Your mom sounds a lot like mine!! At the
beginning of my first pregnancy I told my
sister and she made me call my mom at work
big mistake she really made me feel like
crap she then called my dad and he kept
telling me to have an abortion well then I
was only a jr. In high school living with
my now husband I eventually had a
miscarriage which to tell you the truth
was probably the best for the baby and us
I don't think we were completely ready to
become parents.....I got pregnant again a
few months later and we waited till after
my first trimester to say anything to
avoid the stress on the baby at such an
early stage I sat down with my mom at my
house and told her gently she was still
dissapointed but she was ok with it
because she knew my husband better and she
saw how he stood by me with so much
support as for my dad I stopped talking to
him before I ever knew about the second
pregnancy.... I think no matter what you
do or how you tell them they will be
disappointed but they won't have any
choice but to love their grandbaby
I wrote my dad an e-mail, my sister told
my mom with my permission. If I had to
tell my mom myself I would have written
her a letter, because if I told her in
person she would have freaked out and not
given me a second to say anything. I'm
all for letter writting, helps you get all
your thoughts out, and then it's easier to
avoid a heated fight because you guys can
both gather yourselves and get use to the
idea before talking about it in person.
I think a lot of it depends on what type
of person your parents are.
|
tiffanyg
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2006 Posts: 27 Location: Oklahoma
Posted: 06-20-06 14:43pm
tanyaface
wrote:
i wrote my dad an e-mail, my
sister told my mom with my permission.
If I had to tell my mom myself I would
have written her a letter, because if I
told her in person she would have freaked
out and not given me a second to say
anything. I'm all for letter writting,
helps you get all your thoughts out, and
then it's easier to avoid a heated fight
because you guys can both gather
yourselves and get use to the idea before
talking about it in person. I think a
lot of it depends on what type of person
your parents are.
i agree with that all the way I tried
writing my dad several letters explaining
how I felt but he's the type that really
doesn't care what you have to say because
he's right all the time no matter what...I
decided to stop writing because if he
wanted to know how the kids or i'm doing
then he knows my address and he knows how
to get a hold of me I just wish I could
get him to understand that I just want him
to care
|
ClarkHam427
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jun 2006 Posts: 91 Location: Creal Springs
How to Tell Posted: 06-20-06 14:50pm
My sister who was 15 at the time had a
hard time telling my parents. My mom knew
something was up for awhile so she wasn't
as upset when she did tell her. She wrote
her an email from my house and waited
awhile to let her cool off before coming
home and explaining everything. My dad on
the other hand was a bit harder. Our
parents are divorced so the baby thing
didn't come up for a couple months. My
sister waited until she had a sonogram
then one day out of the blue she just
handed him the picture and said "congrats
grandpa". He took it better then expected
but expect lectures upon lectures and be
told numerous times how hard it's going to
be. Parents are different and only you
will know whether writing a letter,
sending en email, or telling them face to
face will be easier for you and them.
They might take it easier then you think
they will, or it could take up until the
baby is born to get over it. Their
perspective will most likely change once
the baby is born and they hold their
grandbaby for the first time.
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